Perfection
by GoAnime
Summary: "Look at me compared to him." Matthew's life spirals out of control when his family finds out about his cutting problem. He finally gets noticed by the person he loves but Alfred is noticing him for the reasons he doesn't want to be noticed for. Will a panic attack make this family treat Matthew better or are they going to repeat their mistake again. Rated M later in later chapter
1. Comparing to Perfection

**I own non of the Hetalia characters. But hey I own the story! Yea *pathetically raises hand* Hmm I wonder how it turned out. *rereads it*Oh gosh this is so depressing it's not even funny. All of you are probably wondering where the hell is the comfort don't worry it's coming. Oh gosh I'm so depressed. Shh a couple of these parts I can really relate to and know how it feels... I'm kinda in the same position but not really...**

**Any way off of not so important things please enjoy and not cry like how I did when I reread this. Oh Matthew if you were real you wouldn't have worry I'll definitely hug you and kiss you. I'll just comfort you because everyone's a douche for noticing amazingness. (My Canadian is showing...so obvious I'm a Canadian). Oh yea the song that inspired me was How to Save a Life by The Fray. (I don't own such amazing song so please don't shoot me)**

**Enjoy the fanfic!**

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_Nobody cares about me. Everybody worries if he's not alright. No one notices me. He's always the centre of attention. I really need to pick up the slack._

I continue to look at myself in the mirror.

_My hair is too pale. His is so bright and sun kissed. My hair is to weird. His is gorgeous. My skin is too pale. His has a healthy tan. My eyes are a ugly wash out purple. His are a wild beautiful blue. My uncontrollable curl makes me look stupid. His uncontrollable cow lick makes him look cute._

I touch various parts of my body picking out the things I hate about it.

_Everybody wants to be around him. Does anyone even know I'm here?_

I continue to make myself feel disgusting. I smirk.

_Look at me compared to him. He's absolutely perfect while I'm just not. I'm chubby while he's muscular. I'm weak but he's so strong._

I can't stop myself from comparing. I use to be noticed by parents. He took every last recognition away. The French papa now is constantly talking to him. The British man now constantly cooing over him. No one wants to know about me or my life.

**_I'm impure. Disgusting. Ugly._**

Nobody knows I was raped. No one doesn't care I was in an abusive relationship. No one. I gave up hope on myself. I gave up my body to different people to feel love. Also the man who raped me I have to see him everyday. Fucking teacher...

But oh no it gets worst from there.

A whole lot worst.

Love. Yes you heard me.

_I love the **perfection**. I **fell in love** with him and now it hurts. It hurts hard. Not only is the perfection my brother but do you know how wrong that is on so many levels. He'll probably be **disgusted** by me. **Hate** me. **Reject** me. So I do what I do best, I keep it to myself._

A familiar pressure begins to form in my throat and chest. I need it to go away. I dig deep in my closet. They're everywhere but my best ones are in a black shoe box deep in my closet. I pull out my prize possession. I open the lid to be greeted by the only things that loves me. That recognizes me. That makes me feel loved. I take out my favourite carvers knife that I bought for art class. Now it's used for different reasons. I take it to the bathroom. I forget to fully close it. Stupid me.

I hop into the bath tub and I look at my already scarred hands. What should I do with them. Quick and get it over with? No slow and painful is the way to go. Well I don't care any more. It's not like I'm going to die anyway. Believe me I tried everything, but I am a country so it's impossible. I don't know why but I prefer cutting. It makes the pressure in my chest disappear faster. I hear the door bell ring but I ignore it. It's always for him not for me. Never is it for me. But I forgot that I did have someone coming over again.

I cut a vein and I cut it deep. I feel a rush flow through my body. This is my **e**l**i**x**i**r. The lovely feeling slowly fades and I panic a bit. **No I need this, my body needs it, my mind, my soul, my mental stability.** I cut again and again. Feeling myself get **higher** and **higher**. Higher than the CN Tower. No much much higher. This use to be for punishment but mysteriously I've grown** addicted** to the rush, the feeling of being so high. I shiver and switch hands. Both of them have to look identical so I cut deep not caring about anything or anyone. No one cares about me. No matter how much I try I would never be able to be **perfect** like him. I would never be outgoing, and energetic. I'm smart as hell but not quick on remarks like him.

_If I was him I wouldn't have gotten myself raped by my history teacher. If I was like him I wouldn't be bullied and beaten up. If I was like him I wouldn't have let myself get abused by me ex-boyfriend. If I was like him I wouldn't have sold my my body for someone to say I love you. When really they love the fact that I'm willing to give my body for them. I'm falling fast and dangerous in the **black** abyss. Some one anyone save me...sav..._

I feel my thoughts begin to slow down as more blood spills into the tub. Soon I'll fade to wake up five to ten minutes later. Why couldn't I permanently stay dead. The sound of my blood dripping into the tub lulls me into a deep slumber. Calling me for the quiet moment of peace and warmth. As my body floats in the air and my mind fades in and out I hear a scream. A shriek. A cry for help.

What the hell.

This shouldn't be happening! Seven years of being careful is going down the drain. No, no, no.

"Matthew wake up now. It's me Feliciano. Why did you do this to yourself? We were suppose to go to the park and paint with Lovino," the Italian country wails. Crap I forgot, I was so caught up in myself that I forgot about my painting date with Feli and Lovino. I'm so freaking selfish. I try to open my eyes but they have grown to heavy.

" My baby!" A British voice cuts through my mind.

"Mon petit Mathieu!" A French voice yells.

"Mattie!" The perfection cries out. I someone lifts me out of the tub and rests me on the bathroom floor.

" Oh bloody hell there's so much. Francis there's too much. Francis my baby!"

" Italy go call 911. Alfred go and get some sheets to stop the bleeding. Arthur mon cher calm down I can't have you passing out right now."

All hell breaks out and I'm still trying to open my eyes. I feel pressure on my left arm and now on my right.

"Francis it's soaking through the sheets. That's too much blood! No country has bled so much!" The British man continues to panic. I hear sirens and someone running down the stairs. Before I can properly put two and two together I someone once again picks me up and lay me on something stiff. I let out a tiny weep and everyone and everything stops. I try and finally manage to open my eyes and I become horrified by what comes into my view.

Blood is all over the floor and tub also my French papa and Feliciano are soaked in blood. My British dad eyes are red and puffy while tears continue flowing down. And my perfect brother. Oh Alfred he too has my blood smeared on him and I see pain, fear, and sadness on his face. I flinch and try to move my hand to reach out for him but something is really wrong. Really wrong. A panic feeling wrack through my body.

I...I can't move.

My eyes widen on this discovery. My mind shuts down and the pressure from earlier makes its appearance again. I try to move again but I am once again shot down by my muscles. Oh god I'm paralysed! I make cries of frustration as I continuously try to move my body. I'm not being restrained but it feels like it. Hot burning tears begin to flow down my cheeks. No if I'm paralysed I won't be able to get any relief. I begin to hyperventilate as my panic becomes more feverish. Fear immediately shows on my family and Feli's faces but I ignore it. Something has to move. SOMETHING! Please oh god something. A strangle scream erupts from my mouth and I lash out some more. Nothing won't move.

"He's having a panic attack," someone yells. I feel my arms and legs being restrain but that makes me feel more scared. Get off of me I need to move my body! I panic even more and more strangled screams echoes in my house.

"I-I...I-m...p-paral-lysed...K-kill M-mee!** K-killl m-ee**," I manage to choke out. I don't hear anything any more, I don't even notice my dad picking me up and resting me on his lap. I don't hear one of the paramedics telling my dad to put me down. No I continue to jerk and cry.

"Matthew, you're okay," a soothing British voice tells me. I feel another pair of arms wrap around my restless body.

" Oui mon petit, you're okay. You can move," a French voice tells me. I feel gentle, light circles rub on my back. My screams begin to grow quieter. Now replace with tiny shrieks.

"You're safe in you're papa and my arms. Oh darling you're safe. We're right here. Everything is okay," dad continues to tell me. I feel myself being rock back and forth and my screams stops completely.

"That's a good boy. See you're okay mon petit. Papa and dad are protecting you. You're just fine, okay," papa tells me. The room is so quiet, all I hear is nervous breathing but I don't pay attention to them.

" Okay young lad look to daddy."

I don't and I feel a gentle hand touch my face.

"Matthew look at me now," the voice comes out a bit more stern. I turn my head gently to see green eyes threatening to cry again. "That's a good lad, look you just moved. You're not paralysed."

"Oui mon petit now you're going to go to a place where they're going to stop your hands from bleeding , okay honey? Now nod if you understand."

I nod gently and I feel myself place back on the stiff mattress. I turn my head gently to look at the people who just notice me after so long. Do you care now because you feel guilty or is it all a show? I stare at them for a while longer but my eyes once again grows to heavy. Before I knew it I fell into a dreamless slumber.

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**GAH I'm in a depressing mood so I created this. Another chapter? Yes or no? Comment your answer and I won't write the next chapter unless I have at the minimum of 12 comments saying yes. I know that's mean but hey. Oh yea HAPPY FATHER"S DAY! Even though probably no fathers would read this...**

**Anyway goodnight everyone. It's my last week of exams YAYAYAYAYAYAY! *parents shoot me***

**"Shut up it's almost 11 in the night! Go to damn bed!" **

***Silently whispers* yayayayayayayayayayay! Night everyone wish me luck on my last exams!**

**Thanks for commenting, faving, and also just reading this. THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH!**


	2. The Big Bad Three

**I had to finally put this up because I got my 12 reviews. Thank you guys. I'm now aiming for another 12 reviews. I know I'm cruel. ANY CHOCOLATE PIE still depressed...so I don't any hetalia characters but the made up ones I own. Today's my cousin birthday yayay so I wish her an awesome one! Anyway please enjoy the crap of a chapter! **

**Ladies and few male population please enjoy the second chapter of Perfection.**

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_"Why oh why do you have to be such a tease Matthew?" I feel the air leave my throat as the tall man comes closer to me._

_"What do you mean ?" I ask nervously. I look at my history teacher with fear and I shake a bit as he lightly rubs his finger against my face. My body gives off the age of a ten year old but I'm really older. My dads always tell me that we're different from other people. That we're representatives of our countries that we born in, but I was told not to tell anyone about it. It's too dangerous for my family and I. I was born on the border along with my twin brother. He was born on the American side while I was born on the Canadian side. So I represent Canada. My cousins Feliciano and Lovino are countries too. Their Italy's representatives but that's not important right now. What's important is that my history teacher from the private academy I go to is trailing his fingers down my spine._

_"You're always acting so cute in class. The way you cutely nibble on your pencil when you come pass a difficult question. But the thing that drives me is the fact that you're easy. Very, very easy," he trails off slight as his hand lands on my butt._

_"Y-you shouldn't be t-touching me there. My p-parents told me not to let a-a-anyone touch me l-like this," I stutter. He gropes my butt painfully and I let out a cry. He smirks and drags his hand to the front of my body. My breath hitches when he touches my penis through my pants._

_"P-please don't t-touch me t-there," I quietly beg. He looks at me with a dark and cruel smile. I feel my heart drop. He was always so nice to me. He made me feel smart, happy, noticed. Why is he doing this to me? Why? I feel tears fall down from my eyes and my begs come out faster and desperate._

_"Please I-I'm begging you. P-please stop!" My voice cracks as he pinches my nipple. "Ahh," I cry out in pain. His smile grows wider and he continuously pinches both of my nipples. The tears fall down faster and I begin to panic._

_"Help! Help!" I scream out. I open my mouth to cry out again when my face snaps to the side. A loud audible crack fills the room and the echoes bounces off the classroom walls. My cheek immediately radiates heat and searing pain burns from the contact. I feel something warm and sticky begin to fall down my cheek and some of it falls into my open mouth. A metallic taste fills itself onto my taste buds. My heart beats faster and fear rushes through my mind and body. I slowly reach my hand up and touch my face, I wince a little when my hand touches my cheek. My vision blurs and I turn my head towards the man._

_"Don't you dare try to call for help little worthless piece of shit," he hisses to me. My mind blanks as I stare into his dark black eyes. He then pins my arms above my head and begins to strip me from my school uniform. His actions doesn't register into my mind until my legs feel a cold breeze. Oh god. I want to call for help but the janitors are the only ones who are in the school and they're on the other end of it too. My brother left for home an hour ago and Feliciano and Lovino had an appointment. Their grandfather picked them up in the middle of third period. I'm all alone. My stomach twist and tears fall faster._

_His grip tightens around my hands and I let out a quiet whimper. He chuckles darkly and whips me hard onto a desk. He bends me over so that my stomach is on top of the cool surface and my butt is wide open and screwable. I want to scream but I stop short, scared that he'll hit me again this time not so lightly. Or worst he...OH GOD! OW! OW!_

_"OWWW! Mmphhh-" my cry is quickly covered by his free hand. Pain uncontrollable, hot, burning mind-splitting pain rushes from my butt up my spine. When did he pull down his pants? Ow the pain, the pain! He groans loudly and bask in the warmth of my butt. Before I can adjust to him he pounds inside of me harder and merciless. He's too big, it hurts too much. My world momentarily darkens but I'm quickly awake when he pushes himself deeper inside of me. I scream into his hand wishing that someone would save me. His speed slowly picks up and he bites into my shoulder. Please stop it hurts! My head begins to pound and it starts to spin. Stop! Stop! Stop! He starts to get frantic and he pounds harder and faster into me. I cum on to the table and he laughs. _

_"Oh you naughty little boy, your slut of a body enjoys me slamming into you," he says in a crazed voice. I cry and cry as he finally finishes up. I feel cum fill my body in a sickening way and he rides it out. After his breathing calms down he takes himself out of me. _

_"My dear darling Matthew if you tell anyone what I have done to you don't you dare think I will not kill you,"he says with a dark smile. I turn around and I stare at him and watch as he puts back on his pants. He smiles once more._

_"Oh yes make sure you come back on Friday and tell everyone that it's for tutoring. Okay my child?"He tells me. I nod slightly and just like the wind he leaves silently. I push myself off of the desk and cry out in pain. I cripple on to the floor and look in between my leg. Blood and cum leaks down my legs._

_"Oh god," I stare. My head spins as my young body throbs with pain. A scream erupts from my tiny chest._

"Mathieu wake up! Mathieu!"

"Matthew lad wake up!"

My eyes shoots open and I sit up on the bed way too fast. I gasp as my world momentarily darkens and I fall backwards back onto the bed.

" Crap world spinning. World is spinning," I groan. I quickly grab a hold of head as if it will stop everything from spinning. I feel someone touch my cheek and a wave of panic courses through my vein. I slap away the hand and hold my shoulders as they shake hysterically.

" Don't touch me you evil manipulative bastard!" I scream. The air in the room grows heavy and I calm down quickly. I look up to see Alfred look at me with confusion and hurt. My throat goes dry and I start to cry like the wuss I am.

"I'm so sorry Alfred, I t-thought you were the person in m-my dream. E-eh," There is that damn annoying verbal tick. Ever since the first time my teacher raped me I developed it. It always happen when I'm nervous or scared and it's annoying as hell. I hiccup and the tears come down faster.

"I-I thought. E-Eh. And y-you were. I-I'm sorry. H-he and Y-you. E-eh, I-I'll just shut up now, eh," I sound like an idiot. I let out a sob and hide back under the covers and my sobs grow louder. Damn you ! Damn you for what you have done to me. For stealing my happiness and security in myself! For making me grow up to fast! I try to get a grip but I can't stop. I close my eyes but his evil smirk pops up behind my eyelids and I let out a panic shriek.

I feel someone lift me up and the sheets fall from around my face. I stare face to face with my papa. My body shakes and I try to escape him but sadly he has a good grip on me.

"Mathieu what was that all about?" He asks me quietly. I look into his eyes and swiftly look away. I feel his eyes burn through me and I shake badly again.

"Francis stop that you're scaring the poor thing," dad says angrily. He reaches out for me but my papa quickly stops him.

"Mon cher I have a bad feeling about this so called bad dream," he tells my dad. I stop shaking and I feel all the blood in my body freeze up. Oh god he might have figure it out. Before I can try to get out of his hands there is a soft knock at the door and a young nurse comes in. She momentarily freezes and a small smile appears on her round face.

"Oh you're awake Mr. Kirkland-Bonnefoy! You have guests," she moves to the side and in comes in the last three people in the world I would want to see. The bully, the abusive ex, and the rapist teacher. Well it seems someone wants me dead. Or to go to hell. I stare at the three and they stare back at me. The nurse then nods and leaves. Does she want me to commit suicide right now in front of my family?

" Matthew we heard about what happened to you and we were really worried," Mr. Smithers lies to me. I stare at him and nod mechanically.

"I'm sorry for worrying you guys e-eh," I stutter. I force myself to calm down but on the inside it feels like all hell is going to break loose soon. The abusive ex speaks to me next.

"We immediately came to check up on you and see if you were alright," Justin tells me. I dig my nails into my skin when they come a little closer to me. I remember that I'm hooked up to the heart monitor so I force myself to not panic. For my safety...

"Since we've been friends since grade seven I had to come over," Mark the bully says with a fake kind smile. I can see the feral look in all their eyes. I look at them and open my mouth but I close it quickly after that. The air is quiet for a couple of seconds then I finally say something. I choose my word very, very carefully.

"Thanks for being concern over me but you really don't have too. Please you don't have too." My throat gets scratchy and I cough harshly into my hand. I shudder a bit and fall backwards into my papa's arms. All energy disappearing from me. I close my eyes for a quick second and open them to see Justin's face too close to comfort in front of me. I let out a little squeak and look at him.

"Don't do that y-you scared me e-eh,"I tell him but on the inside I want to tell to back the fuck away from me.

"Matt you look so pale, like sickly pale not your usual pale," he informs me. His comment stabs me right through the heart and once again I find my mind comparing myself to Alfred. Damn it all!

"Well I do feel sick maybe that's why..."my mind blanks for a moment. What was I going to say? I stare off into space as I try to figure out what I was going to say and I feel a cold hand touch my forehead. I shiver and back away from it. "Cold..." I say to no one in particular.

"Mon petit you're burning up. You should rest,"Papa says. I blink back to reality and I look up at him. Papa is not even giving me the day of time, he's staring down the other three.

"Well I guess that's our cue to leave my boys. Hope you feel better -Bonnefoy," he says to me. He gives me a smile and I feel my stomach drop. The other two grudgingly say their goodbyes and they all leave. I let out a breath a didn't know I was holding and I close my eyes. There was way too much tension in the room earlier.

"Mathieu what are you hiding?"

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**Yay it's done. Thank you to the people who commented and faved, and alert my story. I hope to put up the next chapter soon but on friday I have to go on a trip so those 12 review better come in fast because I won't be able to update in a week. ANY PIE ciao for now. Happy birthday cousin!**


	3. Separating

**Hey guys I'm back from my vacation trip so I'm sorry that this is a week late.**_  
_

**This chapter was kinda hard to write because my best friend was in an abusive relationship. So I'm going to say this you can disregard it and skip the long paragraph but please don't.**

**If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship please tell someone or even better an adult you trust because not only are you saving yourself but you might be saving someone else's life. It's important that people speak up about this situation and not keep it to themselves. I nearly lost my best friend who is like my younger sister (I'm a few months older than her) because it took me awhile to fess up. Please I beg you not to ignore this and please speak up. Because you voicing something like this and telling an adult because they can help. I really mean it. They may hate your guts for awhile but later on they will thank you. Thank you to the people who read this and not ignore it. Also I would like to applaud the people who read this and told someone or an adult or who already told someone or an adult about a situation like this because what you did is strong and takes a lot of courage. Your friend or yourself will deeply appreciate what you have done. Thanks for reading this because it is something I strongly support.**

**Any chocolate pie off of depressing stuff. Hey I'm not depressed anymore. Nope that Vacation really gave me some pep. Also there was some really hot Canadian guys (YESH I'M SO GLAD I'M CANADIAN! HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MATTHEW! oh yea you to Alfred...GAH IT FEELS GOOD TO BE CANADIAN!) Yeah I really cheered up. Anyway thankies for the comments, favs, and alerts.**

**Ladies and gently men the third chapter of Perfection**

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_A single tear rolls down my cheek as I look at my boyfriend. Justin's eyes reflect anger and frustration. I feel my mind fade black a bit but I force myself to stay awake. He would punch me again if I pass out. I struggle to stand up but I fall back down._

_"What a pathetic sight," he hisses under his breath. I wince and I try to hold back the dam that wants to break in my eyes. His comments hurt more than his slaps and punches. I look up and stare into his dark brown eyes. _

_"I'm so sorry I didn't mean to break the cup. I-I tripped," I whisper. Fear fills my body. Any normal person would have gotten up and left or scream for help. But not me, I've learn the hard way with my history teacher. Also I'm so use to this. I've been dating him for almost two years. He tells me that he loves me and so I believe him. Even though he goes and cheat on me. Even though he beats me up. Even though he has sex with me when I tell him not to. B-but he loves me. He...loves me. Right? This is how love is suppose to feel like._

_"Oh you tripped."_

_" Yes-s and my r-right ankle hurts. E-eh." His eyes grow darker and his scowl gets more frightening. _

_"Oh really well I'll teach you pain," he says quietly. What does he mean by that. He walks and clears the last bit of space in between us. A small smile forms on his face and I feel the blood rush out of my face. Oh n- Blinding pain shoots from my ankle. He stomps on it again and I feel the bones crack. I hastily cover my mouth and try to hold in my screams. His parents are downstairs in the kitchen cleaning up the glass shards from the cup I accidentally dropped. After he stomps on my ankle a couple more times I remove my hand from my mouth. Blood drips slowly down my hand from the bite marks._

_"You worthless piece of shit. More pathetic then your idiot of a brother," he scowls. Something in my mind snaps. He can criticize me but Alfred. Perfect Alfred. Oh no he pass the line. I push myself up off the floor and hobble over to his bedroom door. _

_"Where the hell do you think you're going?" He snarls at me. I reach for his doorknob and turn it. I wince at the throbbing pain my ankle is giving off but I suck it up. I have to get the hell out of this house. I turn my head and look at him. No I didn't just look at him I stare him into his eyes._

_"It's over. You can badmouth me but my brother is another story. He didn't even do anything to you so you shouldn't criticize him. Don't bother saying you love me because I'm not going to buy it," I huff out. Oh course it came out quiet because I'm so use to talking to him in a whisper. His face turns from angry to pissed off in one second. He takes huge strides towards me and punches me hard on the cheek and he also punches me hard in the stomach. I gasp and little dots dance in front of my eyes. _

_"You damn man whore. You're nothing without me and you want to say you're the one leaving me. Fine leave me I don't damn need you. You fucking man whore. Get the hell out of my room and house. Oh yeah I never fucking liked you or loved you, you're so motherfucking easy. Oh yeah shit for brains you're ugly, fat and so damn stupid. Jesus you're so damn passive I'm surprised that it took me fucking insulting your cheeseburger for brains brother for you to stand up for yourself. It's so sad. It was fun walking all over you." He pushes me out of his room and I fall hard on the ground. I grab my stomach and wheeze. Crap I don't need an asthma attack right now. I push myself up off the ground tumble down the stairs. My ankle screams for me to get off of it. I fight the tears and slip into my shoes. I'm so glad I decided to wear flip flops today. He didn't have to go that far. He didn't have to tell me those painful words. A ache appears in my chest and I know that I need to relief the pain. I knew I was being used but- but he didn't have to be so cruel about it._

_"Matthew you're leaving?" Mrs. Springfield asks me. I nod and hide my face with my long hair. Thank heaven that I have long curly hair like papa. _

_"Yeah, uhh I won't be visiting any more Mrs. Springfield. Justin and I just broke up e-eh. So I'll just l-leave now," I leave as quickly as a beaten up guy can. I hear Mrs. Springfield call out for my name but I ignore it. I hear her yell for Justin and I know that on Monday Justin's going to get revenge for me making his mom upset with him. After I rush out in pain and walk down the street I look around. It's probably minutes after nine. I limp down the street and pass the park I first discovered that I loved Alfred. He proclaimed that day that he would be my hero and protect me whenever I called for help. I don't pay attention and I trip over some random basketball someone left and fall hard onto the cement. _

_"Ow!" I cry out. That's it, that's just fucking it. I begin to cry and when I mean cry I mean ugly, snot everywhere cry. I don't notice a group of people come towards me. _

_"Mattie are you okay what's wrong with your ankle...Matthew why the hell do you look like someone beat you up?" Alfred asks me with worry dripping in his voice. Lair you're not worried about me. You're probably embarrassed as hell in front of your friends. Your damn twin loser of a brother is on the ground looking like a pathetic moron in front of your "perfect" friends, when we both know that they're just a bunch of douches. I know that I'll probably heal in the matter of days because I'm a country but that doesn't stop the pain. I look into his eyes._

_I cry but I only cry because of the physical pain. I didn't cry for all the pain I'm being put through. The emotional pain. No that's a pain I can't cry about, ever._

"Mathieu?" Papa calls out to me. I groan as my stomach turns in a painful way. I wrap my hands around his neck and grip him tightly. I would never do this if I wasn't caught but I'm going to bask in the fact that I'm being noticed.

"Ahh papa m-my stomach hurts," I say quietly. I hear dad gasp and he quickly seats himself beside papa and I.

" Francis turn him towards me," he instructs papa. He gently turns me towards dad and dad touches my forehead.

"Oh bloody hell Matthew your burning up," he gasps. A moan escapes my mouth. Dad reaches for me and takes me out of papa's arms. He tenderly eases me back under the covers. He kisses me on top my head and pulls back. He softly moves a strand out of my hair.

"Don't worry my boy you'll be fixed like brand spanking new in a jiffy," he says to me with a weak smile. I giggle while Alfred chuckles.

"What's so funny?" he asks.

"Umm dad no one uses jiffy any more. Brand spanking new, dear god," Alfred answers. He snickers and my giggle gets worst until it hurts my stomach badly.

"Ow, ow I need to stop giggling. I sound so girly and it hurts my stomach a lot ow," I say through giggles and gasps for breath. I finally calm down and hold my stomach with a tiny smile.

"The pain is worth it for the laugh though," I say I look up to see three faces giving me encouraging smiles. An itch in my throat causes me to cough and it ruins the smiles. I cough harshly while dad rubs circles on my back.

"Matthew rest while your papa and I go talk with the doctor. Alfred you stay with your brother," dad tells us. I feel my world shake. Me and Alfred alone. Together. I gulp and nod slightly while Alfred gives a firm nod. When the two leaves the room Alfred gets up off the seat he was sitting in, crosses the room, and lays down beside me on his stomach on the bed.

" Like frenchie dad asked earlier Mattie. What are you hiding and don't you dare try lying to me because I know when you're lying," Alfred says sternly. I look at him to see a serious face looking at me. I've seen Alfred's serious face before but they're rare. Usually he's always smiling even when he really doesn't want to smile. I cock my head to the side and blink.

"Alright I'm hiding the fact that...that...I think my asthma is getting worst," I proclaim. That's not a complete lie so he can't say nothing. He gives me that don't-fucking-believe-for-a-second-that-I'm-going-to-buy-that-shit-of-an-excuse look. I hold up my hands and look at him.

"It's true," I re inform him.

"Mattie you know that's not what I mean."

"Then I don't know what you're talking about."

"Matthew Jean-Pierre Kirkland-Bonnefoy you better stop this stupidness and tell me what the fuck is bothering you. For fucking sake you have us worried about you and all you do is shut yourself off from us. We want to help you because we love you." I feel my heart wrench.

"Well Alfred Franklin Kirkland-Bonnefoy you and the rest of the family don't really care or love me. Hell you just noticed me because I freaking tried to kill myself. I bet you that you guys are pretending to worry but by the time we get home you'll forget all about me." He stares at me with shock. The room is silent for awhile.

"Matthew we never stopped loving you and we definitely notice you. You stopped coming to us, talking to us. You grew quieter than your usual self and everyday you get more and more quiet. One day you were laughing and playing with us and the very next day you didn't want anyone of us coming near you. We knew that you were hiding something but we gave you space thinking that you'll tell us when you're ready. Do you know how worried our dads are. They actually wanted me urge you into talking but every time I came near you. You...you give me a look and try to distance yourself from me. Mattie we want to help you not hurt you. If you didn't notice you were the one who was trying to separate from us not the other way around. Hell Mattie I'm worried about you as well." I let this all sink in. He's surely lying to me but when I force myself to look into his eyes, a sinking feeling told me that everything that he just said is true.

Tears sting my eyes and I quickly turn so that my back is facing Alfred. That day when Mr. Smithers raped me. That day is when I started to separate myself from everyone. I grew so scared of people coming near me. May it be male or female I fear getting hurt. Oh god and I thought I was hiding this without anyone realizing.

"I-I'm really tired. I'm going to sleep."

"Mattie don't think for a second that this conversation is over."

"Fine but would you at least let me sleep?"

"Fine." He says quietly. I feel a jab in my heart but I ignore it. No I can't give in.

"Mattie I angry at myself for stopping but I'll say it. I love you and remember I'm the hero so I'll always come to help you if you ask me." The memory of us at the park echoes in my head. He said those words to me eight years ago and he's saying them to me again now.

"Well if I call for help Alfie. I don't know if you'll be able to fix me." I whisper.

"Then just let me try or dad or frenchie. Please." He begs. I don't answer him and I close my eyes.

"Mattie." he quietly calls out. I let out a believable snore and I hear him sigh. He hesitantly wraps an arm around me and my heart starts to beat faster but I force it to calm down. The comforting warmth he gives off makes my eyes droopy and I find myself really falling asleep. Before I knew it I fall into another dream.

**Alfred**

****All I feel is pain. Pain that I witness my brother almost die. Pain that he's hiding something and not telling me. He used to always tell me everything. And pain when I saw the fear in his eyes when the pedo teacher (who wouldn't stop talking and touching my Mattie during class), motherfucker ex boyfriend (thank god Matthew dumped his ass. I never liked him, he had this dangerous possessive personality.), and that damn guy who I don't know what relationship he has with Mattie. All I know is that he's definitely not a friend of Mattie. (I really don't like him.)

"Mattie I love you. I really, really do," I whisper in to his ear quietly. I pull him closer to me and I hear him sigh softly. I love you but I don't know if I should be loving you like this.

* * *

**Yay it's done. I'm sorry that I didn't write this and post this sooner. I went on vacation trip to a resort and my laptop was being a mega douche and kept on shutting down me. So I gave up. I have to give it to my uncle so that he can fix that evil thing. So ya if nobody noticed I was gone for a week. *crickets chirp* Yeah I guess nobody noticed or even care. *Sad face* Well I stayed up late so that I can finish this and put it up. Thanks everyone for the comments, alerts, and favourites I really appreciate it. Next chapter comes out after twelve more reviews. So I need 36 reviews. Yeah I'm evil. Well I better go to bed my dad ...is...actually...legit...giving...me...an...evil...glare...n-nite I'll edit...tomorrow. Or else my computer is going to ...get shut down. Night.**


	4. Mattie I'm serious

**Hey guys yea here's the next chapter. It was kinda hard to write this because I too was bullied. Sad face. But not anymore so I'm glad. Anyway I really hope that no one who's reading this is being bullied because I will feel awful if I'm bring up bad memories. I know for sure I was when I wrote this. Thanks for all the reviews, favs, and alerts. I wuv you guys.**

**Any chocolate pie I don't own Tylenol because I did I would be rich. I also don't own hetalia if I did I would be praised every day every second...sooo yea I don't own it.**

**Anyway Ladies and few boy population who reads this I give chapter four of Perfection! * waits for applause* *cricket chirps***

**I'm so pathetic. *runs dramatically to a corner and cries* **

* * *

Okay_ so here is the escape route for getting out of the school alive. Once Mr. Smithers is is not looking I'll ease out of my chair. Usually around this time he will pick up his book and look for something. I patiently wait until he picks up his ancient old book that he always reads before the bell rings. My head pounds harshly against my skull but I ignore it. I have grown to ignore pain in my body. All day I had to deal with this and all I want to do is go home and take two Tylenol for it. I look at the clock and watch the clock hand warn me that I have exactly two minutes that I can't fuck up. I pick my back pack strap up but keep it in hidden view just in case Mr. Smithers looks up. I turn my head slightly and I see Alfred chatting with his douche football friends. I watch Alfred laugh and before I knew it my attention is all his. Walk up Matthew you can't fuck up the escape route. I turn my head back to the clock and realize that I have fifteen seconds. I stare at the clock and bring the bag closer to my shoulder._

_Five. The strap is on my shoulder._

_Four. I slowly easing myself off the chair. _

_Three. I slightly standing._

_Two. I pick up the pencil, I was using to look like I was doing something._

_One. I fully standing up._

_Zero. Brrrringg! I'm gone. _

_I run through the door before anyone can bother look up. I run down the hallway and make a hard left. I slow down when I'm close to the principal and when I'm out of his view I race down the hallway again. I feel my chest constrict and I know if I'm not careful I can give myself an asthma attack but I don't give two shit. I make a right and I stop. I hide behind a wall and look at my locker. Nobody is by it. Okay that's a bad, bad sign. With one more glance around the area I run to my locker and quickly as I can I open my lock. _

_I rip the door open and shove all my homework into my bag. I wince a bit from the loud noise I make and my head pounds harder in my head. After I speedily rush, I slam my locker close and latch on the lock again. I see a few people look my way giving me a weird looks but I don't care. I have to get out this building now or else he'll get to me. I quickly zip up my bag and make a run for it. I should go through the front doors. Wait, but last time he was there waiting for me. I'll take the east doors, but I really think I should go through the front. I sigh and head towards the east doors, oh well. Once I reach the doors I look both ways and ease myself outside. _

_I let a nervous sigh and I'm about to make a run for it when strong, built arms grab me from behind. Ow my head. Damn it I already had to deal with him during lunch and before the morning bell! Why hell can't he give me a break?_

_"You idiot you thought you can escape so easily?"_

_Damn it all._

_"Mark p-please let me go. I-I'm really tired and d-drained today e-eh." I stutter. I turn my head to look into menacing dark, greenish brown eyes. _

_" Aww isn't that cute, you actually think I care. Now stop your bitching and take your beatings like a man. Oh whoops my bad like the faggot you are," he growls to me. What the hell did I do to him for me to become his victim. I watch as a few people look my way, and when they realize I'm looking at them, they scrunch their faces and turn their heads pretending they don't see anything. _

_Are you serious? I'm going to get beaten up and you people act like you don't see shit. I feel a fist punch me hard in my stomach and I gasp for air. Oh god that hurt, and that's going to hurt even more tomorrow morning. _

_"Pay fucking attention when I'm talking to you, you son of a bitch," he yells into my ear. I look back at him and see pure hatred. What did I seriously do to deserve this. Someone tell me why and I'll change my ways. Just make my hell on earth stop. He pulls me up to his face and looks me in the eyes. _

_"I don't like you. I hate fucking homos. I don't like your brother. You look a lot like your brother so you get his beatings in replace for him. Why don't you go and kill yourself. Or even better let me put you out of your misery," he hisses into my ear. Of course he'll take it all out on me. He punches me roughly in the stomach, and pushes me hard into the concrete floor. Ever since he nearly got caught by a teacher he rarely beats up my face. I gasp for air as he pushes a lot of his weight on my chest._

_" Your a fucking excuse for a man. You don't even look like one. You look like a freaking girl but sadly for you, you have guy parts so there is nothing stopping my from beating you up," he slams me hard onto the concrete again, "I swear what fuckward would want you? You're so pathetic and useless. You're a fucking freak of nature. Everything you touch turns into crap. You think you're soo good at drawing and writing. Who the fuck feeds you that shit. Don't even think for second that you're good. Honestly I'm surprise that your parents don't regret giving birth to you."_

_I shake as he continues to rant about me. He continues to slam me hard onto the ground and with each slam I feel myself loose more air. I gasp for air and try to ignore the stinging sensation in my eyes. I can't cry or else it'll satisfy him._

_**Cry damn it. How much longer are you going to last before you pass out from lack of oxygen or cry from the excruciating pounding in your head.**  
_

_I ignore my concious and hold back my tears. He'll soon grow bored of me. He always does. He slams me extremely hard and I gasp for air. I feel my throat restrict and I gasp for air. Crap not now. I try to push Mark off of me but he's so damn heavy. I gasp for air and I feel tears finally escape my eyes. He leans a bit off of me and I see fear in his eyes. I don't care, I really don't right now. All I want is to be able to breathe._

**Or don't even bother try to breathe. No one cares if you die. Not your family, or this bastard on top of you.**

**_Or you can scare the living shit out of a teacher!_  
**

_That dark voice in my head fights with my concious and I still struggle to breathe. Mark slowly gets up off of me and he leaves me. He turns into the parking lot and enters his car. Oh thanks bitch you won't even get a teacher. I continue gasp for air like a fish out of water. Crap I look for my bag and see it couple of meters away from me. Are you fucking serious! Seriously. I cough and the edges of my vision blurs. _

_" Holy shit Matthew!"_

_Alfred..._

_ I'm really torn between loving you and hating you right now. Thank you for finding me and why the hell did it have to be you to find me looking like this. _

_A particular hard gasp has white dots dancing in front of me. I feel Alfred push me up into a sitting position and he puts my emergency inhaler into my mouth. He pushes the top and I feel a sprit of medication enter my mouth. I force myself to deeply inhale the substance and we stay in this position for a couple a seconds. After I feel like I can breathe I push the inhaler out of my mouth. I feel blood rush up to my face and I put a hand to my forehead. _

_My headache is officially a migraine. I rub my temples and try to soothe the beast in my head. I slowly turn my embarrassed as hell face to Alfred . I look into his eyes for a second and look back down. _

_"Thanks" I say hoarsely. _

_"Are you okay? How the hell did you get an asthma attack? Why the hell was your bag so far away from you? Were you running?"_

_"Alfred breathe. I just have a fucking migraine now. God it was a headache but it turned into a beast. Remember it's fall so it's quite easy for me to have an asthma attack. My bag was far away because I took it off. Yes I was running because I was almost off school property when I remembered I had to grab something out of my locker and then I ran back out because the janitors were giving me a glare." I say in one breath. I look up at Alfred and gives me a look. Something flashes behind Alfred and I look past him. I stop breathing. _

_I stare at Mr. Smithers. He looks at me and mouths something to me. _

**"Because you escaped me this Friday next Friday it'll be double the pain."**_  
_

_I feel all the blood drain from my body._**  
**

_"Mattie...Mattie..._

Mattie...Mattie! Matthew!" I stop thrashing around and screaming and open my eyes. Where am I? I look around and my memory comes flooding back into my mind. I look to see Alfred's face looking at me with the same worry that dream Alfred had. Dad crying again and holding onto papa. And a doctor ready to give me a shot. With two nurses behind him. I keep a neutral face on but I feel the tears . I swipe my arm across my eyes to catch and stop anymore from falling.

"Idiot it's only a memory. You're not living it. Honestly how pathetic can you be?" I say quietly to myself. I bite my lip and continue to insult myself. I don't realize that I said those words out loud, so I move my hand from my eyes. I let out a tired cough and rub the back of my neck. I look forward and actually take in the situation I'm in. Actually I really take a good look at the needle.

"Gah! W-what are y-you going t-to do with that n-needle e-eh?" I stutter. They continue to stare at me.

" E-ehhh... P-please don't tell me t-that, that t-thing is for m-me?" I ask but more like beg. The doctor blinks and shakes his head.

"Oh aha no, no it's not for you. Well actually that's a lie it was for you but you seem to have calm down now. So you won't be needing this," he says. I just nod and continue to stare at the needle that is still in his hand. One of the nurses realizes that I'm still eyeing the needle really hard and she takes it away from the doctor and leaves. I silently thank her and fall back into my pillows. I let out a shaky breath that I didn't know I was holding and I run my shaky hand through my hair. I close my eyes and continue to let out some more shaky breaths.

" I'm sorry I had a bad dream," I say quietly to them, "more like dreaming about hell on earth again," I hiss thinking that they didn't catch that part. I feel someone staring a hole into me and I cautiously open my eyes to see Alfred over top of me, right in my face. His face screams 'tell-me-what-the-fuck-is-wrong!'. I stare right back at him.

" Hiya thank you for coming to Matthew's personal space. How may I help you? Would you like a burger, coke, coffee,fries, get the hell out of my personal space, a milkshake, or a get the hell out of my personal space? I really suggest the get the hell out of my personal space it's rather good. But ya know, ya know that's just my opinion. But please consider the Get the Flipping Hell out of My Personal Space. Thank you please come again."

His eye twitches. I turn my head and laugh.

"Matthew, I'm going to ask this again what the hell is wro-"

"OH you're still here. Would you like another get the hell out of my personal space. It's particularly good."

"Matthew!" Alfred growls in a dangerous voice.

* * *

**Hey guys thanks for reading this and commenting! I really appreciate this. You know the deal 12 more reviews and you'll get an update. So I need 48 reviews in total. Any chocolate pie thank you again for reading this stupid awful story. Well really crap of a story. Yeah because I love you guys and my computer deleted my other updates for my other stories I have finished writing this for you guys because alot of the comments kept on saying that their hating the waiting...sorry my computer was being a jerk. If you're also waiting for updates on my other stories I apologize because I was about to update but my computer did something weird and it deleted my updates. So I have to rewrite them. Sorry please forgive me! I didn't forget them I promise. If you didn't read my other stories please I beg of you to check them out. I wrote a couple of smuts and I need to some people to comment and see if their any good. Also I have a few other stories out.**

**Thank you a million for reading crap! thank you!**


	5. I'm almost free

**I don't own hetalia. If you listen 'How to love' by lil wayne you will cry! CRY I SAY!**

* * *

After_ Connor cums in me he eases himself out of me. I feel so awful, so used, why the hell did I do it. Oh yea because he said that I was beautiful, and that he loved me. Even though we both know that he doesn't even care. His cell phone rings and he reaches for it._

_"Hello. Yea hey...No I wasn't doing anything important... Sure I'll come. Ya give me fifteen minutes. Ok bye." Ouch you tell me that you love me then you tell your friend that you weren't doing anything important. Connor looks at me and gives me a sheepish grin. _

_"Ahh my friend call. Ya I got to go."_

_" It's okay. I don't mind." I say quietly with a fake smile. He flashes me a smile and rushes out of bed. He slips into his clothes and without a second thought left. _

_Pain fills me. Why do I keep on setting myself up for pain. I know this was going to happen yet I still let his do it._

**Because you're a slut whose grown addicted to people lying and saying that they love you.**

_Damn this dark voice in me. I feel used and abandon. I don't know how much more I can take._

I wake up with a start to see my family still here but asleep, but I don't care the pain in my chest is squeezing my throat shut. The horrible feeling of being used, kicked around and abandon. Seven years of pain fills my body and I don't know how much more I can take.

That's a lie.

I can't take it anymore.

I feel Alfred move on me but I don't acknowledge him. There is too much pain and it's making it hard for me to breathe. I see him sit and rub his eye.

"Mattie what's wrong did you have another bad dream?" he asks me quietly. I don't answer him.

" Dad, pops wake up. Something is wrong with Mattie," Alfred says nervously. Both my dads start to stir and wake up.

"What was that Alfred?" dad asks Alfred.

"Something is wrong with Mattie," he repeats a bit more frantic. Dad and papa rushes over to me and look at me.

"Mathieu what's wrong?"

I can't take it anymore.

"I want to die." Silence fills the room.

"Matthew you don't mean that. Did you have a bad dream?" Dad ask me nervously. I let tears of seven years finally, finally fall.

"I mean it. I have been raped, abused, and beaten up. I have sold my body to so many people. I can barely sit through a history class anymore because my teacher raped and is still raping me. My ex boyfriend abused me and hates my guts. I've been constantly bullied by Mark to the point where I don't want to got school. I fell in love with the wrong person." The air is too quiet but I still continue. This needs to come out.

" Seven years ago raped me and it hurt like a bitch. I shouldn't even be telling you this because he told me that he'll kill me if I tell anyone. But now I don't even care. I want him to kill me. Justin only became my boyfriend because I'm so passive, but I dumped his ass when he insulted Alfred. Mark I don't know what the fuck is his problem all I know is that he enjoys beating the crap out of the homo. I'm sick of tired of having sex with people just for them to lie in my face and tell me that they love me, or that I'm beautiful, or shit like that. It hurts too much now. The over whelming pain that I can't escape. Every time I try to kill myself I can't because I'm a fucking country. I've been cutting myself for seven years. It was for punishment at first but I've now grown addicted to it. I'm not perfect like Alfred, no one cares about me because Alfred is the one everyone wants to be around. I'm just a mistake a horrible, horrible mistake. I wasn't suppose to be born I nearly killed dad when he gave birth to me. It was only Alfred who was suppose to be born." My voice gets more shaky as I speak, and the tears fall harder but I have let all out.

" I'm a monster. I'm ugly, impure, useless. I can't do shit and people can easily walk all over me. I want to die. I can't take the pain anymore. It's killing me on the inside. The fucking dark voice in my head keeps on telling me there's no point in living. And I finally agree with it. Just...ju-" I choke out. So much pain. It hurts so badly. Someone save me. I don't even realize that I'm shaking like crazy until I grab a hold of my shoulders. If anyone can hear me please I beg you to help me.

"I'm n-not even noticed. E-everyone is lying to m-me. No one cares about m-me." I hear my heart monitor go crazy but I ignore it. I didn't notice that the doctors have been standing there and listening to me rant for awhile now.

"My hell on earth is slowly killing me. So many times I've tried to escape. So many times. Alfred I told you if I asked for your help. I'll be too broken to be fixed. I am freaking broken. No one would love such an ugly sight." I let out the emotional pain that I tried to hide. I finally try to break away from the chains. The chains that holds weights of excruciating pain. More painful than the physical pain. Much more painful.

I cry.

I scream.

I beg for help.

I finally let out the seven years of pain.

What seems like eternity I give my hoarse throat a rest. Crap I'll probably have no voice later. I gasp for air and I finally notice my heart monitor is out of wack. I force myself to take deep breaths. I feel lighter, and much better but I'm still chained to the biggest weight. Will they push me away in disgust or pull me closer into their hearts?

I close my eyes and welcome the soothing darkness that doesn't want me to feel the pain. I don't care. A small smile grows on my face. I can finally rest in peace without fear constantly racking through my mind.

"I am almost free but would you hate me and put the weights back on me? Or will you love me and help me escape my hell on earth?"

* * *

**OH MY MAPLE I WAS FREAKING CRYING WHILE I WAS WRITING THIS!**

**12 more reviews...60 reviews in total...**

**I'm going to go cry in a corner because I let out so much years of torment on the internet, because sadly Mattie's story is mine in disguise...Oh god I feel the tears coming back...**

**Thank you DinosaurAttack! Thank you so much.  
**


	6. So close yet so far away

**I don't own hetalia... I wish I did. Anyway sorry it took me awhile check the A/N below to see why. Any chocolate pie!**

**Ladies and few male population (I know you guys are out there reading this!) I give to you Chapter 6 of Perfection!**

* * *

**Thoughts echoes in everyone's ears.**

**Alfred**

Anger. No blind rage courses through my body.

**_" I have been raped, abused, and beaten up."_**

I feel my blood boil.

**_"I have sold my body to so many people."_**

My stomach twists painfully.

**_"Seven years ago Mr. Smithers raped me and it hurt like a bitch."_**

I rip the blanket covering Mattie.

**_"My ex boyfriend abused me and hates my guts."_**

I stand up quickly and kick the chair that I was sitting on.

**_"I've been constantly bullied by Mark to the point where I don't want to go to school."_**

I bite back a scream. Mattie why did you not tell me? How dare they touch my Mattie? How dare they hurt my Mattie? How dare they? To MY Mattie!

**XXXXXX**

**Arthur**

******_" I have been raped, abused, and beaten up."_**

I feel my head get light headed.

**_"I have sold my body to so many people."_**

My son. My son! Tears slips out of my eyes.

**_"Seven years ago Mr. Smithers raped me and it hurt like a bitch."_**

His body age seven years ago was of a ten year old. A freaking ten year old! I get up but I collapse back on to the chair.

**_"My ex boyfriend abused me and hates my guts."_**

I sob loudly and watch Alfred kick the chair that he was sitting in.

**_"I've been constantly bullied by Mark to the point where I don't want to go to__ school."_**

My baby! Why didn't you tell us? We could have helped you.

_**"I'm just a mistake a horrible, horrible mistake. I wasn't suppose to be born I nearly killed dad when he gave birth to me. It was only Alfred who was suppose to be born."**_

No you weren't a mistake! You were a miracle. No! No! I love you. We love you! I let out a wail and grab Francis. What kind of father am I? I'm so stupid. So very stupid!

**XXXXX**

**Francis**

******_" I have been raped, abused, and beaten up."_**

My angel. Oh god. I grip my pant legs tightly.

**_"I have sold my body to so many people."_**

Oh non mon petit you shouldn't do that. All that does is bring you pain. I know that oh to well.

**_"Seven years ago Mr. Smithers raped me and it hurt like a bitch."_**

My mind spins. His body wouldn't be able to handle it at that age. His body was only ten. Ten fucking years old.

**_"My ex boyfriend abused me and hates my guts."_**

Hot angry tears falls from my eyes.

**_"I've been constantly bullied by Mark to the point where I don't want to go to__ school."_**

You stopped talking to us. You separated from us because you were scared.

_**"I'm just a mistake a horrible, horrible mistake. I wasn't suppose to be born I nearly killed dad when he gave birth to me. It was only Alfred who was suppose to be born."**_

You weren't a mistake. We love you so much. Mon cher wails out loudly and grips my shirt so hard that his knuckles turn white. I wrap my arms around him and watch Alfred fall to the ground and rip at his hair. Letting out pained sobs. Repeating Mattie over and over again. I should have pushed harder for Mathieu to open up. Tears just continue to silently fall down my cheeks. I've tried to protect my family throughout all these years. Where did I go wrong?

**XXXX**

**Matthew**

I wake up and look around. Wait something is off. I sit up to see that I'm in my room. Did I just dream all of that? I slowly slip out of bed and shiver as my bare feet touch the cold floor. I reach at my bed stand and put on my glasses. I look around and realize something. My art container has a lock on it. What the? I slowly walk towards it and reach for the lock. My slim girlish fingers make contact with the cool metal. Wait if this is locked...

I run into my closet and search. And search some more. My box with my raser blades. My knives. It's gone. My heart speeds and I try not to panic.

I lift my mattress. Nope.

I lift my loose floor board. Nothing.

I check the the top of my closet. Notta.

I search my whole room to find anything sharp missing. My body starts to shake. I rush to the bathroom. I always keep spares in there.

...Nothing...

I rush into the kitchen to see the cutlery drawer locked. It feels like my throat is closing. No! No what they hell is this sick nightmare?

I search the entire house and realize that everything that is sharp is locked away or put out of my reach. I walk back into the living room and my knees give out.

"What the hell is going on e-eh? W-why, why is everything locked? W-why!" I ask no one in particular.

"Because Mr. Kirkland- Bonnefoy we need to make sure that you don't try anything drastic." I turn around to see a woman with brunette hair and soft pink flowers in it give me a kind smile. Her crisp Hungarian accent fills the room. She cautiously walks over to me and crouches down so that we are face to face.

"Who are you?" I ask with bewilderment.

"I'm your therapist Dr. Elizaveta Héderváry but you can call me Elizaveta," she says kindly to me. My heart beats wildly.

"Wait, what, I don't understand," I let out a pathetic whimper. I look around for my invisible family. Did they decide to ditch me?

"Oh don't worry honey your family hasn't left you. They're just speaking to a lawyer right now they should be back in a few minutes. They decided to take you out of the hospital after you fell asleep. You were out for three days," she explains to me. I look at her and stare. A therapist...

"Are you a country?" I whisper. She looks at me and blinks rapidly. A shy smile appears on her face.

"Why yes of Hungary. I'm good friends with Francis and after I heard what happened I offered to help. Your family is really upset right now," she answers.

I continue to stare at her and before I can ask another question the front door opens.

"Elizaveta where are you? We're back!" I hear papa call out.

"In the living room," she calls back to him. My family walks in to see us. A calm expression on Elizveta's face and a confused look on mine.

"Mattie my baby," dad cries out, he rushes over towards us and wraps his arms around me.

"Oh honey I'm so glad that you're awake, we beginning to worry," he gushes. I look at him with the confused look still on my face and I turn to Elizaveta. She gives me an encouraging smile and I look back to dad. My hands slowly rises and wraps around dad returning his hug.

"Y-you don't have to worry e-eh," I say mechanically. He pulls out of the hug and takes a hold of my face.

"It's a parents duty to worry," he says softly. He searches my face for something, and I open my mouth to ask what's wrong when papa intervenes.

" Well mon petit. It's ten in the morning would you like your favourite pancakes?" He asks me. I blink for a few seconds and a huge smile appears on my face. Pancakes yum I can't even remember the last time I had some let alone papa's.

"Oui papa I would love that very much!" I exclaim. A happy smile appears on his face.

"Alright then why don't you and Alfred go play Xbox while I fix us some breakfast?" He asks me. I nod my head furiously and jump up out of dad's arms. I grab Alfred and drag him down to the basement where all the games are. He gives me a small smile and we both rush downstairs.

After kicking Alfred's butt in Halo 3 a few times we go upstairs to see a mini buffet at the dinner table. Steam rises from a high stack of golden brown, soft, fluffy pancakes, brown and crispy bacon, soft scrambled eggs, freshly cut fruits of different types, shapes and colours, warm oatmeal, white cold vanilla yogurt, plump hot sausages, pure real Canadian maple syrup (Oh maple my mouth drools at the sight of that syrup.), homade chocolate syrup, homemade butter, soft cream cheese, freshly squeezed orange juice and apple juice, coffee, with finally peppermint tea (Dad's favourite in the morning or a cold day.) Also beyond the mouth watering food of deliciousness, I see a familiar brunettes with another brunette and blonde.

"Lovi, Feli, Antonio, Ludwig hey what's up," I says to them. They all look at me and before I blink I'm being squeezed to death from Feliciano.

"Oh Mattie good morning! How are you? We were so worried about you, and when uncle Francis called to say that you were awake we immediately came to see you!" He says oh too fast.

"U-um I feel okay. Thanks for coming. I'm sorry that food on the table is ridiculously distracting," I mutter. I continue to stare at the food while my stomach lets out a plea for food. Everyone laughs and I hear others. I look to see dad, Elizaveta, and lastly papa bringing in freshly baked bread and my mouth drops open. I completely loose interest in everyone and all my attention is on that still steaming fresh bread. Oh that would taste sooo good with the homemade butter, or even better the homemade sweet butter. I cover my mouth to stop the drool.

"I think that Mathieu would very much enjoy eating right now," papa says. A chuckle erupting deep from his belly. I nod vigorously and continue to stare at the bread. Hurry we need to eat the bread before it gets too cold!

We FINALLY sit down and begin to eat. I try to control myself from tearing at everything at the table. Everything taste to good to be true. Explosion of flavour burst into my mouth with each bite and made it better. Oh dear god made it all better was the pure maple syrup. Not that fake shit, or that healthy shit, or any other made in a different country shit. No! I mean the REAL maple syrup. This is the real shit right here. As I continue to complement what makes Canada the most beautiful country to live, I don't pay attention to what Elizaveta is saying.

"- and it has to be taken three times a day. Okay Matthew?" She says. I giggle like the idiot I am and I think more about maple syrup. Oh maple syrup you sexy thing you.

"Uhh..Matthew?" She calls out.

"Don't even try to get his attention. When there's maple syrup he's gone in the brain," Alfred tells Elizaveta. She gives a wtf look and then slowly nods her head. I take another bite of my syrup smothered pancake.

"Oh maple syrup. Have I ever told you're the love of my life? And that you are so delicious that it's sinful because you are. And that's what I love about you." I dramatically sniff and take another bite, "So good. So yummy!" I shudder in happiness. Dad covers his mouth to hold back a snort, Alfred and Antonio burst out laughing, papa bites his lip to stop laughing, the twins tries to contain their giggles, Ludwig smiles, while Elizaveta tries to understand what is going on. Poor thing. She has confusion written all over her face, but I'm sorry I'm in the zone. I'm having a moment here.

After my maple high and breakfast we all help with the dishes (Of course I can't touch anything sharp...). We all walk back into the living room and we settle down. When the door bell ring. I say I'll get it and I walk up to the door. I open it and my heart jumps into my throat.

In front of me with flowers and the most fake smile I've ever seen is the the man who I wish to never see. All my happy and calm just flew out of the window and replace with nausea and fear.

"M-Mr. S-S-Smit-t-therss... why a-are you h-here e-eh?"

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**Hey guys to tell you the truth, I was kinda avoiding the story but then on Saturday my aunty took me to Canada's Wonderland (yay awesome amusement park) so I felt happy enough to write this without breaking down. Honestly I was going to post this last night but my dad was like go to sleep. So yea. My hands were shaking so badly while writing the sad parts. Oh Mattie I love you but the story would end way to soon if I make a happy ending so soon. Well the next reviews was suppose to be 72 reviews in total but ummm... you guys already passed that so the next is 84 reviews in total. So yea. **

**Well I'm going to go do something about my shaking body. I can't stop it from shaking and I'm not cold. So uh thanks for the favs, follow, alerts and reviews I really appreciate it makes me feel like I'm not an epic fail writer like I was told and thought I was. So yay. Anyway byez!**

**Remember 84 reviews!**


	7. I love you my twin

**I do not own Hetalia~ *does a little jig* but I own people who are not in hetalia *dance around like an idiot***

**Ladies and few male population (please gentlemen who read it I would love to talk to you... don't be shy I think it's cute) I present to you chapter 7 of Perfection**

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I feel bile rise up my throat but I force it down.

"Good afternoon Mr. Kirkland-Bonnefoy. I'm glad to see you out of the hospital. Yesterday I was going to give you these flowers but they told me that you already left," he tells me. His smile making me fidget on the spot. I nod and cautiously reach for the bouquet.

"T-thank you Mr. Smithers, you seriously don't need to do this. P-please don't do this," I ask. I try to stop myself from actually begging.

"Well it's Saturday," my body stiffens, "and you know we usually have tutoring yesterday." I feel breakfast rising back up my throat and once again I reluctantly swallow it. I hear my name being called in the distance but I it's way quieter than my heart pounding in my ears.

"Mattie who's at the door?" I hear Alfred call out to me. I feel him stop right behind me and know this is going to get bad if I don't do something soon. I swiftly turn on my heals, (which is not helping my stomach) and give him a look that says Do-not-fuck-it-up. He looks at me with a neutral face and he puts on his million dollar smile.

"Mr. Smithers, why on earth are you doing here?" He says really loud. I turn back around to Mr. Smithers to see him give Alfred an impatient look.

"Oh I just came to give your brother some flowers that I wanted to give to him yesterday. He deserves them more than you because he actually pays attention in class, Mr. Alfred F. Kirkland-Bonnefoy," he says Alfred's name with pure annoyance. I hear more foot steps come our way but I keep still.

"Well Mr. Smithers I really think you should leave. Mattie may be out of the hospital but he's still really sick. So if you don't mind why don't you make like a tree and leave. He needs some rest," Alfred says with his smile still intact. My stomach turns and it grows more difficult to keep down breakfast. I can't control my legs shaking and I try to fight the urge to collapse.

"Mr. Smithers it's so nice to see you," dad forces out. He gives him a small smile but I can see the angry glint in his eyes. I feel strong arms wrapped around waist I look gratefully towards dad. He gives me a reassuring smile and he turns his attention back to my history teacher.

"Matthew you should be resting, you know that," he tells me, "I'm sorry but Matthew can't have any visitors right now. Maybe you should visit him later," dad's voice grows quieter at the end. Mr Smithers blinks and nods.

"Oh yes that's understandable. I just came to drop off some flowers for my favourite student. Well I'll take my leave now. I hope you get better Matthew the classroom is quite boring without you," he says to me. I nod and wave goodbye to him. After he enters his car and drives away I immediately drop the flowers and flea to the bathroom. I throw up the delicious breakfast that papa made and I feel guilt. I feel someone rub soothing circles on my back and help keep my long curly hair from my face. I shudder as I dry heave. Oh god why did he come? Why did he have to come and ruin the wonderful morning?

I let out the last of my breakfast and flush the toilet. I wash out my mouth and walk out with dad right behind me. My legs finely give out but papa catches me. I pant quietly and groan as my stomach turns in a painful way. What did I do to deserve this?

"Alright let's put you back in bed so that you can get some rest okay?" Papa says gently in my ear. I whimper and papa lifts me up. We climb the stairs with dad closely behind and we enter my bedroom. Papa gently puts me down on my bed and covers me with the blanket. My eyes begin to close but I force them awake.

"I'm so sorry that your breakfast went to waste papa. It was really good," I whisper. Papa shushes me and runs his hands through my hair.

"Mon petit, I don't mind. That's not important. What's important right now is that you get some sleep. The doctors were reluctant on letting you out but we promise them that you get a lot of rest if they let you out. So be a good garcon and rest for us. Oui?" He says softly. My eyes flutters close and nuzzle the warm hand on my head.

"Oui papa," I whisper back. Sleep tries to steal me but I have to say this before I give in completely.

"Je t'aime papa, I love you dad," I breathe out, I let the sleep finally take me away from reality. In the quiet distance I hear a sob.

"We love you too, our angel."

**XXXXX**

**Alfred**

After I watch Mattie run to the bathroom I fight the urge to follow him. Dad bolts after him before I can chase him. All of us cringe when we hear Mattie throw up. I turn my head to see the flowers come into my view. Anger swells in my mind and heart. That bastard if it wasn't for him Mattie wouldn't be like this. I pick up the sickening objects and open the front door. I hear pops call out and ask me what I'm doing but I ignore him. Once I reach the front of the driveway I open the trash that was on the curb and I chuck the flowers in the garbage. I don't want Mattie to even more sick from the sight of these.

I walk back into the house and move towards the bathroom Mattie is in. I come just in time to see pops catch Mattie from falling on the ground. I hear him groan and I bite my lip. Pops says something into Mattie's ear and he nods. Then before I know it Mattie's being carried upstairs to his room probably. Dad trails behind and when there out of view I follow.

"Alfred what are you doing?" Feliciano asks me quietly. I look at my cousins and their lovers. I wish it could be that easy. Why did Mattie have to be my younger twin? If he wasn't I would have asked him to be my boyfriend but sadly I'm his brother.

"What does it look like I'm doing I'm going to go check on my twin," I say icily. Usually I wouldn't be so cold but that motherfucker of a teacher has ruin my happy mood. Just a few minutes ago Mattie was smiling and acting like how he use to be. Now he can't even stand upright. I ascend up the stairs and walk towards Mattie's bedroom. I stop at the doorway and watch my parents lull Mattie to sleep. I hear a quiet I love you in English and French and dad lets out a sob.

"We love you too, our angel," pops and dad says in sync quietly to Mattie. A small smile appears on his face and he falls fast asleep. I bite my lip and try not cry. Both dads lean down and kiss Mattie's forehead and they get up to leave. They stop short though when they see me.

"Alfred are you okay?" Dad asks me with worry. Mattie's words echoes in my ears loudly and I shudder.

"Enough about me. It's Matthew's turn for you attention. I have enough to last me awhile," I say to them. Dad's eyes widen but he nods. He looks back to Mattie and he turns back.

"Alright but if you're going to stay in here don't make too much noise. Matthew really needs the rest. When he wakes up call us so that we can give him his medication," he instructs me. I nod and watch as dad and pops walk out of the bedroom. I slowly walk over to Mattie and sit at edge of his bed. I run my calloused hands through Mattie's hair and he lets out a content sigh. He turns his head upward and nuzzles my hand. A smile grows on my face.

"You always act like a cat when you were younger. I guess you still do it now," I tell the sleeping form. I rub his cheek affectionately and watch as he sleeps peacefully. I lean forward until my face is parallel towards his lips. I lean even further down until our lips are a hairs length away. If he moves in his sleep right now our lips will make contact. I shiver at the thought of Mattie's soft plump lips touching mine. Oh Mattie how I wish I can have you as my own. I linger there for a moment and pull away from his face. I let out a quiet sigh and jump when I hear voices behind me.

"Isn't it bad that you love your brother like that?" Lovino asks me. I snap my head towards the doorway to see the four there watching me. I blush and try to think of an excuse.

"What the hell are you talking about Lovino? I love my brother as much as a brother should love his brother," I huff out. They walk closer towards Mattie and I.

"I don't think wanting to kiss your brother on the lips, staring at him class, blushing whenever he touches you, or jerking off to him the boys bathroom at school is a brother's love," Feliciano says with a serious face on. My face grows redder at the last comment Feliciano said.

"How the hell did you know about me," I start.

"We've walked in on you before," Lovino says.

"But I lock it," I protest.

"Ya well let's just say Lovi knows how to pick a lock rather well," Antonio says.

"Anyway that's not the point. The point is what are you going to do with your feelings for your younger brother let alone you twin?" He asks me. I groan and put my head in my hands. I can't believe I got caught.

"I don't know," I sigh and look up.

"Well love is love, no matter who the person is," Feliciano says. I look at him with a small smile.

"So you guys don't think it's weird that I'm in love with my younger twin?" I ask. Ludwig, Feliciano, and Antonio shakes their heads.

"It's weird as fuck but no one cares. Even everybody at school doesn't give two shits. Why do you think all the girls stopped flocking themselves around you and stop asking you out on a date?" Lovino says. I stop and realize that the girls actually have stopped annoying the living crap out of me. Also that I got a few provocative looks from a couple of guys. I let out a sigh.

"Well I don't even know if Mattie likes me in that way," I trail off. Everyone is quiet until the doorbell rings again. What the hell? The four of us stalk downstairs and I recognize the man.

"Good afternoon Mr. and Mr. Kirkland-Bonnefoy," a tall man walks in. His reddish brown hair bounces a bit as he walks in. His brown eyes giving a kind look towards my parents.

"Good Afternoon Mr. Riley, what brings you here we just met with you earlier," papa replies.

"Well we're going to have to talk about the case. We need some sort of proof about your son's uhh problem," the lawyer says. Dad nods but stops.

"How the bloody hell are we going to get proof that his history teacher rape him?" Dad freaks.

"Well I have an idea but I don't know if any of you would like it," he states.

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**Hey guys, yea you guys hit 82 in less than a half an hour... geesh if you guys want the chapter here you go. Hope you guys like. I'm going to go drown myself in music and fanfic stories. **

**Thanks for the reviews, favs, alerts, and follow I really appreciate it. You guys need now 96 reviews in total for the next chapter. Thankies for the support guys, I really appreciate it!**

**Ciao for now (hehe that rhymes)**


	8. I HATE YOU MR SMITHERS!

**Think of this as two chapters into one...because really it is...Any chocolate pie. I do not own Hetalia...uuhhhh... I do own my made up characters though. Even though I want to shoot three of them especially the teacher and ladies and gentle after you read this you might want to shoot his as well. I'm not going to say anything just read the A/N below.**

**Ladies and small male population who is reading this (...I know you reading this...) I present to you chapter eight of Perfection...*waits for applause* *goes cries while thinks of ways to kill of history douche of a teacher***

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The week flew by so fast and before I know it, it's Friday. Sadly though dad and papa insists that I go to school just for today. Also they tell me to phone immediately if I don't feel well. I let out a sigh as I exit out of Alfred's car and look at my prison again. Some people have stop and look at me. I squirm a bit but Alfred wraps his arm around my shoulder giving me an encouraging smile. I smile a small smile and we head into the huge school.

I sit in math class while the teacher drones on and on about quadratic formulas. I have a high grade average in school but that doesn't mean that I should love math. Too many numbers and formulas and if you're not careful when doing it one simple mistake can mess up the answer. Anyway enough about my hatred for mathematics, as I continue to listen to Mrs. Knight teach the us about the formulas (me being a try hard and already got the work done two weeks ago) I feel something hit the back of my head.

I look down on the ground to see a paper ball. I lean down, pick it up and read the scribbling on it.

_**"Hey homo it's been boring without you. Me, you at lunch time at the parking lot. If you're late I'll freaking mess you up, if you run away you're doomed."**_

I stare at the note for a couple more seconds and I feel my stomach drop. How lovely I'm in my third class and I'm already falling back into routine. I quietly groan and look at the clock. Ten minutes until lunch time. I let my head fall onto the desk with a quiet thud. I really didn't want to come school, why was dad and papa so intent on sending me to school today. I drown myself in my thoughts not hearing Mrs. Knight calling my name. I look up to see the room empty except for her.

"Matthew are you alright? The bell rang a couple of seconds ago. Do you want to call your parents to see if one of them would pick you up?" She asks me. Mrs. Knight is a sweet old teacher whose always concern about her students. One of the reason why I can stand school. Her offer sounds really tempting but I have to make it through the day for dad and papa.

"No Mrs. Knight thank you for your concern. I'm just still kinda sick that's all," I reassure her. Well more than kinda sick but I'm not going to tell her that. She gives a small smile.

"Alright honey but if something is bothering you please tell me. I would hate to know that you're troubled and I can help but you won't tell me," she says. I smile to her and gather my things. Why does she teach math she's way better at English and she'll be perfect for that class. Well at least treated with more respect in that class than math class. I say my goodbye and walk out of the classroom. I walk to my locker and put away my subjects. The note falls out and I reread it. Well I better go before it gets way too late. I don't want to deal with an even more pissed bully.

I walk down the hallway and don't even notice Alfred calling me. I walk out through the east doors and walk towards the parking lot. I stop by Mark's car to see him smiling with an evil glint in his eyes. I bite my lip to hold back a shriek and watch as he comes closer to me. Then out of the blue Justin appears beside him. I feel my throat go dry and I shake. Oh god what's happening? I look back and forth between the two while they stare at me with a wild craze in their eyes.

"U-uh w-what's going o-on eh?" I ask nervously. I begin to shake as I they come closer and closer to me. Justin leans in and breathes downs my neck.

"Oh Matthew you had us really worried," he says quietly. He then punches me hard in the stomach. I gasp for air as my stomach turns in a nauseous way and a painful way. That too. Crap just when I can start to hold down my food they do this to my stomach. I look up from the ground to see Mark slap me hard across the face.

"Oh homo do you know sickening it was to pretend to be concern about you?" He asks me roughly. I let out a whimper and fall to the ground. I don't have much energy to do anything.

"Seven years of bullying you and I almost lost my punching bag because he tried to kill himself. Tsk, tsk you selfish pathetic faggot.," he says menacing.

"Well sadly I wish he killed himself. I abuse his ass for two years straight and he dumps me for his brother. Pfft how sad," Justin tells Mark. They both laugh cruelly at me and I feel my eyes begin to sting. Why? What did I honestly do to you two?

"Hmm maybe he should die he's a sad excuse and waste of a man. Everyone he meets either mistaken him for his brother or a chick," Mark says. Both men laugh at me and a tear falls from my eyes. Why? Just why!

"Hmm well you two are a pathetic excuse as humans and a waste of air because you bully and beat up someone who did nothing you," a familiar voice says. All three of us turn to see Alfred look at Justin and Mark. I see pure fury in his eyes. He marches up to the two, his usually happy-go-lucky eyes are replace with murderous ones.

"I don't like you two. I never like you two. I don't know which one I should beat the shit out of. But you know what I really, really hate you," he says. Out of no where Alfred punches Justin hard in the face and before anyone can react he punches Mark as well. Blood starts to run down Mark's nose and Justin's lip. He walks over and picks me up bridle style.

"This isn't over. I will hunt you two down and make you regret for even looking in Matthew's direction. I'm just taking Mattie and when I find you two let's just say that you two will be in the hospital instead of Mattie. Come on Mattie dad and papa told me this morning to make sure that you eat something," with that Alfred let's out a feral growl at two and turns around. We head back into the building and when we reach the doors Alfred puts me down. His murder filled eyes now replace with concern. He softly touches my cheek.

"Are you okay? I was calling you in the hallway but you came out here to these jerks. You know you don't have to do that anymore. Remember I'm the hero, I have to protect you. It's my duty," he says to me. He leans his forehead against mine, our noses touching lightly. I stare into beautiful ocean blue eyes. I don't realize the tears falling down my eyes. He smiles gently and wipes away my tears.

"Of Mattie you don't have to cry," he says. I turn my head.

"I'm not crying chick tears, I'm crying freaking tears of manliness. So you can leave me and my manly self to sweat through my eyes," I sniff loudly. It's quiet for the moment until laughter fills my ears. Which then turns into choked snorts. Thanks Alfred you really know how to cheer someone up. I look back at Alfred to see him choking on his laughter. A smile grows on mine.

"Oh god Mattie yes, you are crying freaking manly tears. When you're done let us go frolic in flowers in our manry shorts, flowy tops and flower crowns. While we're at it let us run dramatically to the sunset, and then we jump up in the air while we then magically freeze in the air and the screen fades black, you know only manly like" he says and laughs louder. I punch him in his arm but I laugh non the less. Oh god we sound like dad when he thinks he's all by himself in the house. Absolutely insane.

"God we are just as insane as dad," I tell him. He smiles and nods feverishly. After our little out burst we go into the cafeteria. We enter the line for food but sadly that punch has left me feeling nauseous.

"Alfie I'm not hungry," I declare to him. He looks at me with surprise and I look back at him.

"But Mattie~ Dad and Frenchie pops ordered, no I take that back threatened that I make sure you eat something," he whines back to me. I sigh and look at the food again.

"Alright what if I share my lunch with you then," he suggests to me. I think it over and nod my head.

"Alright but if you put anything even remotely close to a burger I will smack. I don't think my stomach will be able to handle that right now," I order him. He puts his hands up in a surrender position.

"Okay, okay no burgers," he says in defeat.

"Honestly how do you manage to eat that everyday and not get sick. Any normal person would never want to see a hamburger again if they eat 1/4 of how much you eat," I scold him lightly.

"I don't know. I just love them no matter how much I eat them," he answers.

After we get our shared lunch which consists of fruit salad, salad, two ginger ale, and a chicken caesar wrap we look for a table. Everything I just said was chosen by Alfred...yes you heard me. Alfred F. Kirkland-Bonnefoy has chosen this healthy lunch. If dad and papa were here their eyes will burn. If I tell them right now they would probably laugh their asses off and tell me to stop joking. Anyway...on with life, I'm sorry for that moment but...that lunch...it's so healthy and I said salad...twice...twice I say! Anyway moving on...

We search the lunch room for a spot to sit but we don't search for long to see Feliciano and Antonio waving their hands like crazy our way. We smile and walk towards our cousins and friends.

"Hey guys we were wondering when you'll be coming," Antonio says with excitement. I hum my yes while Alfred chuckles.

"Matthew where on earth is your lunch? I don't think you shouldn't be not eating nothing," Feliciano says. Everyone except Alfred nod their head in approval.

"Oh don't worry Mattie is sharing lunch with me the hero!" Alfred informs them. The four look at Alfred, then amongst themselves, then me, then Alfred. Lovino's eyebrow shoots up.

"Really now," he says. He looks at me and I nod. I reach for an apple slice and slowly eat it.

"How's your morning going Matthew?" Ludwig asks me. He looks at me with concern. I blush and look away.

"Oh you know very boring and uneventful," I answer quickly. Alfred snorts.

"Uneventful. Mattie your freaking motherfucking douche of an ex-boyfriend and son of a bitch bully ganged up at you at the beginning of lunch. Which reminds their dead meat as soon as I get them alone," he says darkly.

"What!" The table exclaims.

"You guys shouldn't worry about it, I'm fine really," I reassure them.

"Mattie you were slapped and punched in the stomach! Who knows what else would have happen if I didn't come!" Alfred exclaims.

"Shut up Alfred," I say quietly. He huffs and munches on a carrot from the salad.

"Oh Mattie. We can get rid of them if you want us too," Feliciano says way too innocently. I look between him and Lovino. Hmm sounds tempting and they'll probably cover the tracks really good. Wait! Back it up!

"I'll think about it," I say while I reach for a strawberry now. Mmm how I love strawberries. Not as much as maple syrup but pretty close.

"Anyway enough about me how about you guys?" I ask. Instantly Feli's face brightens up and he dives in about his morning.

After everyone talks about their morning, Feliciano's face grows sad and nervous.

"Feli is everything okay?" I ask him. He looks up at me tears threatening to fall down his face.

"Oh Matthew later please accept our apology. We're only doing it for the best. Please don't be angry at us," he begs. I look at him with confusion.

"What are you talking about Feli why will I be upset with you guys?" I ask him. Everyone at the table grows unusually quiet and I look around. What the hell?

When the end of lunch finally reaches, I shudder. It's the afternoon which means that I have history class last period. Also it's Friday, so that means I have tutoring. I feel my lunch turn in my stomach even though I didn't eat a lot of it. To everyone's dismay. I say my goodbyes and Alfred walks me to my locker.

"Well I guess I'll see you in...history class," he spat out the class with venom. I nod nervously. Well atleast I won't be in history class all by myself. I'll have Alfred there with me. We walk to Alfred's locker which is down the hall from mine. After that we walk to the basement where my art class is. We stop just before the door and Alfred touches my cheek that was slapped.

"If you get a note like that don't go okay. Show it to me and I'll deal with it," he says. He searches my eyes and I nod. I try to fight a blush because I'm now realizing how close we are.

"Alright I will," I tell him. He smiles a small one and he hesitantly leans down and kiss my bruised cheek. My heart stops and my eyes widen. He scratches at the back of his head after he pulls away.

"Alright I guess I'll go to my gym class then. Bye Mattie," he says while avoiding my eyes.

"Bye Alfie,"I whisper. He nods and I watch him jog up the stairs to the gym. I stay in my position for a couple seconds and touch my cheek. I wince a bit but I keep my hand there. Alfred kiss me. He, he kiss me. A stupid smile grows on my face. He kiss me!

"Well someone looks ridiculously happy," a voice says. I quickly turn to see Lovino and Feliciano. Oh god how much did they see? The two smile and drag me into our art class.

**XXX Time Skip oh yea! (I'm sorry, please don't kill me...)**

I nervously sit at my desk and look at the clock for what seems the millionth time this class. Mr. Smithers talks about the American Revolution and of course Alfred corrects Mr. Smithers every time he says something wrong. Alfred why do you test his patience? I shift in my seat once more catching Alfred's attention again. He gives me a smile but something about throws me off. He looks awfully nervous, if anything I should be the one nervous. I watch him as he scribbles something down and he slides it to me.

_**"Hey Mattie I have to go to the gym before class ends. Do you think you can handle being alone for awhile? I promise as soon as I'm done I'll come immediately for you."**_

I look at the note for a couple of seconds then at Alfred. My heart squeezes a bit.

_**"Sure I think I can survive but try not to stay too long or get distracted. Please for my mental and physical well being."**_

I slide the note back over to him and he reads it.

_**"Alright sorry, Lovino and Feliciano would have been with you but they left class. When I talked to them they said something about an appointment. But Mattie I'm terrible sorry for what I'm going to do to you. Please forgive me and the others."**_

He slides it back to me and I read. I bite my lip and look to the spot where the Italian brothers would usually be. Nope their not there. I sigh under my breath.

_**"That's okay, and what the heck are you talking about? Why on earth do you need to apologize for?"**_

I slide it to him and hear him slip the note somewhere in his binder. I look to him with curiosity but I'm greeted with nervousness, fear, and regret swimming in Alfred eyes. He looks into my eyes and I see his eyes water. He mouths I'm sorry and I stare at him. What the hell are you talking about Alfred and why are you apologizing? I look back up to look at the board. My eyes wonder a bit until it stops at Mr. Smithers he gives me a knowing smile and my lunch leaps up. Oh great he didn't forget that it's Friday. How wonderful.

Ten minutes before the bell the P.A. system calls Alfred down and I watch as he leaves. He gives me one more encouraging/regretful smile and then disappears behind the door. I feel familiar eyes on me and I look to see Mr. Smithers giving me a huge smile. I feel myself grow pale and I slide down in my chair. Maybe I won't be able to survive. I watch the clock as minutes turns into seconds until finally the home bell rings. I quickly pack my stuff and get up.

"Mr. Kirkland-Bonnefoy we have tutoring I hope you didn't forget," Mr. Smithers remind me. I feel all the blood drain from my body and I sit back down on the chair. I listen to everyone trying to get the hell out of the school because you know it's Friday who the hell wants to stay back? Oh Alfred where the hell are you? When the last of the stragglers leave the whole school grows to quiet for my liking.

"Well you miss two tutoring sessions Matthew," he begins. I feel myself shake and my breath grows unsteady.

"I-I'm sorry e-eh," I tell him. Praying that he isn't in the mood to do anything. He seats himself on his desk and he curls his finger in a come to me motion. I whimper silently and slowly walk to him. Alfred please I'm begging you please come right now, but sadly the door only stays slightly a jar. When I finally reach Mr. Smithers he reaches and tilts my face. I gulp while he examines my cheek.

"Who did this to you?" He asks me with authority, and most disgustingly possessiveness in his voice. I tremble.

" Eh M-Mark Stewart did s-sir," I answer. He grumbles something under his breath which sounds a lot 'I'm going to smack that boy'. He then turns my face back toward his. He smiles a small smile at me.

"Can you believe that it is exactly seven years ago today that I had sex with you," he says in triumph.

"Exactly seven years ago you raped me and made me loose my innocence and childhood," I correct him.

"Oh Matthew my little boy you. You make it sound so horrendous. It wasn't my fault that I couldn't control myself anymore around you," he purrs, "Oh how I miss you soft, delicate, scared body withering underneath me. You've made me pretty lonely, I nearly screwed the poor boy from Finland. Sadly his Swedish boyfriend kept giving me death glares every time I look at the boy," he says chuckling at the end. Are you serious? You nearly ruined another person's life because I miss two damn sessions?

"But I don't think it would have felt the same as you. I love when your hoarse voice screams for help. I love how you beg me to stop. How you would bite you lip to keep yourself from screaming. I love how you're too scared to hit me because you know I will beat you," he rubs his hand slowly down my body. I try to back away from his touch but he has a strong grip on me. Alfred!

"I wanted to be nice on you because of today but since you were missing those other two Fridays I take back my kindness," he says rather darkly. His eyes grow dark and it glistens with lust. Oh god. No please I beg of you!

He slides off his desk and he traps me in between him and the desk. I feel tears prickle my eyes and I try not to cry. He takes my two hands and grips them painfully. I start squirm a lot and tears start to roll down from my eyes.

"Yes Matthew cry for me. Beg me to stop!" He says in a craze voice. I begin to sob. Alfred! ALFRED! Mr. Smithers unbuttons my uniform shirt and harshly pinches my nipples with his free hand. I cry out in pain and try to escape him.

"Please! Please stop. I beg of you please!" I cry out. He laughs and ignores my pleading.

"I'm tired of foreplay," he says. He unbuckles my belt and pulls down pants. I find my voice and start to scream.

"Please! No, please!" I scream out loud. He spins me around harshly and lean my stomach on to his desk.

"Let's do it like the first time we did it," he growls in my ear. I shake my head like mad. No, no! Alfred where are you? Please save me! I hear Mr. Smithers pull down his pants and my tears come out in fast steady streams. No please no!

"Alfred! Papa! Daddy! Anyone! Feliciano! Lovino! Ludwig! Antonio! Please anyone! Please help me!" I scream at the top of my lungs. Anyone! Anyone. I scream louder my voice already hurting from screaming. I feel dizzy and sick but I don't care about that. Then he sticks his penis in me dry. My heart stops for five seconds as excruciating pain shoots up my ass and spine. My world gets fuzzy but Mr. Smithers pounds into me without giving me a second to adjust, just like he always do. I cry out in utter pain and beg him to take it out. He just laughs at me in an insane way and pounds harder and faster into me. I dig my nails into my hands and scream out for my family! I scream out for my friends! I scream out for anybody outside hearing this! But importantly I scream out for god to kill me!

After fifteen minutes of pounding and me cumming five minutes ago Mr. Smithers finally cums into my body and I cry louder. He chuckles and pulls himself out of me. My head spins really fast and I let out a hoarse groan. I can't scream anymore I've lost my voice probably eleven minutes in. I shake vigorously while Mr. Smithers lets go of my hands. I stand up and I feel the blood and cum run down my legs. Then I hear the door open with a bang. Mr. Smithers and I look to the door to see my whole family, Antonio, Ludwig, Elizaveta, and a man I don't recognize staring at us in horror. Alfred shakes his head while tears run down his face. I watch him mouth 'I'm so sorry' to me. I give them a small smile and then everything went black.

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**Oh god I'm in the corner bawling my eyes out. I'm So So Very Sorry Mattie! Wahhhhh! Oh god I'm sorry. I'm going to freaking go and eat some double fudge ice cream and bawl some more. Oh Matthew! Oh Mattie I'm so sorry! Please forgive me! Please! I think this the chapter I hate the most. Also I want to freaking shoot Mr. Smithers( but not killing him of course..) then chuck him into man eating shark infested water and then killing him. ;knslghlkgljbgdjskjfbgkwjgb I'm so pissed at creating such an evil man! Maple I hope he goes in hell and rot there (even though he's a made up character).**

**Anyway while I rage/cry/eat double fudge ice cream to ease the pain I need you guys to give me twelve more reviews, so 108 reviews wait... looks at review...hmmm...114 there I'm being nice I only need six more****reviews then I'm going to go kill off Mr. Smithers really REALLY SOON! Any bye thanks for the fav****more s, follows, reviews, and alerts I really appreciate it. Now if you'll excuse me**

**;jrfouiq ghajlfgwroiyerk \**

**RRAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRRRRr I HATE THAT SON OF ***** AND ******AWMN KJADAUGKGVFKUTS\ GGAAAAAAAAAHH**

***Rage face* *FLIPS TABLE* FLIPS MOTHER FUCKING RUSSIA* krejdtojghalkenfd jkhehoigfh sfblkjelhjeh **

**(sorry the author a.k.a my awesome buddy has left to go rage and shoot her computer screen sorry please just fill in the reviews sincerely her her best friend la-chan...yea I just read it and I want rage right now too but she just got up, jumped on her bed and is now screaming into the pillows and having a hissy fit...yea...well I'm going to join her and totally rage. So I'll say her goodbye. Ciao for now! She really appreciates that you guys are reading this. She's an amazing writer she just has no self esteem. Silly silly girl. Anyway bye.)**


	9. Night Terrors

**Hey guys here's the next chappy hope you like it! *Does a little dance* *Add super awesome amazing kawaii finishing move***

**Ladies and few male population who reads this I give you chapter nine of Perfection! *Jazz hands* Oh yea! *gets a rock thrown at her*...*then shot multiple of times*...**

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I wake up to see that I'm back in my room. I look out of my window and see stars blinking and shining. Was all that a dream? I slip out my bed and wince a bit. My head pounds against my skull and I groan. Alright I guess I might as well take some Tylenol. I slowly walk out of my room and pass Alfred's room. I stop for a couple of seconds and listen. That's weird I don't hear Alfred's light snoring. I shrug it off and walk down the stairs being careful to skip the stairs that creak.

After shuffling around I enter the kitchen and turn on the lights. I hiss quietly as the bright light burns my eyes. I give myself a couple of seconds to adjust and then I look into the medicine cabinet. Yes dad insist that all the medication is in a place that is an easy access to everyone including guest, so all the vitamins and medication are in the kitchen. It's a pain in the butt when I have to get my medication but oh well, I'm over it. I look behind all the vitamin bottles and I grab the small bottle of Tylenol. Lucky for me there is two pills left. I guiltily swallow them and drink a glass of water. I hear a quiet creak.

I don't like being the only one awake at night. I find it freaky as hell especially after you watch a scary movie. Sadly Alfred is obsessed with those type of movies. What makes it worst is that I have a good memory and an over reactive imagination. So this adds on to why I'm usually the first to fall asleep. I finish up my water and put it in the sink. I hear something creak upstairs and I freeze. Something shuffles upstairs and I hear a door close. Somebody's probably going to bathroom. Yes that's reasonable, so I don't need to freak myself out. I quickly dash up to my room and close the door. Okay Matthew what are you freaking about? Dad made sure that papa set up a security system awhile back so there's nothing to be scared about. I give myself comfort on the thought of the security system and I crawl back under the covers.

I hear a muffle and the door opening again then some more shuffling then a door closing. See someone did use the bathroom nothing to be nervous about. I close my eyes and drift off into a dreamless slumber. I then hear a quiet crash and my eyes snap open. I look at my clock to see that I've been asleep for an hour so it's two in the morning. I quietly groan until I hear heavy breathing. I stop breathing for a couple of seconds to still hear the heavy breathing. I feel my blood turn cold. Okay Matthew it's you crazy imagination acting up again. I hear shuffling come closer and I immediately pretend that I'm sleeping. I even out my breaths and try not to stiffen up. I feel something place on my bed but I don't move. Then it grows way too quiet.

After waiting for a few minutes I feel something wet and sticky touching me. I slowly turn my head and freeze. Every single drop of blood leaves my body making me feel cold.

Dad, papa, and Alfred's head are on my bed staring me in the eyes. Something in my gut tells me not to look up but I still do.

There a few metres away from me is Mr. Smithers covered in my family's blood with an ax in his hand.

"MMatthewwwww," he hisses while coming closer to me. I stare and I open my mouth to scream, but nothing comes out.

"Mmatthewwww!" He screams. I try to scream again but still nothing. Tears roll down my eyes and I try to stop them.

He raises his ax and a demonic voice comes out of his mouth, " Die!" His mouth drops open in an unnatural way and black blood oozes out of his mouth. His ax comes down and I finally find my voice.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

I sit up screaming and gasping for air. I look on my bed to see no blood or heads. A pained sob comes out of my mouth and I cry. What kind of creepy ass dream was that? I continue to cry loudly but I stop quiet to hear panting behind my door. I feel the blood drain out of my body just like in the dream. Wake up, wake up! I grab my pillow and curl up against the wall. I cry out louder and I try to shut up. My door slams open and I let out a scream. I chuck my pillow at the door and scream. I hear someone cry out but I continue to scream. A hand reaches into my room and if possible I scream even louder. I chuck my other pillow and I hear a grunt. Light fills my room and I see everyone at my door.

"Matthew?" Alfred cries out at me. I shut up and look at my alive family? What the hell?

Dad dashes in and he strokes my hair.

"Oh honey it's okay it's just another nightmare. Okay, shh you're okay," dad continues to say gentle words into my ears and I look at him. You died how the heck are you still alive?

"Pops that was his seventh nightmare are you sure he's okay?" Alfred asks papa. He sighs and he looks at dad and I. He then turns to Elizaveta. Wait I've been awake before? This is the first time I have awaken!

"Well I don't even think these are nightmares, these are more like night terrors. What makes it worst is that he passes out before we can even ask him what's wrong," Elizaveta says. I hear exhaustion in her voice and I feel guilt swim in my body. A man I don't recognize walks out of the crowd and he stands in front of dad and I.

"Roderich, sweety what are you doing?" Elizaveta asks the man. The dark brunette hair man kneels down towards me and he looks at me. I stare into his deep blue-purple eyes and he stares back at my wash out purple eyes.

"Young Matthew would you mind telling us what kind of dream you had?" His austrian accent asks me. I blink at the man while I grip on to dad. I continue to look at him and I get the same feeling as I did with Elizaveta.

"Roddy hunny you're scaring the poor thing. Why don't you-" I cut her off.

"Austria," I whisper. He gives me a shock look and nods.

"You're Austria's country representative," I say quietly. He gives me an intrigued look.

"Yes I am," he states. My history on the Austrian Hungarian history scratches at the back of my mind.

"Are you divorce to Elizaveta?" I ask him. Roderich blushes and sighs.

"I was but I married her again. Non politically but I really married her just like how your parents did but enough about us can you please answer my previous question?" He says. I look at him again and I slip out of dad's arms. I climb on my window bench seat and look out the window. I search to see anything creepy like moving in the shadows. When nothing appears I sigh.

"I dreamt about Mr. Smithers. That's all." I say quietly. Everything is silent until Alfred talks.

"Okay little bro I know that there is more to it," he says grumpily, " I know that man is scary enough to make any person scream but for you to attack us the first time, strangle us the second time, beg for mercy the third, slap us the fourth, scream for help the fifth, swear and threaten us the sixth, and finally smacking me with a pillow twice! I know there's more to it!" I turn my head to see Alfred pissed and his right eye twitching. Okay maybe me and nightmares don't get along but you don't have to give me a death glare. I sigh and look back out the window. I freeze to see nightmare creepy ass demon thing Mr. Smithers looking at me.

"Matthewwww," he hisses at me. I stare at him and freeze up. I'm awake, I'm suppose to be awake! His blood covered hand some how comes through my window glass and he grabs my neck. I finally realize what's happening and I let out a scream. I smack at the hand and try to get away. Strong arms grab me and pull me from the window. And just like that Mr. Smithers vanishes. I stop screaming at look at the window. I slowly turn around to see Justin. He looks at me evilly and then his eyes roll to back of his head. His skin starts to tear away from his flesh and his teeth gets pointy. I scream again and I try to get of his hands.

"Mine," he says and I freak out some more. I finally get out of his arms and I back up but something stops me. Mark glares at me. He opens his mouth and it tears open into five separate parts looking like the bottom of a squid with sharp teeth. He screeches at me while he grows freakishly tall and his skin turn black.

"Die," he cries out. I scream again and I get up and run towards my bed. I look back to see all three of them chasing me. I cry out and I hop underneath my covers. I curl into a little ball with the sheet protecting me and grip it so that nothing can get to me. I let out a scream when the evil three tries to pry the sheets out of my hands. I curl up even tighter and I begin to wail. I hear something faint and then the hands finally let go. Everything falls silent and I stop screaming. Why did they stop? I hear something shuffle and I tense up again. Ever so slowly I feel something move on my bed. I begin to shake and I grip the sheet tighter. Everything is still for a couple of breaths.

Then something yanks me from my feet. I panic and I try to kick at the hands but they have a good grip on me. I hear a grunt but I ignore it.

"Let go! Don't kill me! Dear god please don't drag me to hell please. I'm sorry I told them! I'm sorry! Please, please forgive me!" The tugging still continues.

"Please if it makes you three happier I'll kill myself please just don't kill me! Please!" I scream at the top of my lungs. The sheets are taken from me and I squeeze my eyes shut.

"Matthew Jean-Pierre Kirkland-Bonnefoy don't you even dear ever say that again while I'm still alive!" I open my eyes to see Alfred staring deep into my eyes with fury. I shut my mouth and look around to see the evil trio nowhere. I imagined that? My eyes fall on Elizaveta to see her hair a wreck and she's rubbing her hands with Roderich rubbing her back. Then I see papa and dad and their pajama shirts are torn a bit, finally I gaze back at Alfred to see scratches on his hands and face. Did I do that? Tears flow down my cheeks silently and I sob.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I thought you guys were them. I didn't mean to do it.I'm sorry," I let out a louder sob. I curl up and cry. Alfred sighs and he pulls into his arms.

"We know you didn't mean it. We're sorry for leaving in your room by yourself. Shh don't cry Mattie you know we still love you," Alfred says quietly. He rocks me back and forth and holds tightly. I stop crying and look up at the man I have fallen in love with. I see his eyes shut tight and tears softly rolling down his lightly tan cheeks. I reach up and wipe away his tears.

"Oh Alfie you don't have to cry," a small smile appears on my face. As if we have twin telepathy a grin breaks out on his stressed face.

"I'm not crying chick tears, I'm crying freaking tears of manliness. So you can leave me and my manly self to sweat through my eyes," he repeats what I told him when he saved me from Mark and Justin. We both burst out laughing and I can't help myself.

"Oh god Alfie yes, you are crying freaking manly tears. When you're done let us go frolic in flowers in our manly shorts, flowy tops and flower crowns. While we're at it let us run dramatically to the sunset, and then we jump up in the air while we then magically freeze in the air and the screen fades black, you know only manly like" I quote him. We laugh louder and I fall out of his hands.

"I swear dad is rubbing off on us. We're going to turn insane Mattie!" He howls at me through his laughter. All I can do is hold my sides and laugh even louder.

"Can't breathe," I snort and we momentarily stop. We look at each other then we laugh again.

"Oh god, the pain. The pain!" Alfred yells out. After a few minutes we finally calm down and we sit up again.

"Okay I'm guessing that's an inside joke," Lovino says. We both look at him and burst out laughing again. Lovino raises his hands in a sign of defeat. We force ourselves to calm down again and we look towards everyone. Dad looks at us with his eyes glistening.

"Please don't cry or else we might not be able to stop," Alfred and I say quickly. Dad gives us a weird look and he wipes at his eyes.

"Wait you think I'm insane?"Dad finally catches on. Oh god! Alfred and I burst out laughing again. Oh god my stomach.

"Okay breathe we don't want you two to pass out!" Papa tells us. We calm down again and we take deep breaths.

"We're good. We're good," Alfred says. I try to contain my giggles and Alfred smacks me lightly on the arm. I squish my lips together and nod that I'm okay.

"Don't worry Tinkerbell everyone is the crazy ones," dad whispers but we all hear it.

That did it.

Alfred and I burst out laughing again.

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**Sorry this came out now. On Friday I went ot my cousin's birthday party, on Saturday I went to my friends sweet 16 birthday party, on Saturday I went to my family BBQ party. Today I had to write because tomorrow my grandma from Puerto Rico is coming over. She's staying at my cousins' place but she's coming to visit us. Well yea sorry this is way late. Don't worry I have the evil trio's death- I mean...actually I don't really give two rats ass so yea I have their deaths planned just bare with them for a few more chapters. Don't worry, I will give them THE most slowest and painful death as possible.**

**Aha...Ahaha...AHAHAHA... AHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAH MWAHHAHAHAHAH!**

**MWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!**

***Evilly smirks while scaring little sisters shitless**Also parents giving me a worried/scared look* Oh well**

**BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA DIE WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT BASTARDS DIE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!**

**Thanks for the favs, alerts, review, and follows! I really appreciate it. What was I doing again? Oh yeah...**

**MUAHAHAHAHAAA!**

**Ciao for now!**


	10. Random dance party!

**I don't own hetalia or the songs I just own the storyline. Yay for me. **

**Ladies and few male population I present to chapter 10 of Perfection~**

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After Alfred and my laughing fest we all decide to leave him with me for the night. I wake up to see him sleeping beside me and I feel all my dreams coming true. Oh my mapley goodness Alfred is right here sleeping next to me. I hold back a little happy squeal and watch his peaceful sleeping face. He mumbles my name and he wraps his arms around me tighter. I feel myself float on cloud nine!

"My Mattie," he mummers into my ear. I feel a hot blush spread across my cheeks, oh my maple. Oh my maple! I wiggle a bit out of his arms to see what time it is. Red numbers blink, telling me that it's minutes after nine. I smile and reach over to turn on my Ipod touch. The new song 'Hands up in the air' by Timbaland and Ne yo from the new movie Step Up Revolution plays. Something that I haven't felt in a long time takes over my body. I...I feel like dancing! I have the sudden urge to dance around. I put the Ipod on repeat and I sneak out Alfred's arms. This feeling needs to be tamed and it has to be now! The house is quiet so I guess everyone is still sleeping. I'm sorry but I'm going to change that. I smile evilly.

I rush down the stairs and I start to clear the living room so that there is a lot of space. I smile happily and hook up the Ipod to the surround sound! My smile grows huger as the music plays quietly. I quietly apologize to the neighbours and blast the music. Timbaland's voice blast throughout the house and I begin to let the music take over my body. I hear cries but I don't care. I'm just really happy! I have the random urge to dance and it won't go away until I dance. I dance around while my family comes down the stairs. They all stop and watch me dance around the huge living room. A huge smile on my face. The beat intoxicates my senses and I whip my hair. I let out a happy squeal and put my hands up in the air.

I feel so good. I haven't felt like this is ages! The song repeats itself and I continue to move to the music. I sing along at the top my lungs. Feliciano stares at me and a smile grows on his face. He rushes over to me and grabs my hands.

_"Such a beautiful crowd, levels on ten, people standing on chairs, put your hands in the air!"_

We sing at the top of lungs we dance around, our laughter filling the room. We shake our butts not caring and we whip our hair. We put our hands in the air and then Antonio joins us. We shriek and dance around. We clap hands and whoop in happiness. I look to my family and dance myself over to them. I grab dad and papa's hand and pull them onto the five minute made dance floor. I let go of papa's hand and grab dad's other hand. Papa will dance it's dad who will be a little bit more reluctant. I begin to dance, and shake dad and my hands as a fail attempt to get him to dance. He gives me a quick shock look and then a wicked grin grows on his face. He starts to dance and when he does I shove him into papa's arms. I smile at them and I look to my prize. He gives me a knowing smile and I reach out a hand to him.

He takes my hand and he begins to sway to the music. If possible my smile grows wider. I've never felt so happy in such a long time. I dance while I watch Feli and Toni try to get Ludwig and Lovino to dance. They look my way and when they catch my eyes they let out a defeated sigh. A small smile shows on their faces and they move to the beat. Feli and Antonio let out a happy holler and dance with their lovers. The only two who aren't dancing is Elizaveta and Roderich. Elizaveta looks like she really wants to dance but I don't think this is Roderich's type of music. He seems more like a classical music type of guy. I let go of Alfred's hand and dance my way over to my therapist.

I bow and hold out my hand. She laughs and takes my hand. She sways to the beat and she looks back at her husband. She gives him a pleading look and Roderich rolls his eyes, but he has a smile. I give her back to him. I watch as the two dance together and I feel warmness fill my heart. Just when I'm about to turn around Alfred grabs me from behind. He wraps his arms around my waist and I let out a laugh. Why do I feel so happy? Is is because I woke up to Alfred sleeping beside me? Alfred shakes me from side to side and I feel myself feel high. Not like the high that I get from cutting but a different high. One that I haven't felt since I was a little kid. We let the song repeat five more times and we all decided to change the song.

This is the best way to start the morning! A random dancing party. That's how people should roll, seriously! Feli and Antonio grabs each one my hand and we spin around in a circle. Our laughter cause the others to laugh as well. I watch papa and dad dance close together. They look so happy and free. It must be nice to do something like this instead of worrying. The song finally changes and a German Rave song plays. Ludwig gives me a surprise look as 'Disco Pogo' plays loudly.

_"D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-disco pogo!"_ Feliciano and I scream. We laugh and grab Ludwig. His face goes red and shakes his head in a no way in hell am I dancing way! Of course we ignore him and we beg/order him to sing it. He gives in and before we know it we're dancing around like idiots and singing.

_"Disco pogo dingalingalingaling,"_ we belt out. Alfred and Antonio snorts and joins in on our stupidity. Oh god we start laughing even harder and we try to breathe.

"Oh god we need glow in the dark stuff!" Feli squeaks after catching his breath after our laugh fest. We don't even notice papa and dad are gone, nope we're in our little world. We try to convince Lovino to dance with us.

"I am not dancing to no potato rave music made by potato bastards," Lovi screeches out to us. After a few more seconds he finally gives in and sways back and forth. We giggle and continue to dance. The song switches and 'We no speak Americano' plays.

"Now this is music," Lovino says.

"Pfft!" we all burst out laughing including Ludwig. Lovino joins in and we all fall down on to the floor, holding on to stomachs. Oh maple I think we all have a bad case of the giggles. I'm the first to catch my breath and I sit up. 'Everybody dance now' blasts and we try not to laugh even harder.

_"Everybody dance now!"_ I scream. Everybody gets up and we start dancing like crazy. Lovino, Feliciano, and I booty bump each other and sing the girl's part while the other three guys sing the man's part. We don't realize papa with a camera on, filming us or dad with his cellphone out also filming us. And we most definitely don't realize the man with red brown hair and brown eyes smiling at us. Elizaveta slides in beside us and dances along with us. Feli and I wrap our hands around her and sway back and forth while the others dance like idiots.

'Call me maybe' by Carly Rae Jepsen plays next but I can't help myself. It seems Feli can't as well, we start singing the lyrics and dance around like dramatic girls. Alfred burst out singing with us and everyone laughs louder.

_"Where you think your going baby?!"_ We all sing.

_"Hey I just you. And this crazy. But here's my number so call me maybe!"_ Oh maple the poor neighbours are probably wondering why the hell are we blasting and singing to music so loudly in the morning. 'Feel so close to you' is now playing and everyone immediately sings along.

_"I feel so close to you right now!"_ We all sing.

I reach out for Alfred's hand and he reaches out for mine. Once our hands connect I feel a electric current run through my body. He pulls me in tight to his body and we dance.

"Wwwoooooo!" We scream. Dad laughs at us and papa smile grows huger. I wrap my arms around Alfred's shoulder and wrap my other hand around Feliciano's shoulder. This chain continues until we're all connected. We all jump up and down rocking out to the music. 'Titanium' by David Guetta and Sia plays next. While we sing out loud and dance around like idiots. Papa gives dad the camera and walks into the kitchen. Dad continues to film us and we still don't take notice of the camera.

_"You shoot me down, but I won't fall. I am titanium. Titanium!"_

We clap along with the beat and dance around. Antonio grabs my hands and we throw them up in the air and jump up and down. David Guetta's part plays and we giggle. The song ends and is replace with 'Good time' by Owl City and Carly Rae Jepsen. We party around the room while singing along. We form a conga line and dance around. Elizaveta laughs at us and we smile. Roderich's grin turns into a smile. Then of course the stupid playlist plays. 'Peanut butter jelly time' plays and Alfred and I do our signature dance for this song. Everyone burst out laughing while Alfred and I dance perfectly in time to the song.

_"Peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly!"_ We chant over and over again. I swear to maple that sooner or later Al and I would be exactly like dad. The song comes to a quick end but 'Do you like waffles' by Parry Gripp plays.

_"Do you like waffles?"_ Alfred asks.

_"Yes we like waffles!"_ Everyone answers.

_"Do you like pancakes?"_ I ask.

_"Yea we like pancakes!"_ They answer back.

_"Do you like French toast?"_ We both ask.

_"Yeah we like French toast!"_ Everyone shouts.

_"Doobdadoop can't wait to get a mouth full! Waffles! Waffles! Waffles! Doobdadoop can't wait to get a mouth full!"_

_"Do you like waffles?"_ Alfred asks.

_"Yes we like waffles!"_ Everyone answers.

_"Do you like pancakes?"_ I ask.

_"Yea we like pancakes!"_ They answer back.

_"Do you like French toast?"_ We both ask.

_"Yeah we like French toast!"_ Everyone shouts.

"Well come and get a mouth full," Papa says cutting through our chant. We all turn to see the table filled with breakfast and yes there is waffles, pancakes, and French toast. 'Bazooka bubblegum' plays in the background and we all cheer. We all rush over towards the table and take a seat. This is when I realize the random guy.

"Who are you?" I ask him. He looks at me and then smiles.

"Hello I'm Mr. Riley a friend of your parents."

Something tells me that he's a regular person so I just nod my response. I don't take a lot but there is definitely some pancakes on my plate. I grab my wife and pour some of her delicious mapleness over my pancakes. I fight off a moan of pleasure and I chew my food. Papa starts talking about something but I don't fully pay attention. I look outside to see something white move outside the window. I look back to the table.

"U-um please excuse me I'll be right back," I say. Dad and papa's face immediately changes to worry and hold up my hands.

"I'm okay, I just remembered I forgot to do something outside," epic fail excuse but I don't care. They raise an eyebrow but I slip away before they can stop me. I go out through the back door and I look around the back yard. I don't see anything. Hmm I guess it was my imagination. I'm about to turn around when I see the white again in the bushes. I walk over to the bushes and go on my hands and knees. The white thing turns around and I am face to face with a polar bear?

* * *

**Yay another chapter thanks for waiting you guys! Also it's a happy chapter! Mattie meets Kumajiro finally! And you guys thought I forgot him. And yes people I think everyone should have random dance parties. I know I do. In the morning I will always blast my Ipod and dance around. That's just how I roll!**

**Any chocolate my grandma stayed over so I had to spend time with her. Sadly today I woke feeling sick ...sadly it's also nauseous sick so I'm quickly typing this before anything bad happens. Ugh I'm one of those people who gets sick easily or randomly out of no where...So yea thanks for the reviews, favs, alerts, and follows I really appreciate it. Now I'm going to try to not puke my dinner even though I barely ate anything today. Night guys.**


	11. Uhh it's a pillow pet?

**Sorry this is late I sadly gotten worst read bellow to understand. I don't own the Hetalia characters...*sad face***

**Any maple ladies and few male population who is hiding the fact that they are reading this I give to you chapter eleven of Perfection, enjoy~**

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The polar bear tilts its head and slowly crawls towards me. I stay frozen in shock at a polar bear in freaking CALIFORNIA comes closer to me. It reaches it's paw up but it winces and lick its other front paw. I look at it and notice that it's a bit swollen. The poor thing! I cautiously reach forwards and wrap my arms around its tiny body. It gives out a sniff and I pull it slowly towards my body. When it's close enough to wards my body it reaches up and nuzzles my cheek. A small smile appears on my face and I walk back to the house. It would be nice to have this cutie as a pet! I reach the door and my hand is on the knob when I freeze in place.

Wait a second. How will dad and papa react to me having a pet? Let alone a polar bear? I stay there for a second longer and sigh well the little thing needs some help it seems like it hurt its right paw. I zip down my sweater and shielded the polar bear from view. Then I walk inside and quickly run past the dining room.

"Matthew stop," dad says calmly. Crap! I stop.

"Come back in here," he orders. I turn my head and look at him. I try to give him my best poker face but it immediately breaks down when dad gives his no nonsense look. I shuffle from foot to foot and bite my bottom lip. Think! Dad raises an eyebrow and walk into the room.

"What are you hiding young man?" Dad asks me in a calm voice. I gulp and look away from his piercing gaze.

"What are you talking about dad?" I answer his question with a question of my own. He looks at me a while longer and he gets up from his seat. Everyone in the room gets comfy in their seat to view the show. I love you guys but right now you all are bastards. I take a step back as dad comes within an arm length away from me. I look at him nervously and he looks me up and down.

"Matthew what's in your sweater?" He asks patiently.

"What sweater?"

"The red sweater you are currently wearing."

"Oh this sweater! Well I have gum, some money, paper, believe it or not a pen and a pencil, and also a history note. Is there anything in there that you want?" Dad stares at me and begin to squirm.

" else?"

"Umm," an injured polar bear? "Uh a pillow?" My voice goes up an octave at the last part.

"A pillow," he repeats. I nod my head and try to think of an excuse.

"Yes a pillow um I remember I had left it outside to get some air. A-and I seem to h-have forgotten it outs-side. E-eh," Dad's eyebrow raises and mentally slap myself. Crap my damn tick is going to sell me away! Dad opens his mouth to say more when the phone rings loudly through the house.

"I'll get it!" I quickly spit out. I rush out of the room and run into the kitchen to grab the cordless phone. The polar bear squirms a bit but I gently rub its back.

"Hello good morning this is the Kirkland-Bonnefoy residence," I say into the mouthpiece.

"Hello comrade! It's me Ivan da!" a booming, bold Russian accent answers. I let out a sigh of relief. For a second I thought it was Justin or Mark….

"Hello Ivan. What have I done to get a pleasant phone call from you?" I ask him. He chuckles on the other end and sighs.

"Well I heard from Feliciano that you are in a tough spot at school. Also that you pass out a week ago in class. I began to worry because I haven't seen you in mathematics, politics, or Ancient Civilization. You are not one to be tardy, da?" Ivan is one of my very few friends. He's intimidating but he's a real sweet heart when you get to know him. Also he's adorable when he's around the new Chinese student Yao Wang, but sadly everyone avoids him like the plague. Even the teachers grow weary around him.

"Thank you for being so concern Ivan. I really appreciate it. Uh how much did Feli tell you?" I ask nervously.

"Well he told me about your bastard of an ex and that low life of a bully. Also he says that you're having trouble with the World History teacher but he hasn't told me really what's going on. He told me that you needed to tell me not him. I hope it's nothing to serious da," he asks me. I debate whether I should tell him or not. He is my close friend but he's one of those people who are protective about the people he cares about. I sigh and look down to see the polar bear peaking its head out from my sweater giving me a concern look.

"Well this is something I can't just talk over the phone so how about you come over later and we can chat," I tell him. He hums his response.

"That sounds reasonable. Also I'm alone, my sisters went shopping and I don't want to be home when they come back. Natalie will most definitely force me to watch them model their clothes," he explains to me. I hear him shudder on the other end and I can't help but chuckle.

"Well I'll see you later da?" he says to me. I giggle.

"Da," I answer back, "bye Ivan."

"Farewell Matvey," he answers back I giggle and hang up the phone. People really should give Ivan a chance he's actually really sweet. I put the phone back on its charger and I look back down at the polar bear.

"What am I going to do with you?" I ask it. I don't expect an answer so I stroke its hair.

"Matthew are you done with the phone?" Dad asks me. I gulp.

"Yes dad."

"Well come back in here I'm not done with you. I give you five seconds to come back in here," he warns me. Crap that's not enough time to hide the little bear. I sigh and I stalk back into the dining room.

"Yes daddy of mine," I put on my innocent look. His calculating eyes began looking back at where the polar bear is.

"I see you still have the pillow," he says. I look away from him.

"Yes I still have the pillow, I was caught up with talking with Ivan that I forgot to put it away," I hear Alfred hiss at me saying the name. He and Ivan use to date but they broken up after Natalie tried to kill him the fourth time. Now Alfred thinks Ivan is a 'commie' who is trying to brainwash his baby brother. The polar bear shifts in my sweater and I inwardly curse. Why wasn't I smart enough to carry the phone and the polar bear up to my room?

"Matthew seriously what are you hiding?" Dad pushes.

"Uhh"

* * *

**Soo sorry this is short but I really am dying right now. My stomach died on me this week and today was no exception. So I was stuck typing this on my old laptop (not the bastard laptop) in bed, and balancing typing and throwing up. Sadly it got worst so this is why the chapter is so short. (I feel the urge to puke again...) So yay I'm sick in bed with a high fever and bad stomach pain and nausea and I feel like it's getting worst and not better. Oh maple life loves me right now*really heavy sarcasm fills the air*. I will try to update on Sunday...try... *sighs* Well I'm wishing you all a good night...cause I know I'm not going to have one..again. *groan* **

**Ciao for now.**

**Oh wait yea thanks for all the favs, alerts, and reviews it's really nice to go into my email and see you guy leaving nice comments. It makes my pain ease a bit. Geesh my fever induced brain is forgetting to thank all the amazing people who comment and read this...please forgive my idioticness. **

**Well night everyone, ask Britain to send some magic my way to make me feel better...please I hate being sick.**


	12. Important Author Note

Hi people! This isn't GoAnime actually I'm her gay best friend Jesse. The reason I am writing this right now is because my boyfriend and I came over to check on her and we were greeted with the crazy girl not resting and having a mini melt down, for a second I thought it was her douche of an ex boyfriend coming to ask her out for the eleventh time but it was something else. Of course I was mega pissed that she wasn't resting or more importantly sleeping. So you are probably wondering why she's having a meltdown.

Well apparently this morning she was checking her email and she read her comments from Fanfiction. Then she said she came across a comment that told her that her story was reported and that she had to take it down. Well you all knowing that Fanfiction is randomly deleting profiles and or stories at random is occuring still right now. Of course Jace being Jace she has a mini panic attack and she tries to fix this all by herself. So she started on her back up plan which was to create a blog website which would have all the 'inappropriate' stuff on the website. What made me even more pissed is that she was up at 6:00 in the bloody morning trying to fix this it is now almost 4:00 in the afternoon. Now she looks even worst and I feel like I'm going to rip my hair out. Anyway moving on Kyle (my cutie of a boyfriend, just to let you know I'm considered the 'uke' in the couple *sigh* and yes I do read anime/manga and I do like yaoi...obviously) looked at the comment and suggested that she keep the story up just sensor the parts that are deemed not okay, while her blog has the bad parts included. She looks at him like he's a genius (which he is, well that's just me boasting) and was about to do it when I snatch the laptop out of her lap. I scold her telling her not do anything and we'll (a.k.a Kyle because he's the computer genius) will do all the transferring of the chapters for her. She was about to put up a fight but I quickly shut her up. So I ordered her to rest while we do it.

So this is how we came to this. We hope (Kyle and I) that Fanfiction will give her awhile before they do anything to her story so that she can change it to be within their regulations. Honestly I want her to rest but she's so worried about the damn story being taken down. So to her followers the story would be modified please don't be upset at her, she hates getting into trouble or getting to much attention. It will take awhile to change all the chapters but I'm making sure she doesn't touch the laptop until she's able to not complain about being dizzy. Right now I'm on her computer while Kyle is beside her on her bed working on her laptop about the blog. And finally Jace has fallen asleep, thank god.

Thank you to everyone who has read this story and comment she really appreciates it. Once again she will continue the story she's just going to be as creative as she can and rewrite the inappropriate parts in the story. Honestly you guys who are reading this makes her ridiculously happy and if she's happy I'm happy. Well not right now because one she's sick, two she's not resting as much as I want her to, three someone just added more stress to her, and four she won't tell me when Mr. Smithers, Justin, and Mark are going to die... I know that last one is quite random but I really want those three to die, like right now. Anyway moving on once again thank you. The blog isn't the most beautiful one out there but it gets the job done.

**This is the blog www dot goanime16 dot blogspot dot ca** Yea just replace the word dot with and actual period and take away the spaces.

Also her other story I'm normalnormal is going to be updated today it's just that I'll be doing it. Yay so that story will have my own commentary in there instead of her's. So if you are one of those people who were patiently waiting for an update just give me a few minutes and it'll be up.

Thank you for reading this and not virtually killing me because I'm not the author. Yea she's having much needed sleep right now so you can't hate me too much. Anyway bye for now oh wait that's not what she usually say.

Ciao for now

Jesse


	13. Asthma attack at midnight

**Hey guys it's Kyle this time not Jesse or Jace. Go to the author note below to understand. Any my best friend owns nothing.**

**Ladies and Gentlemen (Yay I'm one of them) I present to you chapter 12 of Perfection.**

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The polar pops its head out from my sweater and yawns. Everyone's eyes pop out of the heads and I feel my body freeze up. Oh maple. The polar bear whines a little and nuzzles my face.

"Oh my maple the pillow came alive like, like that commercial….it's a pillow pet…yeah," what the hell did I just say? The air is quiet for a couple of minutes and then Alfred explodes into laughter and everyone turns their attention to him. I take this as my chance and I make a run for it to my bedroom.

"Matthew get back down here young man!" Dad yells. I yank open my door and close it. Sadly I pulled it too hard causing the door to slam loudly. I lock my door and slip the polar bear out of my sweater. I hear feet running up the stairs and I try not to panic. I gently put the polar bear on my bed and it yawns. I lift the wounded paw and as gently as I can I put a little pressure on it. He cries out when I squeeze and I feel my heart momentarily stop.

"I'm so sorry little guy. I guess you sprain it. But the more important question is how the heck did you get in my backyard? Aren't you supposed to be in Canada?" I ask the polar bear. He leans in and licks me on my cheek I can't help but giggle at his action.

"Matthew Jean-Pierre Kirkland-Bonnefoy you better open this door or else you'll be in huge trouble!" Dad yells through my door. I squeak and hide the polar bear in my closet. I walk over to my door and take a deep breath but another hard beating on my door interrupts me, the poor thing. I open the door ever so slowly and see dad's green eyes glowing. I gulp and open my door wider.

"Hey dad what's up?" I ask as casually as I can.

"Oh nothing much. Just that I saw a polar bear in your sweater," he imitates my tone.

"Pfft dad you're always seeing things that nobody else sees. Maybe that polar bear was just like Tinkerbell, and your witch friend uhh…Jerry Lotter…" I try to convince dad. He gives me a harsh stare and his breathing gets quicker. His body begins to shake violently and I slip past him until the both of us are out in the hallway. Crap I got the name wrong with the witch didn't I?

"A WITCH! Matthew you…you…"Dad stutters.

"Gah Run away! Dad's pissed I repeat run away!" I scream at the top of my lungs. I run down the stairs as fast as I can.

"Ahhhhh He's going to kill me! Ahhh run away! Run far far away!" I scream, "Papa save me! He's going to put a spell on me or even worst!" I freeze spot and stare off into the distance in terror.

"Or worst he'll make eat his cooking! Ahhhhhh I'm sorry god! I don't want to die this way!"

"Matthew!" Dad hollers. I stare at the direction of the voice.

"Every man and woman for themselves!" I scream and dive underneath the dining table. I hear dad enter the dining room and I keep as quiet as I can.

"Mon cher why on earth are you screaming like that?" Papa says cautiously. Even though I can't see him I know dad's eye is twitching.

"He called HARRY POTTER a witch Francis. Harry is a bloody warlock! A bloody warlock you bloody git!" Dad yells at papa.

"Wait isn't he a witch though? He wears the same outfit as a witch and he has the broom and junk like that," Alfred asks dad. I feel the temperature drop in the room. Alfred you are now just asking for death now….you really are asking for death on freaking silver platter.

"Alfred come to daddy," dad says in a sickly sweet voice. I can feel Alfred's fear now. He should be scared, very, very scared.

"Uh no thanks I think where I am is fine enough and safe," Alfred mumbles out.

"No I just want to give you a big hug," Dad says. I hear feet shuffling. I look underneath the tablecloth and look to see Alfred in front of dad. Alfred these are one those moments where you stupidness is showing. I love you so much believe me I do. But right now I'm not coming to save you from dad. Dad smiles and in a blink of an eye, he has his hands on Alfred and he's shaking Alfred like a rag doll. Damn for a really short man he's really strong….

"Gah I'm sorry don't kill me! Please don't ki-" Alfred stops in mid sentence. Oh my maple I just witness my dad killing my brother who I secretly love more than a brother. Actually I realize that everyone is not moving and the watching something. What the heck are they looking at? I continue to stare at them until I feel something swat at my nose. I look down to see the polar bear leaning on his non-wounded foot and looking up at me.

"Crap." I say. Okay I have two options. Plan A is scoop up the polar bear and make a run for it or plan B where I continue to hide underneath the table and pretend that I don't see the polar bear. The white bear growls softly, leans up and lick my cheek. Like he's apologizing. You traitor you were suppose to be in the closet not down here with my fire breathing dad/dragon.

"Oh my maple the pillow pet walked off my bed," I say lamely. I suck at lying so much. It's really sad. I hear my cell phone go off in a distance and I grab the polar bear and for once I act as cool as Alfred. Pretending the bear is a football, I expertly dodge my dad and Alfred, dive in between papa's legs, jumping back on my feet, no hand front flip over a stool and ending everything with a barrel roll. I look back for a quick second to see everyone's mouth wide open.

"Yea Alfred's not the only one who can act ninja," I say while snapping my finger like a diva. I run towards my cell phone and run back upstairs to my room. This time I don't hear anyone chasing me. I let out a sigh and answer my phone.

"Hello,"

"Greetings comrade, I'm almost at your place," Ivan says on the phone. Oh right Ivan I forgot all about him.

"Oh hey, actually don't ring my doorbell just text me when you're outside and we can walk to the park," I instruct him.

"Alright if that's what you want Matvey," Ivan says in a confused voice.

"Yes this is very important. Remember don't ring just text," I repeat.

"Okay goodbye Matvey, farewell," Ivan says.

"Bye Ivan," I say. I then look down at the polar bear.

"You are coming with me. Who knows what will happen to you if I leave you," I tell the bear. He cocks his head to the side and I bite my lip.

"I better name you shouldn't I? Hmmm how about Chaka?" I look at the bear but I shake my head, "Nah that's not for you." After two minutes of going through names I finally find one that suits him.

"Your name is Mr. Kumajiro," I tell me. Mr. Kumajiro reacts to this name and licks my face.

"I guess you like it as well. Well that's good," My cell phone goes off and I reach for it. I unlock my blackberry to see a text from Ivan saying that he's outside. I sigh and grab a piece of paper and pen.

_Dear well everyone,_

_Don't worry about me I just went somewhere with Ivan. I have my phone with me so you can always just call or text and if I don't respond just call Ivan because I'll be with him. Yeah… That's it._

_Love,_

_Mattie_

_P.S. uhh you guys must be hallucinating because I didn't see a polar bear. Really maybe you guys should check out a doctor or something…Well bye._

I put down my pen and sneak out of my bedroom. I slowly creep out of my bedroom and look around for any signs of life. Everyone is at the table talking about something so as quiet and ninja as I can I put the note on the fridge and I sneak outside to see Ivan there waiting for me.

"Hey Matvey."

**XXXOh my maple a line breaker!XXX**

Ivan and I are on the swings. My favourite thing at the park, because I love the feeling of being high in the air. It makes me feel free and it feels like I don't have any burdens on me.

"So my first question is Matvey why did you sneak out of your house?" Ivan asks.

"Well my dad is kinda pissed about me having Kuma," I reply while stroking the little polar bear who fell asleep on my lap.

" Okay and where did you find the polar bear?" He asks.

"In my backyard this morning," I say nervously. He nods his head while gently swings back and forth.

"Alright the important question. What did the teacher do to you? Everyone seems really upset about him da?" He asks me. I feel my stomach twist and I bite my lip. Okay its just Ivan he's not going to do anything.

"Well..uh…well Mr. Smithers has been raping me for seven years now," I say quietly. I hear the creaking of the swing stop and I keep my eyes on Kuma.

"Matvey please tell me you lying da?" Ivan says cautiously. I look up at his face and see anger, pain, and fear in his eyes.

"Da he did. I really wish I were lying to you Ivan. I wish I were lying to everyone," I whisper to him. I hold back the tears that threaten to fall. I bite my lower lip hard and look back down at Kuma. Sadly, one tear falls down on my cheek leaving a wet path following right behind it.

"And you tell me this now?" He asks carefully.

"Ivan I'm telling all you guys this now. No one knew until recently. I'm so sorry Ivan. I was so scared that he was going to kill me and you guys," I reply to him. I look back up to him to see pure anger in his eyes. His violet eyes seem to be glowing, I feel his power of being the Russian representative swirl around me.

"What happened to him?" He asks me really quietly.

"I don't know after he raped me last week I passed out and I've been home ever since," I answer. He nods his head and resume slowly pushing himself back and forth.

"Please forgive me Ivan," I say quietly, "I don't want you to think I'm weak, pathetic or even worst, oh Ivan don't stop being my best friend please don't!" I beg Ivan.

"Matvey stop worrying yourself. You were the victim here, you did nothing wrong da. You were just frightened by that vile, pathetic excuse of a man," he reassures me. I nod and look over to see the ice cream truck. I get up, disturbing poor Kuma in the process and grab Ivan's hand.

"Ivan can we not talk about this anymore, can we get ice cream instead?" I ask him desperately. He looks at me and I see the dangerous anger stop swirling around him and in his eyes. He gives me one of his rare true smiles and gets up off the swing. We run towards the truck and we place our orders.

After we get our ice cream we sit back on our swings. I lick at my maple vanilla chocolate chunk ice cream, while he licks at his strawberry and crème ice cream, Ivan kindly pays for both of our orders even though I tried to talk him out of it. The air is fill with sounds of us licking our ice cream. Kuma tries to get a lick but I hold it out of his reach.

"No Kuma this is mine," I say in a playful voice. I giggle and nuzzle his nose.

"You know Matvey I think Mr. Kumajiro is the best thing that happen to you recently," Ivan says. He eyes the both of us and smiles a small one.

"That polar bear is making you less depress than you usual self. I think you should keep it. He seems to keep you calm as well," he further expands. I smile and lick at my ice cream.

"Thanks for listening Ivan," I say quietly, "Thanks for everything."

"No problem Matvey. You are my beset friend da." Ivan says to me.

**XXXOh my maple another oneXXX**

"Oh Mr. Kumajiro the day went by so fast. Ivan and I lost track of time. It's now dark," I tell the polar bear. I continue to slowly walk back home. After a lot of convincing I finally got Ivan to go home instead of walking me home. I look up at the beautiful starry sky and sigh. The air has gotten colder and I can't help but shiver a bit. The stars twinkle and gleam up in the sky smiling at me and beckoning me to play with them. I remember the time when Alfred told me where all the constellations were. That was awhile back and I can't help feel my heart beat faster.

"Alfred," I say quietly. I hug Kuma closer to my body and sigh like a love struck teenage girl.

"Oh Kuma how can I love him. Well anyone can fall for him but me out of everyone. I should be the one who shoves him into the crowd of desperate girls. I shouldn't trying to keep him away from them like some jealous wife," I sigh heavily, "Why do we have to be siblings?" I ask both Kuma and the stars. Neither one of them answers so I shake my head and continue walking home.

I hear walking behind me but I ignore it. Kuma starts to growl in a threatening way not in his cute way. I feel all the hairs at the back of my neck stand up. My heart accelerates but I try to remain calm. I see the stoplight turning yellow and I make a run for it across the street. When I reach the curb the light is red and I hear a car screech and someone swearing at someone. I turn to see someone in a black hoodie talking to the pissed person in the car.

I use this as my opportunity to slip away. I still feel my heart racing and I hear the feet echoing behind me. Lucky for me my house is two houses down. As calmly and as I can I reach into my pocket and pull out my key. I hear the person pick up the pace and I break into a run and I sprint as fast as I can. I stick the key in and yank open the door. I feel an asthma attack coming on but I try to quiet it. I pull out the key and see the man making a run towards the door. Kuma starts to growl really loudly and I begin to show first signs of an asthma attack. I finally get the key out of the door. The man is right my door and I scream and slam the door in his face.

I lock the two locks as quickly as I can and I feel myself drop to the ground. Kuma is torn between growling at the door and whining. While I just continue on my asthma attack.

* * *

**Hey guys it's me Kyle Jesse's awesome as ever boyfriend. We would like to say that I typed this well I didn't think this up my imagination sucks like crap GoAnime told me what to type so yea. She felt so guilty for making you guys wait so long while she slept. (Well being forced by Jesse. The poor thing...meaning GoAnime not Jesse)**

**Well GoAnime is doing much better she still has a cough and the occasional dizzy spell (which is why I typed it and not her) so Jesse still ordered her not to touch the computer. While we were reading all of you guys comments Jesse was blushing like the cutie patootie he is!( He's going to kill me for typing that on the Internet) He says thank you (Gah I love to see him blush I thank yoiu guys as well!) as so do I!**

**Thank you guys for the kind words GoAnime hasn't read any of them yet but I know for sure she will be happy and smiling when she finally gets the chance. So yeah. I am now going to snuggle with my awesome boyfriend while we play card games with GoAnime. I will either update the blog tonight or tomorrow cuz we're having an sleepover at GoAnime place! Woot! **

**And one more thing I want to ask you guys. You know fanpress well Jace (GoAnime) has this awesome story/book with adventures and stuff about how Jesse and I came to be, it is so cute and awesome! Also it's about how Jesse learned he was gay and everything also there is some hilarious scenes involving the three of us...anyway I think you're catching my drift. I will love if you guys in your comment beg/ask her to put up the story because all of us in her friends group want her to put it up on fanpress but she won't do it because she's scared. So please! PRETTY PLEASE WITH JESSE IN A CUTE CHERRY OUTFIT ON TOP (don't get any ideas though he's mine) tell her to put up the story. I honestly love it and there is not enough gay stories out there in the world. **

**Thank you for listening to me beg at the last part and I hope you guys enjoyed to chapter. Thanks for everything and thank you sooooo much to the peeps who ask her to put up the story. I'll also edit this later because Jesse looks kinda pissed...I don't know why so I'm going to check up on him.**

**As GoAnime says Ciao for now!**


	14. Dreaming

**I'm BAAAACK *shot*. Well if you thought I died, I did not.*shot, shot* I was going through the most horrendous writer's block that I ever had in my life. Any chocolate chip cookies, ladies and few male population *cough**cough* Jesse and Kyle *cough* *cough* I present to you Perfection chapter thirteen.**

* * *

A note slides through the bottom of the door, and shake. I try to control my wheezing and I slowly reach for the note. I open it and my breath catches while I read it.

"Dear Shit head,

If you get this letter then that means the man didn't get you. Damn what a drag. Anyway if you thought that you have escaped us then you got another thing coming. Wait until we get our hands you and you won't have to worry about killing yourself. We'll do it for you! Do you know why? Cuz you deserve to die! Now why don't you be a good little slut of a boy and come to the forest at nine o'clock next week Friday night. If you tell anyone where you are going you are so screwed homo.

Justin and Mark"

I let out a loud scream and crumple up the paper. Crap I shouldn't have screamed. My breath hitches and my throat tightens more painfully. I cough loudly and I try to catch my breath. Mr. Kumajiro whines and gently paws at my leg. I hear running coming to the front foyer where I am and my lungs continue to beg for air. As coordinated as I can I shove the note into my pocket and tears fall down my face from the horrible pain.

"What the bloody hell is going on?" Dad yells at me. His face showing a frustrated look but that immediately changes when he sees the gasping mess that is me.

"Oh my god, Matthew! Ah I'll be right back," he says in a panic. He runs to the kitchen and I hear more voices joining in. Then I hear a loud 'move the bloody hell out of my way' and dad appears in front of me. He puts my emergency inhaler in my mouth and he sprays the medicine into my mouth. Deja vu moment right now only it's with dad instead of Alfred.

When I'm able to catch my breath I push the inhaler out of my mouth and try to stop the shaking in my body. Kuma climbs onto my lap and tries to comfort me but I don't take notice of him. Who the heck was that and why did Mark and Justin send him to me? Somebody yells at me and shakes me gently. I kind of snap out of my daze and look to see a worried dad in my field of view.

"Matthew are you alright lad? What happened for you to have an asthma attack? Also why did you scream?" Dad asks me. I don't answer and just try to figure out why this is happening to me. I stare at him with probably a dumb and lost look because he screams for papa. Instantly everyone appears and papa rushes towards dad and I.

"What's wrong mon cher?" Papa asks in a fright.

"He won't respond Francis. He's just staring off! Francis!" Dad screams at papa. He starts to cry and his body begins to shake like mine. Papa gingerly takes me out of dad's arms and he gently touches my cheek. Kuma cries out but dad carefully picks up the distressed polar bear.

"Mon petit it's papa. Your scaring dad right now so I want you to at least shake your head or do something," Papa says as calm as he can. My mind stops and black dots dance in my vision. I try to blink them away but they stay and grow bigger by the second. Something in the back of my head tells me that I'm going to pass out. So I gratefully allow myself to black out.

**XXoXXo**

I shiver and sit up. I sit up to fast and the world spins around. Maple I need to stop doing that! After the feeling disappears I look around to see that I am in my bedroom. The sun shines softly through my open window and a gently but cool late spring breeze blows. I shudder and look at my Ipod docking station. The time says eleven thirty nine AM, also the date says Monday. What? The last thing I remember is that it was Saturday! I reach forward to my Ipod and play it. Big girls don't cry by Fergie plays quietly. Her voice fills my room and I decide to have this song on repeat.

I sigh and slowly ease myself out of my bed, and walk over to my window. I seat myself on top of the window bench seat and look out in the backyard. My parents beautiful garden colours the bright grass canvas. Bright reds, soft blues, untameable oranges, royal purples bends and sways with the wind. A slight urge to paint nags at me but I swiftly dismiss the idea because my art box is still locked. I bring my legs up, pull them close to my chest, and I lean my head on my knees. The cute little pond in the corner shimmers and gleams from the sun and I see a couple little ducklings swim on its smooth surface causing tiny ripples. I let out a sigh.

I let one hand reach towards the glass and I spread out my fingers on the cool see through object. I strong wind blows and my hair whips gently around my face. I sigh softly and slowly sing along with Fergie. My voice starts off quietly and then as I grow more comfortable my voice builds. I haven't singed since I was a kid but I'm in the mood to sing. As the song slowly dies down so does my voice. I walked over to my docking station and change the song to instrumental and let the music fill my senses. I sit down back the window bench and resume my previous position. I close my eyes slowly and let the song take me on a journey.

I walk in a beautiful clearing and I try to remember where I have seen this field. I shake it off and look around until I see younger me looking up at me and I gasp. He smiles gently at me and hugs Mr. Kumajiro. Wait, what I just found Kuma how can younger me have him. Also where is Kuma I didn't see him earlier. I stop myself from over thinking and I just look at mini me. He outstretches his hand and I reach for it and take it. We begin to walk and before I know it we're flying in the air. I gasp as I watch colours soar below us and never ending blue rockets above us. I take in the beauty that surrounds us while mini me guides us. We begin to slow down and I see dad and papa smiling at us. They wave at us and point forward. I give them a puzzled look while smaller me nods his head and heads in the direction they pointed at. We fly in that direction until I see four speckles.

We then pass Feliciano, Ludwig, Lovino, and Antonio waving at us. I smile and wave back at them as well. They point a bit to the left and waves goodbye. Smaller me changes the direction to where the four instructed and we fly. The air whips around me and I reach my hand up into the air and pretend to touch a cloud. I look back down just in time to see Elizaveta and Roderich. I wave at them and they wave back, they point to the right and mini me and I readjust our course. I look back and wave goodbye. They smile and wave goodbye as well. When I can't see them anymore I look back forward. I see us approach a forest and we fly above the trees. I gasp at how pretty the view is and I unconsciously reach down. My hand touches the top of a tree and I let out a giggle as the leaves tickles my hand. Mini me smiles and we slowly start to descend into a field filled with flowers. As we land butterflies flutters around us as we discover their hiding spots. I chuckle but immediately stop as I see a figure in the distance. He slowly walks to mini me and I. My heart begins to beat faster as I recognize the hair and eyes, but mostly his smile that he gives when he's a bit nervous. Perfection stops in front of me.

Mini me gently tug at my hand and I look at myself. He gives me an encouraging smile and lets go of my hand. He holds Kuma with both hands and he waves farewell. I give him a shock look and then I gulp. I wave goodbye and watch as he flies away leaving me with him. I slowly turn and my breath hitches. Perfection's beautiful blonde hair blows with the wind along with his white clothes. He looks like an angel. He closes the gap between us and he cups my face. Silky smooth voice exits his mouth and charges my senses.

"My Mattie you look stunning in this dress. You look like an angel." Excuse me did he just say dress? I look down at myself to see that I am indeed wearing a flowy white dress. I blush. I'm not much of a cross dresser but I have to admit the dress hugs me in all the right places. As I contemplate this is my head I am pulled away from my train of thought as I feel soft lips come in contact with my forehead. I look up and touch the place where he kissed me.

"Matthew your hair is beautiful wheat colour. Your eyes are like sparkling lavender jewels. Your skin is so soft and smooth. Your body is beautiful. Everything about you is breath taking but what really get me is your loving heart. Matthew I love everything about you. I love the air around you, but most importantly," he recites to me. So much love is in his eyes and my heart beats rapidly. He leans in gently and as the words come out of his mouth he grows closer to my lips.

"Most importantly Mattie, I love you," the confession gets quieter as his lips come into close contact with mine. Our lips finally touch and my heart explodes. I let out a pathetic cry and I reach and run my hand through Alfred's hair. He pulls me closer and wraps his arms around my waist. I feel tears run down my face but I dismiss them.

He does love me.

**In English class with Alfred who is asleep also**

I taste a bit of Mattie's tears enter our kiss. His delicious plump lips makes me shiver from the need that I feel to have more. When we pull away I see pure happiness and love in his eyes. He looks absolutely amazing in the dress. It had spaghetti straps and it hugs Mattie's body, showing off his slightly feminine body. It flows elegantly whenever the wind blows. Am I awesome at dreaming up awesome outfits or what? I silently thank the younger me for guiding me to this field but it's kind of weird that younger Matthew led Mattie here.

"Do you really love me Alfred?" He asks in his usual quiet and frail sounding voice. I smile and bring him once again closer to my body.

"More than anything, I would give up my life if I ever loose you," I tell him. An adorable blush creeps onto his porcelain like skin. My heart races as I find myself falling harder for my little brother. I hug Mattie as tightly yet at the same time as gently as I can

"I love you Mattie and I'll protect you with my life," I tell him. I hear a quiet sigh from him and a hum.

"I love you so much as well Alfred. I loved you for so long that I've yearned for this day, for this confession. I'm so glad I didn't die or else I wouldn't have heard this or tell you that I love you more than a big brother," he says quietly. I blush but since I'm the hero I force it away.

"I'm glad as well," I whisper in his ear. He leans forward and his eyes close. Oh shit he's going to kiss me this time. I lean forward to meet him halfway. Our lips are almost touching-

"Alfred Franklin Kirkland-Bonnefoy get up or else I'll send you to the office! Damn kids these days have no respect for their elders. If you're so smart why don't you answer the question?" Mr. Bradley yells at me.

"Um sixty nine?" I guess. Mr. Bradley scowls.

"Your twin brother is so gifted yet you're an idiot. I wish the young wasn't so sick. I hope you learn from your brother. He's a prime example of a perfect student," I tune Mr. Bradley out. Bastard how dare you interrupt Mattie about to kiss me. I huff out a breath. Mattie people recognize you it's just you don't apply yourself. People do like you. I look out the window.

Mattie are still asleep? Are you okay? What happened on Saturday night?

* * *

**I'm alive and I feel better! Yay! Oh ya I'm cockblocking Jess and Ky-ky because they've been ignoring me for three weeks so that they can have some "alone time" in other words devour each other. So this would have been up two weeks ago if I wasn't experiencing the worst writer's block ever. Inspiration me after I got bullied. Wait a sec rewind.**

**Two weeks ago I auditioned for my school fashion. Yesterday I found out that I made the cut and I'm a performer/model. Sooo today a friend of mine came rushing towards me and asks me to follow her to the girls bathroom. So I gave her a weird look and follow her to the bathroom. She showed me the bathroom stall door and I felt my heart jump in my throat and I felt like throwing up.**

**On the stall in my ex bully's ex best friend who was also my bully handwriting was the following:**

**"I can't believe that Jace made the fashion show cut and not me. Don't they see that shes an ugly b**** I am way more prettier and smarter than that idiot. When she committed suicide her homo idiot of friends shouldn't have saved her. That skank is lucky that the teachers are so f*****g stupid. Oh yes Jace if you reading this I hope when you try to kill yourself I hope you seriously die this time. Cuz I know you're going to rot in hell! ; )"**

**...I'm actually crying while typing right now, so this is taking longer than I want it to. For people who don't know Jace is one of my nicknames because Jesse got Jay. Well after I read this my friend took a picture of it (That was why I was able to write the message word for word and probably how the teachers, Kyle and Jesse found out) and she asked me if I was okay. I ran out of the bathroom to nearly bump into Kyle and Jesse who were waiting outside the bathroom. I ran outside as fast as I can (Which is fast because I'm on the track team) and cried. I was thirty minutes late for class and so were Kyle and Jesse because they were looking for me and when they found me they were comforting me.**

**Why are people so mean? I did nothing to her but she still hurts me. I just hope that whatever pain that she's going through or reason that she's bullying me for she can find happiness. I just want her to be happy but not by breaking me. So no, I'm not going to go kill myself, because I now know that life is precious. I want to offer the world some happiness before I die and make it a better place. And me killing myself now isn't going to accomplish anything. I'm stronger now and I know that I have people to stand by me. So my bully I hope the pain you feel leaves and that you can find happiness, because happiness is the most amazing feeling.**

**So ya that was lovely day and inspiration. So Sorry this is late I hope you can forgive me, also thank you for all the kind comments. Also Kyle got smacked ten thousand times by me because I was so confused when people started to comment that they want to read my other story. When I read the previous chapter (yes Kyle doesn't have the most amazing English mark) I saw his note. Ya so I smacked him alot. *Sigh* I guess I have no choice but to put it up. I'll sign up for fan press and put up the story, but not now I'm trying to catch up with all my stories**

**Anyway bye people I'm going to figure out life.**


	15. Chillaxing with my Mattie!

**Hey guys I am so sorry this is late. I don't anything because if I did well then I would be a very rich and happy girl. Ladies and few gentlemen who read this (Thank you so much even though you guys are to shy to say hi) I give to you chapter 14 of Perfection please enjoy! *bows**crickets*...oh sad face. *cries to do her homework and study for Bio Genetics test even though it's 12:00 at night...YOU'RE WELCOME!**

* * *

**Alfred's Point of View**

The bell finally rings and I run to my locker. I wonder if Mattie woke up today? My heart speeds up and I slow down my process until I come to a complete stop in the middle of the busy hallway. It feels like my heart is in my throat and ears. On Saturday when Mattie passed out I was so scared. What makes it worse is that I think Mattie is going to brush off Saturday like he's been doing with pretty much everything else. I feel anger shake roughly through me and my breathing pick up. Damn it Mattie I'm the fucking hero I'll protect...I will...because I love you. I sigh and continue down the hall to my locker. As I reach it I hurriedly attempt to open my locker. Sadly it won't open. I repeat this process six times until I let a loud growl.

"Yo Alfred!" a voice yells in my direction. I turn around to see a couple of my football team members walking over towards me.

"Hey guys what's up?" I say as calmly as I can.

"Nothing much, but what about you bro? You look like you're about to murder someone," Ken says to me. I give a fake happy laugh and rub the back of my head.

"Oh my locker is just being an ass. Nothing too bad," I reply. I finally get the damn thing open and I let a happy grunt.

"Well okay dude but we wondering if you're going out to the party tonight. Oh and we have a couple guys who might be interested since you swing both ways, also there are some double double if you know what I mean, " Tyler explains while pretending to be squeezing imaginary large breast. I mentally roll my eyes and try not to sound like a bitch.

"Sorry dudes I have to collect my baby bro's homework and check up on him," I reply while I take my bag out of my locker. I reach for my famous bomber jacket that Mattie bought for me for our birthday (man did I tell you that I love him?) and slip it over my uniform. I hear a whine come from one of the two and I look at them. Both of them with a sour look on their face.

"But dude your our life line. No chick would want to hang out with us unless we have the star quarter back with us. Also you can just check on your brother...wait you have a little brother?" Ken yells the question. I feel one of my eyes twitch and I hold back my shaking.

"Yes, boy who looks almost like me, a couple inches shorter than me, paler complexion, daintier body that looks like a girl, golden wheat colour hair that falls in soft curls, soft lavender eyes, curly long cow lick, shy, quiet, and is always on the honour roll...Matthew J. Kirkland- Bonnefoy...That's my little twin brother...You guys have seen him before." I describe Mattie and try not to pounce on Ken and Tyler. How dare they forget Mattie?

"Oh yeah now I remember him. That shy cutie who blushes when someone talks to him. Man he's the only guy I would be gay for. Anyway I haven't seen him in school lately. What's wrong with him?" Tyler asks. I bite my lip and I half lie. Wait...insert thinking process here...What! 'The only guy I would be gay for?' I hold back a growl and let out a shaky breath.

"Mattie's really sick. You know how frail he is," it is the truth, just not all of it. Also Tyler is lucky that we're at school or else I would have his head by now.

"Oh that sucks. Make sure you tell the little guy that I hope he gets better," Tyler says gloomily.

"Oh tell him I also said that I hope that he gets better as well!" Ken chips in as well. I nod my head not trusting my voice and leave the two males by my locker. This is bad, I think I'm turning into an obsessed, over-protective wife of my little brother who I don't even know if he loves me back.

This is very dangerous.

**XxxDesperateMeasuresbyMarian asTrenchxxX**

After getting pass the rest of the human obstacles at school and starting up my car, I am finally home. I sit in my car in the drive way and look at my house. I see dad's car, oh he's home. Well why wouldn't he be? It's too dangerous to leave Mattie home alone now, but I'm surprise that pops went to work today, his car isn't in the drive way. Mattie is the only one who doesn't have a car. Something about less gas pollution, and exercise.

I continue to sit in my car and look at my house until my stomach growls. I guess I have to go in. I let out a heavy sigh and slowly exit my car. I lock my car and walk to the front door. I search my pockets for my house keys but I can't find them. Where the hell are they? I search around in my backpack to not find them. Where did I put them? I think some more and remember that I forgot them on the kitchen counter.

"Are you serious?" I growl to the door. I stare at the lock trying to use my super hero powers to open the door...it doesn't unlock.

"Fine you stupid door, I'll just ring the doorbell. You know since you're an ass and won't unlock with my awesome super powers," I threaten the door. I ring the doorbell to have no one answer it. I ring again but no one comes still. My eye twitches and I let out and exhale noisily. Really? Just really? I ring the doorbell repetitively then I hear movement behind the door. I cross my arms ready to yell at dad for being so damn slow but my voice catches in my throat.

There rubbing his tired eyes and yawning is Mattie. His maple leaf pyjama pants hug him soft around the waist and flows down. His hair a ruffle mess and wait is he wearing one my pyjama tops. I watch as he lifts his other hand to rub his other eye the top slides off his shoulder. Yep most definitely mine. I blush and take in the lovely view I have been granted to see.

"Hey Alfie did you forget your keys?" Mattie asks in his delicate sounding voice. I stare at him awhile longer while trying to make sense of his words. Then I blush deeply as I remember the dream I had in class earlier and I quickly nod my head feverously. His plump, soft looking lips curl up into a small smile and he sighs.

"You're hopeless sometimes. Well don't just stand there you know this is your house as well," he jokes lightly. He moves to the side and lets me come. I slowly walk into the house and try to control my racing heart. I slip out of my shoes and jacket. Mattie reaches out and takes my jacket and delicately hangs it up in the coat closet. I put away my shoes and blush again. Damn it I need to calm down.

"You know you didn't need to do that Mattie," I tell him. He giggles softly and weaves his soft, small fingers with mine. My heart momentarily stops as Mattie does this.

"I know but I wanted to help you out. Dad just quickly walked up the street to the grocery store to pick up some ingredients for papa. I'll just go make you a snack," he says quietly. He leads me into the kitchen and his warm hand slides out of mine. I hold back a whine from escaping my mouth and I clutch my now cold hand.

I walk to the cupboard and my imaginary conversation with household objects pops up in my head.

Looks at cupboard, and it says, 'What are you looking at I have nothing for you.' I look at the fridge, and it says, 'Haha bitch what are you looking at. Do you really think I have anything for you?' I finally look at the freezer, and it says 'Would you like ice?'.

I groan, "There is nothing to eat!"

Mattie walks up beside me and says, "No Alfred there is nothing that you want to eat. Go sit down and I'll prepare us a snack."

I follow Mattie's order and sit at the kitchen table and watch Mattie take out some fruits and wash them. The air grows into a comfortable silence and the only sound that can be heard is the sound of Mattie chopping fruits. I wonder if this is how it feels to come home to your wife. What am I thinking? I shake my red face and scold myself on the inside.

"Alfie what are you doing?" Mattie asks me curiously. I watch as he puts the cut up fruit and chocolate sauce onto the table, and then look at me with a concern look.

"Nothing! I just er thought I forgot something," I lie to Mattie. He nods his head slowly, not buying the excuse but he just let's it go. He takes an apple slice and dips into the velvet smooth chocolate sauce. He then quickly slips the chocolate covered part into his mouth and bites it. He slowly chews and pays his attention back to me. Act normal Alfred, you're the hero you can't make Mattie worry about you! It's him that needs the attention! I reach for a pear slice and follow the same procedure as Mattie. I watch as he swallows and he opens his mouth.

"How was school today? Do I have homework?" He asks me and he takes the last bite of his apple. I gaze at him for a few heartbeats and then I swallow the pear in my mouth.

"School was as boring as it can get as usual. Serious I want to drop French but sadly I can't. Also you have a little bit of homework nothing to serious. Ya nerd, you need to stop worrying about the non important stuff," I rant a bit. I reach for an apple this time but freeze as I hear him giggle. I look up to see a big smile on his face.

"What's so funny?"

"Last time I checked homework was something important."

"Not really."

"Well without homework you won't understand and practice the lesson completely."

"Yea but I can be awesome and not need to do homework."

"Then how are you going to pass test?"

"Pssha I'll just be a ninja and ace it."

"What about exams?"

"Who needs exams, they're useless."

"Uhh Universities and Colleges need to know your exam marks."

"Pfft who cares about more school?"

"Your future job?"

"Well what's so useful about work? All it does is tire you out."

"Hmm...well don't you need money to pay for bills and other stuff like that. How are you going to afford mickey d's"

"..."

"Yeah I thought so."

I puff out my cheeks and turn my head. Mattie laughs at this and I can't help but join in.

"Alright you win this battle, but you haven't won the war yet," I cry out. He smiles but it's interrupted by a massive yawn. I pop a grape in my mouth and observe Mattie. He looks like he hasn't been sleeping well and his cheeks has a red hue. I reach across the small table and rest my hand on his forehead. Mattie shudders under my hand and mutters cold under his breath.

"Wait here Mattie I'll be back," I order him. I grab another grape and I jog upstairs and I take the thermometer. I jog back to the kitchen and sit back in my seat. Mattie nibbles on a peach slice and he looks deep in thought.

"Mattie open up," I instruct him. He looks up to see the instrument in my hand. He gives me an agitated growl and opens his mouth. I slip the slim object into Mattie's mouth and I wait. After a couple of second the thermometer beeps and I take it out of his mouth. I pierce my lips together and I hear Mattie sigh a defeated one.

"High?"

"Yep."

Mattie gives me a sad look and I feel my heart tug.

"Hey why don't we grab a blanket and watch a movie?" I request to him. I see his face brighten up and he nods his head furiously. I chuckle.

"Alright you grab the movie and blanket and I'll cut some more fruits," I tell him. He nods and leaves the kitchen in search of the items I ask him to get. I take out some more fruits and replace the one Mattie and I ate. They don't look as good as Mattie's but hey they're all going the same place. I add some more chocolate sauce and head out to the living room. I see Mattie there bouncing up and down on the couch.

"Why are you so excited?" I question him.

"Oh nothing but papa buying us Transformers 4: Dark of the Moon," Mattie says smugly. I gasp, put down the fruits and grab the shiny brand new case.

"No way frenchie bought us this? He has now gain some respect points from me!" I yell excitedly. I quickly put in the movie and we watch the awesome, action pack filled movie.

**XxxTeenageDreambyBoyceAvenue xxX**

I smile as the closing credits begin to slide up on the screen. That movie was so beautiful. I-I nearly cried at how amazing it was! I turn my head to ask Mattie what he thinks but I'm greeted with Mattie leaning on me sleeping silently. I smile and gently kiss his forehead. I fix my position on the couch so that I am laying on the couch and Mattie is laying on top of me.

"Sweet dreams Mattie. I love you."

**XxxoxxX**

**Arthur's Point of View**

I look at the list, then look at the cart, then look at the huge line up, and then finally look at the employees casually talking with each other. I feel my patience wearing thin and I begin to tap my foot. Bloody hell will these people just stop talking and do their damn job? I have a sick child at home and his wanker of a twin is going to be home soon. Probably going to bug and disturb the other one. Also the bloody perverted frog is going to be home soon.

I growl as the one person finally leaves the checkout line. Lucky bastard. My stomach growls a bit from hunger and I sigh. Damn I've been in this line for what seems eternity. I hope Matthew is alright.

Earlier when I went to go check up on the little lad, I find him fast asleep sitting on his window bench. I had to lift him up and put him back in his bed, so that his body doesn't cramp up when he wakes up. I hope when he wakes up he sees my note. I continue to worry but my thoughts are interrupted by my cell phone. Oh bugger who can this be? I reach into my pocket and to see that it's Francis who texted me.

**From: Francis B.K.**

**To: Arthur B.K.**

**Title: Are you home?**

_Hey I called home but no one answered. Are you still at the store?_

I sigh and text back.

**From: Arthur B.K.**

**To: Francis B.K.**

**Title: Re: Are you home? **

_Yes I'm still here! The bloody employees are too busy chatting then serving their bloody costumers. Damn wankers!_

I look up to see them finish up the person and my phone buzzes again.

**From: Francis B.K.**

**To: Arthur B.K.**

**Title: ReRe: Are you home?**

_Oh well I'm actually near the store do you want me to wait in the parking lot for you? Or do you want me to come in and help you with the groceries? I know I asked for a lot._

I blush as I read the text and sigh.

**From: Arthur B.K.**

**To: Francis B.K.**

**Title: ReRe: Are you home?**

_You can come in the store. I need someone to stop me from marching up to these wankers and giving them a good piece of my mind! Do they realize I have a sick child to take care of?!_

I huff and move when the line has finally decided to move. My phone goes off again.

**From: Francis B.K.**

**To: Arthur B.K.**

**Title: ReRe: Are you home?**

_No I don't think they know our petit fleur is unwell. Alright I'm walking into the store now. Which line are you in?_

I look up to see a sign with cashier seven.

**From: Arthur B.K.**

**To: Francis B.K.**

**Title: ReRe: Are you home?**

_Hoho Hehe Haha...Oh and cashier 7 _

I hit the send button and sigh for what seems the millionth time this hour. I fight the urge to scream but I feel strong, sturdy hands wrap around my body.

"Frog I think I'm about to punch someone soon," I complain to him. I hear him chuckle and his chest vibrates on my back.

"I would feel the same if I have been waiting as long as you. Well at least we have three more people to go," Francis tries to reassure me. I snort and lean back into the French man's embrace. I won't admit to him I like it though!

"Ha one person feels like three thousand. That's how bloody slow they are going!" I growl. He hums his answer and the person leaves and we move in the line.

"How was work?" I ask Francis. He sighs and I tilt my head up to see his face. I see a tired face looking at me.

"Well my boss finally did something about the protest near the Eiffel Tower but I think another one might start soon. If not soon later," he explains to me.

"Why do your people enjoy protesting?" I ask him.

"Who knows maybe they get a kick on giving me headaches," he mutters. My mouth goes into frown and I move some of Francis's hair out his face.

"Do you have one now?" I ask him.

"Oui but nothing too bad, don't worry about me mon cher," he says with a small smile. I look at him a while longer and sigh. I look back forward and tap my side.

"I'll make you some tea and you can go take a quick nap before you cook," I tell him. Even though I can't see him, I know the frog is smiling.

"I would like that a lot mon cher," he says softly to me. He kisses the top of my head and I can't help myself and I hum my contentment. After several more minutes we finally leave the damn place but not after giving them a piece my mind! As we park in the drive way we see Alfred's car park here.

"Hmm didn't Alfred have a party tonight?" I ask Francis. He slowly nods his head and we both come out of the car. We grab the bags and enter the quiet house. I put the groceries in the kitchen.

"I'm going to go check up of Matthew. I'll be back," I tell Francis. As I am about to go upstairs I hear a soft song playing from the living room. That's strange is it Alfred? I walk into the room to find the most adorable thing ever. I smile and I quickly rush over to go fetch Francis.

"Francis! Come with me," I whisper to him. He raises an eyebrow but follows me still. I show him the scene I came to. There on the couch is Alfred cuddling with Matthew and Transformers menu song playing softly in the background. I feel Francis snake his arms around my waist and I lean back into him.

"Why don't we go back in the kitchen and leave these two to sleep? We'll wake them up when it's time to eat," He mutters softly. I nod and quickly turn off the television. Once it's off Francis takes my hand and leads me into the kitchen.

"Well the was tres cute, non?" He says to me. I nod and I turn on the kettle to boil some water for some tea. As the water heats up I grab two mugs and some chai tea. I watch as Francis packs away some food and leave some out.

"Hey Francis what are we having for dinner?"

"I was thinking about a light soup for Mathieu and chicken breast with steamed vegetables and potatoes on the side for us and Alfred." My stomach grumbles at the thought of the food.

"Francis when are we going to tell Matthew about the news?" I ask him cautiously. He stops moving and he looks at me. He puts down the bread and walks towards me. He leans down and kisses me on my lips lovingly. I sigh into the kiss. Then he pulls away.

"We'll tell him when he feels well, but not now. He's too sick," he replies to me.

"Well we have two months to tell him. We can't just keep it to ourselves," I tell him. He nods his head and he kisses me again only this time slower. I shudder from the temptation. It has been ages since Francis and I did anything ever since we learn about Matthew's secrets. It's been awhile since anyone relaxed. I'm glad the kids were able to get some rest though.

"Mon cher let us worry about that for another day. Tonight let us rest," he utters softly. He kisses me and this time there was so much more passion. Before any of us knew it we were a panting mess from our serious make out. We lean in for another go at it but the kettle interrupts us. We pull apart and I glare at the kettle like it's the most evil thing I've seen. I stomp over to the bloody thing and take it off the heat. I then walk back to Francis.

"Why don't I finish up dinner then we can continue after we put the kids to bed," he says seductively. My face heats up and I shudder with want. He grins devilishly and kisses me passionately one more time. I pant slightly as we are connected with a thin thread of saliva.

"I hope I'll be able to wait though," he says.

"Me too," I agree with him. We smile a happy smile at each other.

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**Hello everyone sorry this one is late as well. I've been ridiculously busy and the sad part is that I still have more stuff to do. I have to sadly stay on short because I spent the night typing this instead of my dreaded homework and study. So I'm going to go do that now. I hope you guys enjoyed this update and I'll try to update as soon as I can again. Love you guys!**

**Ciao for now!**


	16. Slipping back to Insanity

**Hey guys yesh I'm alive. Also the fashion show was last week! Yay all the money we raised is a lot. We sold out on Thursday and nearly again on Friday. Children in Kenya will now get money for school, water, and food and the amazing thing is that I helped save a child's life. Oh maple I feel like I'm going to cry because I'm so happy! Jess, Kyky my childhood friend Tophy (Chris) and I are so proud of ourselves and happy! *Happy dance* Oh yea thanks to the people who supported me being a model and helping me with a tough spot with my ex bully. Anyway enough about me. Here is the chapter that you guys have been patiently waiting for. Ladies and few gentlemen I present to you chapter 16! Yay *crickets* Oh sad face...**

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"Alfred," I say to him.

"Mattie do you know what song I haven't heard in forever?" He asks me naughty like.

"Hmm what is it?" I ask him, but he just gave me a flirty smile and starts to sing.

"Baby turn around, and let me see that sexy body go, bump bump bump yeah" Alfred sings erotically. My heart beats faster as Alfred walks closer to my body. After dinner we headed upstairs to his bedroom (which is actually almost as clean as mine) and we began to listen to music, and now here we are with him singing Bump bump bump by B2K ft. . I blush and Alfred grows closer his singing getting more provocative.

"That is all I want to see, baby show me come on" Bit by bit he closes the distance between us until we're hair lengths away.

"Baby turn around, and let me see that sexy body go yeah bump bump bump, the way you throwing that thing at me uh yeah I can take it" his deep lust filled voice huskily sings the chorus. A powerful shudder racks through my body and I bite my lip.

"Alfie," I try not to pant. Alfred snuggles my neck and gently blows on it.

"Ahhh Alfie what are you d-doing?" I ask quietly while I try not to latch on to him and beg for more.

"You know I like it when your body go **bump bump bump**," he sings the last part hoarsely. He takes his face from my neck and he reaches for my random sensitive cowlick curl. When his rough calloused fingers grab a hold on my unruly curl I can't help but let a breathy moan escape my mouth.

"Mmm Alfie~'' I groan lowly, "W-what are you seriously doing?" Sadly I only receive a dark sexual smirk from him. He brings my curl into his mouth knowing what would happen. I let out a breathy whine and my body automatically grind on Alfie. My face glows red and I gaze at Alfred trying to figure out what he is doing but he does the unspeakable.

Alfred hums the chorus of the song and every time he reaches the bump, bump, bump part he hums harder. My curiosity was bitch slapped and drop kicked out of the window and my teen hormones kick in. The person I love is doing this to my body and I would be simply be rude to ignore him. He unlatches himself from my curl and I breathe harder and continue to moan. Little electric shocks run through my body, turn my stomach and goes straight to my vital regions.

"A-aahh m-maple," I moan. Before I can do anything else Alfred kisses me roughly and I let out a needy whine and wrap my arms around his neck. His hands slowly travel slowly and patiently down to my butt and give it a hard squeeze. Oh maple! I let out a strangled moan and he detaches himself from my lips.

"Baby turn around and let me see that body go, bump bump bump," he sings with the smirk still in place. His hand slips into my pyjama pants

"Matthew lad it's morning hun. You need to eat breakfast and take your medication. Then you can go back to sleeping," dad says gently. Wait- WHAT! My eyes snap open and I blink rapidly.

"Huh?" I ask with a very confused look on my face. Dad chuckles and straightens up.

"Alfred, bump, bump, bump, curl?" I ask with a confuse look still plastered on my face. It's now dad's turn to give me a baffle look. I feel pressure on my stomach to find Mr. Kumajiro looking up at me with curious eyes.

"Honey I think that was a dream," he says slowly, "after dinner you and Alfred were so tired that you two retired to your beds earlier than usual." I nod and actually take in my surroundings.

"You look like you glowing. Did something good happen while I was asleep dad?" I ask him curiously. Dad's face goes a deep red with a heavy blush and squeaks.

"Nothing special...I-I just had a really g-goodnight sleep. Very good night sleep and it's been a long while since that happened," he says quietly. What? Dad hasn't been sleeping well?

"Well as long as you feel good," I mumble but dad's face goes even redder.

"Well Matthew lad I have to run into work for a couple of hours, so your breakfast is downstairs. Mr. Kumajiro already ate so don't worry about him. I gave him some tuna. Make sure you don't let any strangers into the house. Also don't roam outside. I hope you'll be alright," dad's voice drifts off at the end. I blink as the words settle into my mind. I'll be home alone. My mind wonders onto topics that I really shouldn't be even come close to thinking about so I immediately stop myself.

"I'll be fine dad. Just hurry along I don't want you to be late because of me," I tell him. He nods but still doesn't look convince. I look to my right and sigh but I come face to face with a picture of Alfred and I at the beach. Alfred's nicely tan muscular chest just begging me to lick him. Aaannd then I remember my dream. I feel my lower regions throb and I bite back a moan. Maple dad you have to go now! I turn my head to have Kuma smack lightly my cheek. I grab his paw and put it down.

"Dad I promise you if anything happens I'll call you right away. Now go on before your boss gets upset," I urge dad to take the bait and get the hell out.

"Alright but I'm dead serious about calling me," he says sternly. Dad rests his hand a little too close my problem and I nod feverously. He sighs and get up. He stretches a bit and walks towards my bedroom door. He gives me one more final look and he walks down the stairs. I sit there silently, nervous to move because of my problem. When I hear the door open and close and a faint car engine is when I let out the moan that has been trying to escape my lips. I look at the picture again and shudder as I remember the touches Alfred did to my body. Maple I'll go take a cold shower and then eat breakfast. I push Kuma off of me and I force myself out of bed and shuffle to the bathroom. As I turn on the bath faucet I dare myself to look at the mirror. As I look at myself I feel self hatred brew in my mind and stomach. I quickly turn away from the mirror and I hop into the freezing shower and let out a little yelp, but I feel myself calm down. I let out a relieved sigh and start my cold shower.

**Mattie Likes Maple Syrup**

I walk to my bedroom with a clean mouth, naked but dry body and I drop my towel onto my bed. I can't help myself but giggle at a memory. It was of Alfred and I's first time home alone when we were14. Al kept on talking about the things he was going to do, but really the only risqué thing he did was pee with the bathroom door open. But what made it even more hilarious was the face he made when he did it. It looked like he was waiting for himself to get caught by one of our dads. I kinda hoped that they did walk in on him just so I can see the look on his face. I know that's mean but seriously his face was so funny. I laughed for a good twenty minutes to earn myself a couple smacks from him but it was worth it. Wait I have that on my camera. Oh maple!

I let out a hard laugh and after awhile I wipe away my tears. Well I'm most definitely going to look at that later. I walk over to the closet to pick out a nice warm sweater. I pick my favourite fluffy white one with polar bear ears on the hoodie and I walk to grab my fluffy pyjama bottoms to match it. Hmmm speaking of polar bears I wonder where Kuma went...oh well. I walk over to my dresser but trip over a slip of paper. I reach down and grab it. What is this?

_"Dear Shit head,_

_If you get this letter then that means the man didn't get you. Damn what a drag. Anyway if you thought that you have escaped us then you got another thing coming. Wait until we get our hands you and you won't have to worry about killing yourself. We'll do it for you! Do you know why? Cuz you deserve to die! Now why don't you be a good little slut of a boy and come to the forest at nine o'clock next week Friday night. If you tell anyone where you are going you are so screwed homo._

_Justin and Mark"_

Oh yeah. I forgot all about this. I feel my mood drop like a ton of bricks and let out a frustrated cry. I walk over to my cell phone to see that its Tuesday today. As I'm about to pull on my clothes my cell phone goes off.

**From: Sexy As Hell Alfred **

**To: Maple Master Matthew**

**Title: Bored and Miss you**

_Hey...boring as hell in math class without you. Miss you! You better be resting though D:_

My heart skips a beat as I read the text from Alfred and I can't help but giggle.

**From: Maple Master Matthew**

**To: Sexy As Hell Alfred**

**Title: Re: Bored and Miss you**

_Alfie you should be paying attention in class. Also if you get caught your phone is going to get taken away. Also I miss you as well, and bored too._

I hit the send button and quickly remember that I'm stark naked. I grab my boxers and slip into them when my phone goes yet again. I grab it and open the message.

**From: Sexy As Hell Alfred**

**To: Maple Master Matthew**

**Title: ReRe: Bored and Miss you**

_I know but you know I'll still text. What are you up to for the day?_

I smile and text back.

**From: Maple Master Matthew**

**To: Sexy As Hell Alfred**

**Title: ReRe: Bored and Miss you**

_Well dad went to work for a couple hours so I'm going to go eat, take my medication and probably draw or watch t.v. something around that idea._

While the reply sends I grab and pull on my bottoms and a t-shirt that I randomly pulled out but before I can put on my sweater my cell goes off once again.

**From: Sexy As Hell Alfred**

**To: Maple Master Matthew**

**Title: ReRe: Bored and Miss you**

_So you're home alone? Do you want me to pretend sick and come home to entertain you?_

I face palm but I can't help but chuckle.

**From: Maple Master Matthew**

**To: Sexy As Hell Alfred**

**Title: ReRe: Bored and Miss you**

_Alfie you do realize that dad will run you over with his car if he finds out you skip class..._

I finally slip into my sweater, grab my cell and I head downstairs to go eat. As I reach the bottom of the stairs my phone goes off again. I open the message.

**From: Sexy As Hell Alfred**

**To: Maple Master Matthew**

**Title: ReRe: Bored and Miss you**

_That is true. Le sigh I guess I'm stuck here until after school. If you need anything don't be afraid to text me. Crap got to go or else my freaking expensive Iphone might get snatched from me. Love you Mattie 3 3333_

A blush paints itself across my face and I can't help but giggle like a girl.

**From: Maple Master Matthew**

**To: Sexy As Hell Alfred**

**Title: ReRe: Bored and Miss you**

_Love you too Alfie. Now pay attention in class! 333_

I send the message and slip the cell into my pocket. I walk into the kitchen and see a note on the microwave. I take it off and read in papa's delicate cursive.

_Mon petit,_

_Pour toi est petit dejeuner dans le micro-ondes._

_Bon appétit mon fleur_

_Papa_

I smile and open the microwave to see pancakes, and a spinach cheese omelette waiting patiently for me. I smile and silently thank papa for the breakfast and I quickly reheat it. Once it's done I seat myself and dig in. I smile softly at the food and I take out the note that was on the floor in my bedroom. I reread it and I feel myself get sadder and more depressed as I read it. What am I going to do? Maybe they forgot about it. I slowly loose an appetite for breakfast and I stop eating. I put my head on the table and stay like that for awhile.

The door bell rings loudly through the house and I sit up. Who can that be? I slowly trudge towards the door but when I open it I don't see anyone at the door. Was it a prank? I'm about to turn to go back inside when something bright on the door step catches my view. What the? I reach down to pick up a bouquet of flowers and a note. I look around and close the door and lock it. I feel the world tilt a bit but I regain my balance. Woah what was that? I walk into the kitchen and I put down the flowers. I look at the note and I open the envelope.

_Dear man whore,_

_Don't think for a second that we forgot about you and your sorry ass. Well worthless piece of shit you better appear on Friday, and if you don't come we will personally come and hunt you down. Got that! Also it's hilarious that you think people care about you. They only pretend to so that they don't get in trouble because they ignore you. Oh yes you might want to check your facebook..._

_Justin and Mark_

I feel my stomach twist and my breakfast threaten to come back up. I run upstairs to my bedroom and turn on my laptop. As it starts up I feel myself get more nauseous by the passing second. The screen finally loads up and I quickly start up facebook and log into my account. Once I open it I feel myself slide down on to the ground and I let tears fall down my cheek.

There on the screen is a Photoshop picture of my face on some random guy's body humping some random guy, and underneath it says man whore in huge bold letters. A sob racks through my body and I feel my sense of sanity slip pass me. I run into the bathroom but everything is locked. I feel the painful pressure in my chest build heavier and more painful. Oh maples please make it stop! I run downstairs and I slip and I fall down the remaining of the stairs. Pain shoots through my body but I ignore it. I rip open the cutlery drawer to find it open I grab a knife and I run upstairs. I nearly slip again but my mind is too gone to bother with nonsense like that. I run into my bedroom and lock the door but the pressure becomes too unbearable. I start to cough hard and it burns my throat. I drop the knife and I walk towards my bed and laptop. I stumble though and I cough harder. I feel something warm rise up my throat, I cover my mouth with my hand but before I can hold it back it comes out. I feel my blood stop and my body run cold as I look at what I threw up, but before I can let out a scream I throw up again.

**I'm The Hero**

**Alfred's POV**

The lunch bell rings and I finally leave my dreadfully boring class. I came so close to losing my cell earlier but lucky me I didn't. My stomach fills with butterflies as I remember Mattie texting me that he loves me too. I smile and I try not skip through the hall, because you know that is so totally un hero like. I reach into my pocket and whip out my phone again. I dial Mattie's cell phone number and wait patiently for him to pick up, but it goes to voice mail. That's strange Mattie always pick his phone. I try it again but I get the same results as my first try. Alright then I'll just call the home number.

I feel myself panic a bit but I force myself to calm down. Something doesn't feel right. I phone home but no one picks up. I try calling again two (actually seven) more times and then I decide that something is wrong. Something is very, very wrong. I rush to my locker and grab my bomber jacket and head out. As I nearly reach the front doors I bump into Feliciano and the others and...and Ivan?

"Alfred we were looking for you every where did you check facebook?" Antonio stutters to me. His face screams fear. I shake my head.

"No but I'm going home Mattie isn't answer any of my calls," I reply. I turn to leave but Ludwig stops me.

"We really think you should look at facebook," he says sternly but concern is in his eyes.

"I don't have time-" I begin to protest but Lovino cuts me off.

"For fucks sake look at Matthew's damn facebook page!" Lovino yells at me.

"Comrade I agree with the loud rude Italian brother. Stop complaining and look at the page da?" Ivan says calmly but his eyes say a whole different story. I stare at them for a few seconds then I connect to the school wi-fi (which is shit just to let you know) and look at Matthew's page.

The longer I stare at the page the more I feel my blood boil. The longer I look at the names the more I feel myself about to murder them.

"Oh once I get my hands around their mother fucking neck I am going to give them the most slow and painful death," I hiss.

"You go to Matvey; we'll deal with those two. I fear for the worst," Ivan trials off. I feel my body grow ten degrees colder. Oh god Matthew. I sprint to my car as fast as I can and I book it home. I push the speed limit but I don't care if the cops get pissed and chase me. They can kiss my ass for all I care.

I make it home in less than ten minutes and I see dad and papa in the front driveway talking. I park quickly behind them with a loud screech and I yank my keys out of the ignition and run past them.

"Alfred what are you doing here. Aren't you supposed to be at school?" Dad yells at me I stab the keyhole with my key and open the door. Once it's open I start screaming Matthew's name. After a brief moment dad and pops run in following me. I hop up the stairs taking three at a time to come upstairs to see Mattie's door closed but worries me is that Mattie's polar bear is scratching at door whining. I rush over to his door and try to open it but to find it locked.

"Mattie open up this door right now!" I scream out to him. There is silence and I feel sick. Oh god Mattie.

"Matthew I'm dead serious open the door!" Nothing, "Matthew this isn't funny open the fucking door!" Still nothing. Something in the back of my mind tells me I have to get in there now. I step away from the door and dad asks me what I'm doing. I kick hard onto Mattie's door and it gives away. It roughly swings open and hit the wall with a bang but I don't even flinch.

"Oh my god," came out of my mouth. I feel my legs give out underneath me and just I stare into Mattie's room. Dad yells and runs towards me. He tries to get me to speak but he stops and looks into Mattie's room. He lets out a long, and loud pain filled, agonizing scream, he runs into Matthew's room. Pops chases dad in only to stop when he sees inside of the room.

There in middle of the room is Mattie lying on the floor...but the entire room is covered, and smeared in his blood.

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**Egad Mattie don't die! Your too cute to die! Sorry this is late projects and tests are popping up out of now where these days. Also sorry there isn't much smut...you all know the reason why. So I should be retyping it and adding the dirty parts then put it on my blog later. I think (Jess, Ky and Tophy knows) I'm overworking myself. Getting 30 min sleep everyday for 2 months, not exactly a proper meal, and being dizzy, with a slight tummy ache is bad...well not really in my books but in their books it is. They're still wondering what I'm running on I told them I'm that energizing battery bunny from the commercial! Geesh they should know this by now! So I decided screw it even though their going to kill me and I did homework anyway instead of napping. Well while I was typing I notice that I haven't finished the chapter (it was half assed waiting for me to finish it) so I was like what the hell it wont' hurt me to finish up. **

**One tummy ache, sleepy, dizzy, homework still to finish, yelling Jess on msn, ****4 hours later here I am. Curled up into a little ball tired but knowing that I have to stay up to finish homework. Because I usually go to bed at 6 am and wake up for school at 6:30 am. Also on the weekend I have community hours...so yep. I just feel myself dragging through the day and falling asleep in classes. Mhmm and a very angry Jess screaming at me to go to sleep and who cares about school, health before work...Jess you know I need to get good grades and if I have to sacrifice sleep, well I will! Well it's still early 10:36pm so I'm off to homework... TT^TT**

******Ciao for now.**


	17. Heading to my death sentence

**I'm so sorry that it's been forever! I secretly died during now and my last post. Life has been actually crazy lately and I'm finally able to quickly catch my breath and finish up this unfinished chapter and post it. Ladies and few gentlemen who read this (*cough cough* Please stop hiding!* cough hack*) I present to you perfection chapter 17! * hears someone cough in the distance and crickets* Oh * cries in the corner* I said I'm sorry!**

* * *

**I'm Ca-na-da, eh**

"Mr. Kirkland-Bonnefoy I need you to wake up honey," a quiet voice asks me gently. I groan and try to roll over. Why is it so cold? " Oh good he's starting to respond, Stan can you increase the morphine a bit and Jessica can you alert the family that he's starting to respond," the voice orders. I hear shuffling around me and I start to feel a bit woozy and light.

"Mr. Kirkland-Bonnefoy I need you to wake up now. I'm Miranda Love but you can call me Miranda," the voice repeats to me. I moan again and slowly try to open my eyes. When I can focus my vision I see a young female smiling down at me with relief in her eyes. I realize that I am back again in the hospital (the scent gave it all away) and I groan. Not again what is it with me and finding myself back in the hospital lately. Why don't I just live here for god's sake!

"Oh thank heavens you're responding now. Now can you tell me your first name hon?" She asks me slowly. I stare at her for a few heartbeats and realize what she is asking me to do. I open my mouth but quickly shut it as my first name slips my mind. The doctor gives me a very concern look and she decides to ask a different question.

"Alright how about when is your birthday?" She asks me in the same slow voice. I continue to stare at her like she was insane and try to recall my name and birthday. Don't get me wrong I remember it's just for some strange reason I can't remember right now. I let out a frustrated cry as I try to remember simple things that I should be able to say in a heartbeat. I see worry growing on Miranda's face and she looks at her colleague. The man shrugs and points to something on his clip board and Miranda nod her head.

"Okay how about this do you remember your immediate family names?" She asks me like it's my last hope. I think for awhile and fuzzy names appear in my mind. I try to will them to be clear and they get a bit clearer.

"Papa's name is...is Fran...Francis. Mama's name is...Iggy- no Artie- no Arnold wait that doesn't sound right. Oh Arthur and my brother's name is Al...Alp...Alf..Alfred. I hope I'm not missing anyone," I say quietly I look up at Miranda and I see relief on her face, "I guess I got those names right." She smiles and nods her head and sighs. She and her colleague walk to the corner and discuss something in hush tones, and when they're done they walk to me and Miranda begins to speak again.

"Okay let's try again. Can you still not remember your name?" I look at Miranda and try again to remember my name. My mind draws up a fuzzy name and just like the others I try to unfuzz it (if that even makes sense). After a couple seconds it all hits me like a tonne of bricks.

"My name is Matthew Jean-Pierre Williams, my birthday is June first. Geesh how can I have forgotten that?" I ask myself like I was the most stupid person alive. Which I am but I'm not going to say that out loud. Miranda breaks into a large grin and laughs.

"Don't worry it happens to the best of us. Now I want you to tell me if you remember anything that happened yesterday when you were home alone," Miranda asks me in a serious tone. I look at her with bewilderment all over my face. Something happened yesterday. Miranda looks at my face and frowns. I bite my lip and try to remember but flashes of me throwing up appear in my mind.

"Umm I threw up and I tried to go to the bathroom?" I offer her as my answer; she sighs and looks at me harder.

"Matthew you don't need to worry about me judging you or anything of those sorts," she says sternly. I look at her and sigh. Alright then I'll try harder. I think harder and try to recall what happened the previous day. After three minutes of silence memory of what happened comes flooding my mind. I feel myself trying to sink deeper under the blanket trying to avoid eye contact with the two doctors. Dear maple why didn't I just die from blood lost.

"I'm guessing you remembered what happened but I would like to know how you got your hands on a knife." Miranda asks calmly. My jaw drops and I stare at her. Wait you knew all along about what happened? I think my expression gave it all away and she smiles a small smile and nods her head. I groan and decide to answer her question.

"The previous day before yesterday, my brother and I were cutting fruits for a snack. Then my papa made dinner but I guess he forgot to lock the cutlery drawer so when I ran downstairs to try to find a knife it was conveniently open, and yeah," my voice then trails off in the end and I try to hide my face in embarrassment. Miranda nods her head now understanding the knife on the floor. Then she says more to herself.

"But I didn't find any self harmed injuries on you so I guess all that blood in your room you threw up, but wouldn't you be dead from so much blood lost." I feel my body freeze up and try to control my breathing.

"Well I did smear it all over the place instead of one spot in the room," I try to convince her. Miranda looks over at me and nods her head slowly in agreement; I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding and relax. That was too close.

"Well then I'm going to go check some charts and I'll then call in your family okay Matthew. It was nice meeting you," Miranda says with a smile. Miranda and her colleague then check some clip boards, adjust my IV, and then leaves. I close my eyes and realize that I'm starting to feel light and sleepy again. I giggle at the sensation and smile maybe a little nap wouldn't hurt. I feel myself drift into slumber and I softly hear a click from the door.

**Hahaha I'm the Hero**

I watch pops gently open the door to Mattie's room and I feel my patience wearing thin. I had to leave after visiting hours last night and I also had to go to school because dad wouldn't let me stay, and now all I wanted to do was see Mattie and hug him. Mattie was in the emergency room so they wouldn't allow me to see him. So of course I'm kinda grouchy (that's a huge understatement) today. I let out a loud sigh and I watch as pops and dad give me an impatient glare.

"Alfred I understand that you want to see little Mathieu very badly but you can at least be a bit more patient about it. He is probably exhausted and drained from yesterday's event," pops says tiredly. We were all tired and grouchy but I just couldn't help myself. Today those bastards skipped school so I couldn't beat the fuck out of them so I have pent up anger in me, so pops and dad can bite my ass. Also I when I went into Mattie's room to clean up the blood I found a note from Mark and Justin telling Mattie to meet them on Thursday, so to make a long story short I'm pissed off today. I quietly fume in my head and we finally enter the room. There on the white bed is Mattie looking pale from all the blood he lost with a tired look on his face. His sleeping face looks a bit in pain and I feel my heart twist. Oh Mattie. I push past my dads and stand by my little brother's side.

"I'm so sorry Mattie," I whisper gently. I cautiously pick up his hand and kiss it softly. He shivers slightly and shuffles in his sleep. I sit down beside the bed and sigh. I feel like such a lousy hero. Honestly he should be getting better not worst. I continue to look at his sleeping form and I look up at the window seeing rain. Heh outside matches my mood perfectly. It's been raining all day and I'm sick and tired of it.

"Alfie?" A soft voice that I have come to love asks quietly. I look down and see Mattie looking up at me. I realize he's not really there but more in a dream like state.

"I'm right here Mattie. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you," I whisper gently. I hold back tears so that I can look strong. I have to strong for Mattie and make him feel safe. It's the least I can do after all the years of pain and fear he suffered. Mattie smiles delicately and slowly lifts his hand to my face. He wipes away a tear that I didn't was there and giggles peacefully.

"It's okay, it was my fault for overreacting. You look like you haven't slept at all. Even heroes need to sleep you know," Mattie tries to reason with me. I shake my head at him and sigh. It's true that I didn't sleep at all last night but that's the least of my worries. I give Mattie a little pout and cross my arms in front of my chest.

"You look like you can get some sleep too Mattie. Plus I'm the hero that means taking care of you even if I lose sleep," I say stubbornly. I watch as he gives me a weak glare and I can't help but chuckle at how cute he looks. His beautiful eyes blur a bit with unshed tears and his rosy cheeks looking bright against his pale skin.

"But Alfie I feel guilty that everyone is so stressed and tired because of me. I-I could have dealt with my panic attack on my own," he says. I feel drained and I look at him with a serious look.

"No you couldn't Matthew. Oh and also is there something you want to tell me involving Justin and Mark Matthew?" I ask sternly to him. I watch as Mattie's face gets paler and he growls coldly at me.

"No Alfred there is nothing I need to tell you about those two. Is there something the matter?" He asks me in the same cold voice as I gave him in my previous question. I watch as the mood get darker and I wonder why he keeps hiding things from us. The air gets heavier and Mattie glares at me harder. I feel the tension rise between us until dad butts into the conversation.

"Well then Matthew honey we heard that you momentarily forgot your name," dad says desperately trying to change the subject. I notice that he left out the fact he also almost forgot our names but I leave it at be. Matthew sighs and blushes hard. He nods his head and sink underneath the blankets.

"Oh my maple that was one of the most embarrassing thing that could have ever happen to me," he mumbles from under the blankets. Dad and pops chuckles, and walk over to Mattie's bed.

"Well it can happen to anyone," pops tries to comfort Mattie. He lets a little whine and continues hiding under the blanket. Our dads laugh quietly and Mattie pops his from under the blanket and glare at them.

"Oh yea why don't you laugh at your pathetic son because he forgot his own name like the idiot he is," Mattie complains he brings the blanket over his head dramatically and lets out a quiet whimper. Dad's smile falters a bit and he sighs.

"Matthew you are not pathetic nor an idiot. Please stop putting down yourself honey," dad utters to Mattie. Pops unconsciously nod his head agreeing with dad but Mattie continues to hide his face under the blanket. I get up and walk to the door.

"Alfred, where are you going?" Dad asks me. I feel myself get more pissed at myself for not saying anything about Mattie's little date with his bully and ex and even more pissed at Mattie acting like nothing is wrong. I glare at him trying to get him to admit to something but he doesn't poke his head out. I look at them with an expressionless look and just leave the room.

**Maple Syrup for All**

I hear the door shut and my heart aches. I know I couldn't have dealt with the panic attack all by myself. Proof of it is that I grabbed the knife on instinct, but I couldn't help myself. It just felt natural. Did Alfred know about me meeting Justin and Mark tomorrow? I pray that he doesn't! I sigh wanting to be home again in my bedroom. Why did I have to be found out?

_**Because you're an idiot, you should have locked the door. **_

I bite my lip. I thought the dark voice had left me but I guess not. I hold back tears and bite back a sob. It's all my fault that everyone is stressed. Everyone probably is getting sick and tired of me.

"I'm sorry for being alive," I whisper under my breath. I can feel my parents' eyes on me but I refuse to come out. My parents either didn't hear me or are pretending not to hear me and one of them pats my back.

"Mathieu tomorrow you can go home," papa says to me, trying to make me happy. I peak through my blanket and look at my parents. They have a weak look on their face and I nod my head giving them a fake happy smile.

"Okay."

**...le time skip...**

I stare out the window watching the scenery past me. I hear dad and papa talk in quiet tones but I ignore them thinking up a plan. A plan to escape tonight from Justin and Mark. I sadly woke up this morning remembering that today they want to meet me and I feel myself getting sicker at the thought. I can just pop up show my face and run for my life but that will show how weak I am. I sigh and watch streets pass by in a blur. What am I going to do?

"Mathieu you dad and I were thinking about all of us go to your favourite dessert restaurant tonight. What do you think?" Papa asks me carefully. I look up in the rear view mirror and I see him giving me a worried smile. I put on my fake charade and nod my head eagerly.

"Oui papa, that sounds like fun!" I add on a giggle and I see my parents' expression soften up and they smile softly with relief in their eyes. I feel a stab of guilt for giving them false hope but I swallow it down and continue looking out the window. After a few minutes in silence we reach home and we head inside. I'm attack by Kuma and I give a real laugh.

"Oh I am so sorry Kuma you were probably worried sick," the polar bear whines. I giggle and pick up the small white bear and hug him. He lets out a little happy growl and licks my nose showering me in his polar bear kisses. I hear my parents' chuckle and I continue to smile happily at Kuma.

"I'm heading to my room," I inform my parents. I carry Kuma to my room and leave the door slightly ajar and put Kuma on my bed. I search for the note and finally find it. Staring at it I sigh and put it down on my bed.

"Oh Kuma what am I going to do?" I ask my bear softly scared of my parents over hearing me. Kuma growls and swats at the note I feel myself frown and I lay down on my back looking up at my ceiling. I stay like that for awhile and get up off my bed and decide to take a shower. I grab my towel and head to the bathroom. Once inside I start to slowly strip looking at myself in the mirror. I see all the scars and the ugliness on my body with a lost expression on my weird face. Where did the old me go?

_**Did you forget you idiot he died after your teacher stole your virginity! You're such an idiot you bitch.**_

I watch in the mirror as a tear falls down my cheek leaving a wet trail. I rush into the shower and turn on my shower until its scolding hot. I wince at the heat and sit on the tub floor and I quietly sob. Why is the world so cold? Why can't I be happy? I continue sitting there and finally make my mind up to start bathing myself. I wash my body but still feeling the dirt from being used so many times on me. I scrub hard until my skin is red and raw still not feeling satisfied. I let out a defeated sigh and decide to come out the shower before my parents start knocking on the door worried. I wash off the soap and shampoo then turn off the tap. I come out the shower and look at the fogged mirror, feeling relief about not being able to see myself. I leave the bathroom and head to my room closing the door. I blindly grab on some warm comfortable clothes and my cell. I kiss the now sleeping Kuma and head downstairs. I walk into the kitchen to see my parents.

"Papa, dad can I go the park?" I request as innocently as I can. I look at them with my best puppy dog face and watch them falter a bit. Dad looks at papa with an unsure look and I watch as papa bites his bottom lip.

"Are you sure you want to start going outside yet?" Papa asks me with concern. I nod my head and pout.

"You two do realize that it's the middle of the school day. No one is going to be at the park," I urge my parents to take the bait. Dad sighs and looks at papa again.

"I guess you can go, but if you go I want you to call immediately if something happens," dad warns me. I nod my head furiously and smile a small fake smile.

"I promise," I say quietly crossing my fingers behind my back. Dad and papa give an unsure nod and I blow them kisses. I run to the front of the house and pull on my jacket and shoes. I head outside and start heading in the direction of the park. I'm sorry everyone. When I'm far enough from my house I pull out my cell phone and call Justin.

"Meet me in the park in five minutes," I say quietly.

* * *

** Hey guys I know I know I died! But let's do a quick catch up on life! **

**First off in events I turned 17 on Jan 30 *does a lame dance* Yay!I was then moved to the basement to make some room for my baby brother. My new baby brother was born two weeks ago (why life has been even more hectic than usual!). I (and Tophy because we have all four classes together this semester. Yea we're stalking each other) had test after test in the past few weeks since the new semester started. Also I wrapped a chord around my neck 3 times...**

**Yep...mhmm... you read write. Ha two times before Simba (my new nickname for my baby bro) was born and once after he was born. Why you ask! Why did I do it! Because I'm a fuck up that's why. I've been told that for awhile now and now I believe it, but I think I snapped when my parents started repeating what those people has been telling me. I know my parents meant it in a different context so that they can help me grow and survive on my own but hey my mind took it the wrong way. So for the pass few days (actually years) I did what I usually do and get my grandma's old broken cell phone and went into the cold storage room (my new closet) and close the door and pretend to call my dad (I live with my step dad and mom). (The last time I talked to him was four years ago when he called me for my birthday and said that I had a new baby sister as my birthday gift) I sat down on the cold floor and pretend to call him (he changes his number every two month to avoid my mom calling him) and I say hello. I continue saying hello waiting for someone to answer and after a few minutes I "tell him" my pain. Sad and pathetic I know but I automatically do it. When I'm done I brokenly like a broken record say hello can you hear me...well a couple days ago I did that with chord wrapped tight around my neck saying hello into the broken phone then Jess, Ky, and my other best friend Tophy (Tophy is bi) answer. They open the door and see me shivering, crying,and with a chord wrapped tightly around my neck, talking into the phone and they heard my whole conversation with my dad. I felt guilty and they just closed the door wrapped me in a blanket, untie the chord from around my neck and hug me tightly. They continue to answer my hello until I stopped crying and calmed down. I feel so guilty about them catching me and even more guilty that they stayed in a freezing cold closet for nearly an hour. Ugh. So yep. Now I'm sick with a high fever and a stomach ache (rushed to the hospital because the vomit was settling in my throat making me feel like I could breathe) on medicine that forces me to throw up. Feeling pretty sad and pathetic...**

**To those who are saying hello into that broken telephone (metaphorically or legitimately) I say hello back, because I understand what it feels like. I'm sorry everyone.  
**

**Enough on depressing things. Simba my little hero loves being around me the most in the family. So far I'm the only one who makes him smile and gurgle happily so because of that I decided that I'm going to be a good big sister and watch over him! Gah I love this baby! He is honestly the cutest (me being bias guys babies around the world don't take it personally I think you guys are adorable too!). So that life! **

**Ciao for now**


	18. Blood Everywhere

**Hey guy's it's Jesse. I know it has been ages since Jace have updated but she has a valid reason why not to. Anyway without further adieu (well until later) I give to you (actually Jace) chapter 18 of Perfection. Enjoy.**

* * *

I wrap my jacket closer around my body as I swing slowly on the swing waiting for my ex and bully. I chew my lip and look at the empty park feeling scared and lonely. What am I doing? Honestly why am I here risking my ass and having a chance at getting killed? Or even worst, not killed but kidnapped and tortured. I know my logic is kind of messed up. Normal people would be scared of someone killing them but I think the torture is worst if you're kidnapped. It just drags on. I shiver as a particularly cold spring breeze blow past me, leaving the trees rustling. I stop swinging as I wipe away a couple of tears from the breeze. I look at my cell to see that I've been here for twenty minutes. I decide to get up; I then pat my pants a bit and start to leave. Maybe I'm lucky and they don't want to bother with me. Maybe they're too busy.

"Maybe it was a stupid idea. I mean maybe I'm just being too eager. I should talk with everyone about this an-"I'm cut off when someone grabs me from behind and drags me into the forest. They blindfold and gag me while dragging me deeper into the forest where no one can hear me. I'm so stupid I shouldn't have done this.

**Hardy Har Har**

I absentmindedly play with my pencil while my English teacher teach us about the important themes of Frankenstein and the next annoying test that is coming up on the novel. I sigh and quickly check my cell for any texts from Mattie. I know I shouldn't be expecting any because of our little fallout yesterday at the hospital, but man did I want to talk with Mattie. The lunch bell rings and I do my daily routine ever since the first time I caught Mattie being bullied, I check Justin and Mark lockers. When I don't see either of them I ask around the school to find out that they skipped again. I growl under my breath and I head to the cafeteria.

I buy a burger with fries and I head to the usual table with Mattie and my friends not my jock friends. I sit down beside Feliciano and poke at my food a bit and slowly chew on a fry. The others look at my face but stay silent everyone is too busy thinking about Mattie. What am I going to do? I show everyone the note about Mattie meeting up with Justin and Mark. Then look away to glance at my cell phone, playing with it trying to will Mattie to text me or call me. The table grows quieter and I decide that I'm not hungry and I get up throw away my lunch and I head to my locker to get my stuff for the afternoon.

**Time Skip eh...**

I lock the door to my car and open the door to the house; feeling tired and a bit worked up from Mattie not calling or texting me all day. I enter the kitchen to get a snack and I see dad pacing the kitchen and pops trying to sit still.

"Umm good afternoon to you guys too," I say cautiously, dad continues to pace the room while pops look up at me with a tiny smile. I give both of them suspicious looks while I head to the fridge and take out an apple. I bite into its red flesh and stare at the two with patient looks. Waiting for them to explain to me what happened.

"Good afternoon Alfred, while you were driving home did you perhaps happen to see Mathieu walking from the park or at the park?" pops asks nervously. Bingo. I slowly shake my head no and I watch as dad go paler and pace the room faster. I look back at pops but he keeps on his poker face. I sigh and walk upstairs quietly. I go into Mattie's bedroom and see his polar bear sleeping quietly on the bed, unconscious of his owner missing. I walk over to his bed and see the old picture of us at the beach on his night table. I smile softly and walk to his table seeing notes and homework along with his open sketchbook. There is a quick sketch of me laughing on the open page; I stare at the picture in awe, letting my finger lightly trace the curves and lines. I sigh and quietly put down the sketchbook and I leave Mattie's room and head to mine. I look at the framed picture of Mattie and me cooking together from last year. Him smiling softly at me holding in a laugh, while I'm covered in flour trying to roll a meat filled pastry. I chuckle and head to my closet taking out my baseball bat, a smile still on my face. Only this time my smile is a crazed one.

No one fucks with my Mattie and live to see another day alive...

**Bloody Hell**

I hold in a sob looking at Francis then go back to my pacing. I glance up to see Alfred leaving, his blonde hair bobbing past the doorway.

"Alfred, where are you going?" I holler out at him.

"Out," Alfred dead pans I hear the front door slam and I wince biting my lip. I let one of my hands grip my chest where my heart is and my other hand grab at my hair trying hard not to freak out. I hear Francis sigh and he takes my hand and pulls me onto his lap and kisses me on my cheek.

"Mon cher, I need you to calm down. You look like you're about to pass out and that worries me," Francis says softly into my ear. I sob and hold on to Francis crying softly. Where is Matthew? It's been hours since he left and he still isn't here. I feel Francis rub my back and whispers words of reassurance into my ear softly. I curl up on Francis's lap burying my face into the crook of his neck. He rocks me gently and I grip onto his shirt, scared that he too will disappear on me. Where did I go wrong? I knew I shouldn't have let Matthew go. Is he ok? Does he feel sick? Is he hurting? Oh my god! I-is he a-alive? My heart squeezes tightly at the thought of losing my son. I begin to cry unable to hold it in anymore. Please god, please make Matthew be alive. I start to hyperventilate and Francis sighs and forces me to look at him in the eyes. I look at sad deep endless blue eyes and he gives me a weak smile.

"Have faith our petit fleur is strong," Francis says in a hushed tone. I try to calm down and I nod my head. Francis smiles at me, giving me his encouraging smiles. He slowly leans in and captures my lips and gives me a loving kiss. I sigh into the kiss and let my eyes close shut wrapping my arms around his neck. When we pull apart I lay my head onto his shoulder letting my eyes shut. The only sounds in the quiet house are our breathing and I slowly open my eyes looking at Francis.

"I want my baby back Francis," I murmur softly into his neck. Francis sighs softly and kisses my head.

"I want him back too Arthur," he answers back. I shudder feeling sleepy from crying. Francis notices and smiles softly.

"Let's take a quick nap, and if neither of the boys appears then we'll try to find them okay?" He suggest to me. I slowly nod my head feeling my eyes grow heavier. Francis stands up and carries me to our room. He rests me on the bed and crawls onto the other side and spoons me. I yawn quietly feeling safe but still numb from knowing Matthew is missing. I drift to sleep while Francis hums softly to me. His humming growing quieter as the minutes past as he too fall asleep.

**Howdy Y'all**

I look around the park not spotting Matthew anywhere. I growl under my breath and sit down on one of the swings observing the park. A few of the neighbourhood children play and shout, I sigh remembering what it felt like to be like them. Carefree and have nothing to worry about. I get up and walk down the path near the forest when I see something glimmer in the late afternoon light near one of the bushes on the outskirts of the forest. I walk towards it and pick it up, observing it. It's Mattie rare collection maple leaf pin that is usually pinned on his jacket. I feel my eye twitch and I twirl my baseball bat in my hand expertly. I slip the pin into my bomber jacket pocket and head into the forest, not knowing what I'm getting myself into. I quickly question if I'm going the right way but in my heart I know I am. I continue to walk deeper into the forest when I hear voices and Mattie's. I slowly creep towards the voices.

I gasp at what I see. If I didn't recognize Mattie's whimpering voice I wouldn't have been able to tell if it was him. Nothing about him is recognizable. Mattie is covered head to toe in cuts, bruises and blood, curled up in the fatal position weakly crying out while the two bastards beat him up. I watch in horror as Mattie cough up blood, slightly wheezing.

"Look at the pathetic faggot! Are you prepared to die you bitch?" Mark yells at Mattie. Mattie whimpers and let out a hoarse scream when kicks his back sharply. Justin laughs and grabs Mattie by his hair pulling him up.

"No one loves you, you're a whore. A faggot but most importantly a bitch of a low life who should be dead," Justin hisses at Mattie, he starts repeatedly punching Mattie's face and Mattie lets out choked cries. Everything in my mind shuts down and all I see is red. I slowly walk up Justin and Mark a crazed look in my eyes.

"What are you two doing to my Mattie?" I ask darkly. Everything instantly goes silent except for Mattie's wheezing. Justin let's go of Mattie as he crumples to the groan moaning. I watch as Justin goes slightly pale but Mark keeps a straight face.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Mark growls at me. I laugh slightly maniacally and swing my baseball bat, walking closer to the two. I stop swinging the bat, resting it on my shoulder. I immediately stop laughing and look at Mark. He shakes a bit but keeps his ground while Justin gives us both a nervous look. None of us notice Mattie trying to sit up and watching us three.

"Do not answer my question with another," I say silently, "what are you two doing to my Mattie?"

"Well you saw for yourself now didn't you? We were beating up your faggot of a brother and we will continue to do it. Do you have a problem with that?" Mark challenges me. I smirk and use my southern drawl that I only use when I'm really mad or want to make Mattie laugh.

"Yes I do have a problem with y'all beating up my baby bro, but the true question is which one of y'all I'm going to beat the fucking shit out of?" I ask in a crazed way. I observe as Justin begin to shake and fear fully takes of Mark. I raise the bat of my head and slam it down hear a cracking noise fill the air. I grow sick when I see who receive the blow though.

Mattie lets out a hoarse scream that echoes through my ears and down my spine. I hold down my puke as Mattie grip his left wrist. I watch as Mark looks up at Mattie from his position on the ground where Mattie pushed him. Justin silently wheezes holding his chest from the scare. Mattie falls to the ground tears falling down his swollen eyes. He turns to his head slowly towards Justin and Mark staring at the two. I look down at my bat covered in Mattie's blood shaking badly.

"Please leave," Mattie whispers. No one moves a muscle letting the scene sink into their minds. When the two realize that I might actually kill them they bolt out of the woods in a daze panic. Mattie looks up at me with a pain look on his face. I watch as Mattie shudder quietly and I fall to my knees tears flooding down my eyes. I crawl away from Mattie and empty my stomach unable to look at my bat. I hear Mattie's bones shattering, still echoing in my ears.

"Alfie, do you know how much trouble we would have been if I didn't block Mark?" Mattie asks me frailly. I look at Mattie and watch him sway, unable to focus on me anymore. I sob feeling guilty then, crawl towards Mattie and hold him. I watch Mattie fall unconscious and I stifle a sob. I slowly pull out my cell feeling sick as I watch Mattie's blood cover the screen. I scroll through my contacts and phone a group call knowing that I'll be on speaker, but I address my parents instead of my friends.

"Daddy, pops, can countries die?" I ask not able to hold in my sobs. I wail feeling my heart-break.

**We keep fighting**

I feel my blood run cold when I hear Alfred ask us a scary question.

"Alfred honey what's wrong? Where are you? Are you ok?" I ask I look down at the phone then up at Francis who too is pale. We hear Alfred cry uncontrollable, and then hear Ivan's voice. I guess he didn't just call us...

"Comrade, why would you ask such a question?" Ivan asks intently.

"Yeah Alfred, why?" Feliciano cuts in, his voice shaking a bit. There is some shuffling and then we hear Ludwig's voice.

"First thing is first, just like your father asked you, are you ok Alfred?" Ludwig asks in his no-nonsense voice. We hear Alfred cry unable to catch his breath, but when he does catch his breath I feel my heart drop like lead when he answers the question.

"Mattie...Mattie...Mattie...Mattie!" Alfred screams at the end. I begin to panic, and Francis talks in a rush voice.

"Alfred, what about Mathieu? Where are you two?"

"Mattie, blood, forest, what h-have I done, Mark and Justin, blood, Mattie, Mattie, help, blood, too much blood," Alfred chokes out. I fight with myself trying not to pass out. I look outside to see that it's almost dark.

"Alfred don't move a muscle we're coming," Antonio says worriedly but Francis intervenes giving out commands, "Whoever is coming make sure you bring flashlights. It's going to be dark soon and we can't afford losing anyone in the forest. Alfred we'll text you when we are in the forest and keep your phone light on bright so that we can spot you two."

"Okay, please hurry. Please," Alfred begs, I tremble. Alfred always try to sound brave but now he sounds like Matthew is honestly about to die. I get up off the bed while Francis gives further instructions. I grab the first aid kit, flash lights, and blanket for Matthew, along with two water bottles. When I finish grabbing the supplies, Francis comes up grabbing his car keys and we head to the park.

Upon arriving, at the parking lot to the huge park we see the other kids and Elizaveta along with Roderich pacing back and forth waiting for us. When the notice us we all give each other nervous looks and head to the forest scared of what me might find. We split up into groups of two, and I text Alfred that we're here, turning on my flashlight trying to find my two sons. After a good twenty minutes Francis and I grow a bit tired but still restless. Then out of the darkness we hear a blood curling scream from Feliciano on our right. We sprint towards the scream as fast as we can trying not to trip or run into anything.

"Feliciano are you ok?" we hear Lovino cry out from just ahead.

"Matvey!" Ivan hollers out.

"Mios Dio!" We then hear Antonio scream at the top of his lungs. I run faster trying to get to them, feeling alarmed and nervous. When we reach the spot where we heard the screams we flash our flashlight on the kids looking at them, seeing them stare at the end of their lights from their flashlights. Francis and I follow the light and freeze at the blood trailing up towards the two bodies. I feel my heart freeze up as my eyes finally land on Alfred soaked in Matthew's blood holding onto Matthew who is covered in blood, cuts, blood caked dirt and bruises. I shake unable to tell if it was really Matthew. His hair matted and covered in blood, dirty and leaves. His face spotted with bruises of all colours. His clothes ripped and covered in blood, with parts that have cuts made by a knife. I then look at his feet noticing that one of his shoe's are missing and the other barely on. I listen to Matthew wheeze, him clinging on to what little oxygen that is entering his body. I can barely tell if I'm looking at Matthew. I hear Francis swear in French and then Elizaveta and Roderich catch up. Elizaveta screams loudly at the sight of Matthew and sobs gripping Roderich tightly unable to look away. Alfred looks up at everyone his eyes dead and my eyes catch sight of his baseball bat covered in blood. I shake my head scared of what Alfred has done. Alfred follows my gaze and whimpers.

"Mattie blocked me from hitting Mark. He saved his life and told the two flee. I shattered his wrist, I know I did," Alfred mumbles his eyes dilated. I nod my head feeling to light headed. I don't realize that I'm falling as I pass out. I faintly hear Francis say something but my thoughts quickly run through my mind before I pass out.

Can countries really die?

* * *

**So hello again. You are all wondering why it took months for this update or any of her other story updates. Well to let you guys know there are three reasons. 1) We have all been bombarded with so much last minute projects before exams (like honestly I haven't had some serious cuddle time with Kyle because of this!) 2) Jace is seriously sick and if you don't understand how sick here's what I mean by sick. She's been sick for three months and have been letting stress, lack of sleep, and her eating disorder (which she still denies to this day) get to her causing her to constantly be having dizzy spells and nearly passing out and other bad symptoms. She's constantly having nightmares and she's been getting really jumpy 3) Her home situation has been growing really scary and intense. It's too the point that she went to guidance at our school to admit that she's depressed and getting dangerously close to killing herself. This is Jace. This is my best friend. This is my little sister that I never had. I honestly want to beat myself up because she looks like she's going to die because she can barely concentrate at school from feeling weak. She's constantly shaking and sometimes she can't move. It scared the living shit out of Kyle and I but what scares us the most is that she told guidance and not us tell them. The other day she let us read her diary from when she moved to Canada and my heart shattered at how much pain she was experiencing this whole time. I started to cry and right now am crying when I realized that I didn't realize the pain and her screaming for help through her smile. This bubbly, happy, hyper energetic girl has been living double lives. So now she's going to go talk to a doctor about her physical and mental problems. She asked me to type while she speaks and update for her because she was scared of you guys honestly full on hating her. Even though we tell her that you guys wont. She whimpers whenever she gets yelled at and she always had a weak stomach. So it gets really bad for her sometimes.**

**On a brighter note she promised herself to stop being a bitch and get out of her depression mode and actually give everyone a new update in all her stories. Even if she has to force me to type it all out for her. Her words not mine, so now she's curled up in between Kyle and Chris on her bed trying to stay awake, but to be honest she's failing miserably. No one has to do this but if you can please show your support to her and leave her kind comments and not bitchy ones she would love that a lot. Also she told me type "Mattie my big brother that I wish I can exchange with one of my other older brothers please don't die". Some magical way she always try to keep positive for us. She doesn't know how much we love her. How much her other friends love her. Heh coming from a gay guy, I pray to god that he will answer my prayer to heal my baby sister. I'm being really selfish but I don't want to loose Jace. **

**To all of you who are in the same position as me or her. I wish you guys luck and faith. **

**Like Jace always say, ciao for now.**


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